to ask you to help me convince DH we should get a dishwasher?

[Chulita]

We don't have one, 2 DC and one on the way, I cook/bake a lot and I'm so sick of washing up piles of dishes.
He says it makes you lazy and it doesn't take long to wash up, fine but I don't want to do it if some genius has invented a machine that can do it while we sleep (and I'm already lazy)

Every single time I switch on my dishwasher, or washing machine, I offer up a prayer to the god of domestic appliances that I have been lucky enough to live in an age and a culture where such things exist.

But be careful - your feet are likely to get bigger once you have one...

(Old joke - Why do women have small feet? So they can get closer to the sink. Boom boom.)

If you are the dishwasher it's your decision to buy one or not. I was the dishwasher and a got bloody sick of it, if dp had said no to a dishwasher I would have laughed in his face and handed him the dish sponge and teatowel.

My dishwasher is the best thing in my kitchen, why the hell should I spend 30 mins doing the dishes after cooking for 2 hours when a dishwasher can do it?

Chulita, assuming the domestic chores are split along fairly traditional lines at your house, presumably your DH mows the lawns or does the car maintenance or whatever. Does he consult with you about a new lawnmower? (Are you allowed to say that encourages laziness?)

Old school guy eh? He can still wash dishes if he really is concerned about laziness, but since you really want one, and it won't cause him any harm, and will make his darling wife, the woman who bore the fruit of his loins, so happy, why wouldn't he? Once you have it, he will see how great they are. Especially when people are sick, they are better at sanitizing things than hand washing.

My mil never had one until about 10 years ago. Once she had one she wondered what took her so long. She was probably the last person we know to get a microwave, and was against fil getting a pc for about 10 years. He finally went ahead and got one.
www.dishwasherguru.com/
There are links along the left of that web site with good information about dishwashers.

bloodymoomoo if the hight is a problem, you could get a table top one.

lazy, eh?

So who was it "staring fixedly at the tv with a determined look." ?

Fair point puzzlesum, if fact tell him that you have a 'thing' about lawnmowers and replace whatever he got for himself with one of those push along ones (presuming that he doesn't have one already) because you fear he 'may get lazy' other wise

My dishwasher broke a while back (DH and I were devastated) and we couldn't afford to replace it. It was awful

Then my MIL rocked up with a new one for us

I love my MIL

i do most of the cooking and all the washing up. takes about 10-15 minutes i really do not see the need of having one.

"staring fixedly at the tv with a determined look."

That means he knows he has lost the arguement and is looking for a way to climb down without admitting he lost.

Now you just need to find a way to let him climb down and the dishwasher will be in by next week.

Trust me I am expert in this area.

Just buy one. If he says "I think dishwashers make people lazy" just say 2that's nice" and carry on regardless.

He is entirely free not to use it and continue washing up by hand when it's his turn, which it is 50% of the time.

And I too would prefer to be without my washing machine than my dishwasher, if I had to choose. I can take the laundry to the laundrette for a service wash. There are no laundrettes for plates and cutlery.

I love my dishwasher for two reasons. One because of all the extra hours it has allowed me to spend doing something else and two because we got it against my MIL's very specific advice about what a waste of space they were and how they weaken moral fibre. My DH is a total convert and it is now the key example of situations I can point to which show his mother isn't always right.

We have a slimline one, which is a good size for the 3 of us. We run it every evening after tea, and put them away before bed (generally).

DH and I had any number of minor tiffs when we were handwashing together...lol.

We had the same argument in our house when our dishwasher broke, i wanted it replaced asap. As i was off on maternity leave DP thought that it was my duty to do all housework including washing dishes, and we didn't need a dishwasher. I contested. He was told that i dont dictate to him what tools he uses in his job, and since housework was now my main job, the same courtesy was expected. He came home one day to a new dishwasher and there wasnae much he could do about it lol

My DH, too, at first couldn't understand that I said when we got a house that a dishwasher could fit in, that would be the first thing we would get. Then, after we got married, he moved in to my flat while I was trying to sell it and had to do the dishes. He had moved from living with his parents and so had hardly ever done the washing up.

