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Original poster

To think someone saying your hair is exotic & wanting to touch it is not racist?

348 replies

BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 21:43

I'm wondering about this, I have tried to link the articale by Hannah Pool in Grazia but can't find it online.

It was an article on casual racism in the UK and she cited an incident where she had been in the womens toilets and a white women had said how beautiful and exotic her hair was and asked if she could touch it (whilkst reaching out and touching it), Hannah Pool said no you can't and teh women said she was rude.

I lived in Japan for years and had blonde hair back then. Lots of people saidhow exotic my hair was and people liked to touch it sometimes, it didn't bother me at all. My daughter is mixed race and has gorgeous very thick black hair and I love touching it as it is so different to my own.

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 16/11/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hiddenhome · 16/11/2011 21:46

When I was in hospital once there was an indian woman who had very beautiful long hair and we took it in turns to brush it for her. I don't think it's racist, nice hair is nice hair regardless of race Smile

CocoPopsAddict · 16/11/2011 21:50

Yes, I read that article, and thought that particular comment was the author scraping the bottom of the barrel for examples of so-called 'racism'. I can almost see her bulking her article out with it.

It is hair. People have asked to touch my hair before. Why would she would infer a racist attitude from a compliment?

MugOfGinDogOfOdd · 16/11/2011 21:51

I met up with some Japanese clients and had DSs with me - they are very pale with almost white curly hair and grey eyes. Needless to day there was much stroking of hair and photos taken (and much very kind talk of 'angels' - but i was too polite to say anything sarcastic Grin)

Just because something is about race - doesn't make it racial / racist - iyswim.

KatyMac · 16/11/2011 21:53

But when on holiday in Spain (when DD was about 3), DD's hair was touched so often she asked for a hat to cover it

Whether or not it was racist it was distressing for her

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 16/11/2011 21:53

I remember an African girl I knew who hated being described as Exotic because she said it made her feel like some animal in a zoo....it's a very personal thing...I'm not black so I can't comment.

I do remember being in Asia and a LOT of women stoppng us to look at DDs hair whch is very curly. They thought nothing of discussing it in their own language and touching it too! I didn't mind really...it was all other Mums and Grannies...they were admiring it (I think!)

They could have been saying "Look at the curly British Freak Child!" for all I know! Hmm Grin

supadupapupascupa · 16/11/2011 21:54

i don't see that it is racist, but as a woman with naturally curly hair I have had to put up with people I know at work and random strangers feel it is ok to compliment my hair and touch it without permission, and I absolutely HATE it. It is rude and an invasion of personal space. Why do people think it is ok to do this??? fine if you have a personal relationship with someone....

Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:00

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll - just because you're not black doesn't mean you can't comment on racism, racism happens to all races.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:01

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll - sorry I didn't mean that to sound rude!

OP posts:
sozzledchops · 16/11/2011 22:01

Oh dear, when I was little I asked the one black boy in our town if I could touch his Afro (I thought it looked like a microphone), he was happy to oblige. Had the same sort of thing in Asia with my fair, curly haired, blue eyed baby, was never offended though had to step in when some folk took it to far.

RonnieBirtles · 16/11/2011 22:03

It's incredibly rude to reach over and touch someone's hair. And trust me, it can come across as - if not racist - extremely ignorant. My BIL has dreadlocks and some white people seem to think it is public property.

ThePerfectFather · 16/11/2011 22:03

It's not racist but it's fucking weird to want to stroke the hair of someone you don't really know, and even weirder to then get offended when someone tells you not to touch their hair.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 16/11/2011 22:05

Booble didn't sound rude...s'ok....but I am not black so I dont understand the feelings related to being black. A black person has often experienced little episodes of racism right from birth and can be uber-tuned into negativity regarding being singled out.

Honeydragon · 16/11/2011 22:07

So if you said you have wonderful hair, would that be ok?

Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:08

I have never minded having my hair touched by someone who has very different hair wants to see what mine feels like, it really doesn't bother me at all but I understand some people prefer not to have other people in their personal space

OP posts:
CaroleService · 16/11/2011 22:10

She did ask if she could touch, though, according to the OP.

Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:10

Honeydragon - what do you mean Confused ?

OP posts:
Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:11

She asked but while asking reached out to touch it anyway before Hannah Pool could answer

OP posts:
giveitago · 16/11/2011 22:11

Really don't know. I've never really been that facinated with how other people look as we cover lots of looks in my family.

However, I insisted on going in my 'new romantic' garb to equatorial africa and I got lots of people in my face. I also remember being in the countryside in romania about 25 years ago with a girl with a mohican and she got the same kind of attention (most of it not very kind).

I guess, if you look fascinating to someone. If you can feel is non judgemental interest then so what (unless you hate attention). Is that casual racism? Dunno.

My drelative came with me to my dh's country. She got lots of questions which I thought were really fucking dumb and insulting (I think if a Brit had asked them). But, guess what, they'd have never met someone like her close up so they asked questions as to get more info. She didn't seem to care (although she raised an eyebrow). No big deal really.

perceptionreality · 16/11/2011 22:14

Using the word exotic in relation to a person makes me uneasy but I can't put my finger on why.

mankymink · 16/11/2011 22:14

I wouldn't think it racist but, even with the purest of intentions, it comes across as slightly patronising to be honest. It's one thing to say to someone "you have lovely hair" and leave it at that, but to make a big deal of touching it is a bit over the top.

giveitago · 16/11/2011 22:18

But why? I live in London - so everyone is here.

But the entire UK is not like this. Many entire countries are not like this.

I don't like the word 'exotic' because I think it can be patronising.

Ephiny · 16/11/2011 22:19

I don't know about racist, but it's definitely rude to touch someone (a stranger, I mean) uninvited like that, and usually best to refrain from personal comments about someone's appearance unless you're sure they'll be welcome!

Original poster
BoobleBeep · 16/11/2011 22:21

How is it patrionising & what does it mean to you? To me it implies something different & interesting.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 16/11/2011 22:23

Was the journalist offended by the word "exotic" or just that her hair was commented on? I haven't read the article so a bit Confused

I get offence at people wanting to touch your hair as everyone has differing degrees of personal space, so understand if that made he uncomfortable....but not sure that on it's own is casual racism?

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