When the first one broke we went straight out and bought another one. It's also much more hygienic for cleaning stuff as it cleans at a much higher temperature than one can possibly wash up in.

Sorry, Bluddy, I don't understand your argument . You said that there were always plates hanging around to be put in it, but aren't there always plates hanging around to be washed up? The difference is, putting them in the dishwasher takes a much shorter time than washing up - in our house, having to wait for the water to heat up, too. Anyway, each to their own. I wouldn't be without ours. It also saved my parents loads of arguments once they got one (arguments from my siblings - I had left home by the time they got one. They took a lot of convincing, but now wouldn't be without one, either).

My DB won't get one. I just don't understand it. When family goes to my parents or other siblings, stuff just gets chucked in the dishwasher. When we go to this DB's house, we all have to spend ages washing up. I hate it. He's so entrenched in not having one that he can't possibly back down now. Also, I have to say, things aren't as clean in their house, but that might just be them.

Pros for a Dishwasher:
The time you save not washing up can be used to do other things - Vacuuming/playing with the kids/sex
They save water over hand washing
You save energy because most dishwashers these days use cold fill and only heat the amount of water they need rather than you having to heat a tank full to fill the sink
Saving water and energy saves you money
Dishwashers wash at a lot higher temperature and with a lot stronger detergent than would be safe or comfortable to put your hand in so dishes come out cleaner and more hygenic. Dishwashing can replace sterilising once baby is over 6 months too which could save a lot of hassle if you use bottles/teethers.
Dirty dishes can go in the dishwasher rather than being out on the side waiting to be washed so your house looks tidier.
You want one.

There are a load of dishwasher myths proved wrong here too

Dishwasher cons:
They take up space - not an issue if you've got it.
They need to be loaded and unloaded - takes less time than the washing up/drying but can cause arguments in itself when other people do it 'wrong'.
You do still end up washing up the undishwasherable stuff - but you soon learn to check that every new thing can go in the dishwasher before you buy it :)
Tablets can be expensive - but the cost per wash is worth it for not having to wash IMO.

I love mine, as does my skin. Washing up liquid makes me hands so dry. I'll never look back and wish I'd spent less time playing with my children and more time washing up.

Found the water consumption figures... "A modern dishwasher needs on average 6.5L of water, while washing up the same amount of dishes by hand lead to 49L of water consumption"

Years ago my m&d offered us one for christmas - bf "no" me " well you do it all from here on in" dishwasher installed 2 days later

by the time the sink is full of hot water from the tap, I have already used far more water than my mashine uses for the whole wash (7l in our case). add to that the water used for rinsing...

Get the tablets when on offer & that saves loads of money. I can live without one (unlike my washing machine!!)but it's great to put the breakfast dishes in out the way before I go to work .

Carefully calculate the time you spend washing up by hand. I did this and found it was 8 hours a week ie a working day. I bought one the next day and now spend that time idling on mumsnet running a highly profitable internet business. But be warned most dishwashers can't handle baking pans, saucepans etc properly. Good for plates, cups/glasses and cutlery but not much else.

ebay. i had the same problem til I found one for approx £40.... life-changing!

I haven't a dishwasher and don't want one but, in your circumstances, I think he is being unreasonable.

When I married, I wanted a refrigerator because my mother had had one for years. He said that there was no point in having one and we didn't need one because his mother had never had one. The same thing was said about a washing machine (yes, it was many some years ago) but, I stood up for myself and got both the WM which was a twin tub and 6 months old reconditioned from our local department store that later became John Lewis. After we got the WM, I stood up for myself again when he came home from a rugby match with a full sack because it was his turn to launder the team's fifteen rugby shirts - covered in mud! I directed him to the launderette with them.

My DH was totally against having a dishwasher yet he never washed up himself and would leave it for me to do.
He returned home one evening to find me admiring my newly plumbed in, busily washing dishes dishwasher.
He tutted and grumbled but I bought it for me not for him.
I hope you can win him round OP!

Angelo :) !