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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DD to stay put and not do what her teacher has just told her?

241 replies

quackermoomoo · 16/11/2011 09:48

DD1 is in 6 form - they don't have a uniform, their rules just say that nothing lowcut or very short, beach attire etc

I'm spanish - my great GP all fought on Republican side in civil war, GP involved against Franco as were parents.

My Grandfather bought my DD a t-shirt for her birthday a few days ago. She really likes it (okay so it is winter so she is wearing a long sleeved black top under it) and went to school wearing it. It has a montif of Dolores Ibarruri on the side. (DD has just got very into our family history)

She has just phoned to say she has been told to go home. She is obviously shocked. The school send people home to get changed if clothes dont match the code. Head of 6 form told her that political symbols are againt school rules - I just checked no where in cotract she signed does it say that.

I have seen students walking to school past our house wearing tops with Che Guevara on and one person in DS1 class wore a Tory party top when the elction was on (he is at uni) and they were allowed to wear it.

She doesn't want to go home and change and I don't think she should have to.

I told her to stay put and if head says anything tell him to phone me. We shall wait and see

AIBU to not back up school?

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 16/11/2011 10:55

Good point, Karma.

I bet there is a teacher in school with a Che Guevara poster.

cory · 16/11/2011 12:33

The dangers of ad-hoc invocation of rules is that it is likely to become about what the teacher considers politically objectionable.

I would go in very sweetly and explain that your dd had missed this new rule- is it in the prospectus or has it been advertised through the newsletter. And that it seemed that quite a few other pupils had also missed it. But you do apologise and are assured that this rule will now be uniformly imposed (hard stare round the head's office).

AngelofTheLordiscomingDown · 16/11/2011 20:14

UniS

What's wrong wth a tee shirt with St George on it? It's not political. It's patriotic for this country.

Towndon · 16/11/2011 20:27

YABU. How do you know for sure that the other students weren't disciplined for wearing incorrect uniform?

ThePerfectFather · 16/11/2011 20:47

Towndon that's irrelevant. It doesn't matter to the OP if this is the first or tenth time as long as the school is wrong when it says it's in the "contract" or whatever you want to call it.

If the school dress policy doesn't say anything about wearing political symbols of any kind, then she can wear what she likes within the usual bounds of social norms. If she was wearing a Hitler t-shirt I can understand her being sent home but this is clearly different.

Also whoever in the thread said Chairman Mao was "an iconic figure" I think you need to do some reading. He killed millions of his own people with his idiocy. If I was a teacher and someone walked in wearing a Mao t-shirt I would be stunned.

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:01

if your DD was at work - would she be able to wear a t-shirt with a political figure on it? There would be a large number of organisations that would state that this is a no no.

At the 6th form in the school I work in, students are not even allowed to wear t-shirts, never mind anything slightly political.

Your DD has decided to be educated at this school and as such agree to their rules which includes dress code....

UniS · 16/11/2011 21:05

well angel - that particular T- shirt is worn and sold by some extreme right wing nationalists... Its promoted by the British National Party, the English Defence Leauge, The National Front and others.

My son likes St George, but I'd not let him go to school in that shirt. It'd be asking for a Thump from the Communist in the 6th form

Ephiny · 16/11/2011 21:08

It does seem a bit of a daft rule, I can't see any harm or inappropriateness in a t-shirt like that.

But you have to ask if it's worth making a fuss and disrupting her school day, maybe the most sensible and mature thing would be if she just takes it off (assuming the long-sleeved top underneath is decent to wear on its own!) and gets on with her classes.

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:08

I could wear a T-shirt with a political figure on it, at my work, since you ask.

Your DD sounds lovely. And she isn't breaking any school rules, which personally I think are pretty stupid school rules in any case but then I am a Bad Person who is not great on that sort of school rule in the first place.

I also think that it is marvellous to see that kind of spirit and political energy in young people.

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:10

I hardly think a T-shirt with 'They shall not pass', ie 'I am not really terribly partial to fascism' is outrageous, is it?

StrandedBear · 16/11/2011 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:18

I couldn't though motherinferior as not the majority of workers.....

Why are dress rules stupid? There are dress rules in every walk of life/job/role and these are just a part of life; if the op's daughter wants to wear t-shirts with a political message then she needs to attend a 6th form centre that allows this, rather than waste the time of the staff at the school she attends and thus deprive other students of the staff time and attention just for the sake of a t-shirt

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:29

Not every walk of life/job/role. And tbh, political zeal and the wish to improve the world on the part of 17 year olds is to be quite madly encouraged. They've been bequeathed a fairly shit deal. Rather than capitulate to blank-eyed celeb-worshipping and unquestioning acquiescence in that deal, taking up the spirit of La Pasionara is a Good Thing.

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:30

Time enough to observe dress rules if and when she gets a job with dress rules. Which may be never.

ravenAK · 16/11/2011 21:32

YANBU.

I think your dd should politely refuse to be sent home unless & until she's shown the school rule she's breaking. She's in VI form, so she's there on a voluntary, not statutory basis; it's a different student/school/parent relationship, & ideally she should be the one sticking to her guns rather than you going in to 'sort it'.

Sounds like one teacher being a bit crackers whilst the rest of the staffroom quietly 'wtf?' & the head finds an urgent meeting to be in - it happens!

One of my colleagues once wanted to call SS because a kid had drawn this www.layoutsparks.com/1/134138/him-purple-heartagram-black.html on his planner...it took quite some time to get through to her that it was a sign of dreadful musical taste rather than Satanic activity...

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:34

can you tell me then the life/job/roles does not dictate a dress code because the vast majority do. What would you say to someone who is being educated in the same class as the op's DD who really doesn't agree with Dolores Ibarruri's vision/politics?

Would you hold the same view if someone said that they wanted to wear the klu klux klan clothing or wore a t-shirt denouncing a particular religion?

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:39

If they were endorsing violence - and I'm, yes, assuming that a pic of La Pasionara isn't - I would object.

The girl is a sixth-former. If she goes on to become a university student, she won't have to stick to a 'dress code' then. If she takes up a job like mine - I am a journalist - her dress code will, I assure you, be pretty damn lax. Similarly if she becomes an academic. If she goes off and works in the whole social care sector - with homeless people, or vulnerable young people - she won't have a dress code (OK, a business suit would probably look a bit weird). Those are the jobs I know about off the top of my head....

misshappinessandmissflower · 16/11/2011 21:48

I really don't see how La Passionara is a politically divisive figure in Britain in 2011. I am amazed that anyone knew who she was.

Even if the 6 form does have a ban on political T shirts, I think it is really pushing it to apply it to one with her image on it. If you do decide to take it further, I think you should ask them exactly how they define political. Surely its got to be to do with potential controversy, causing offence.

Some schools have strict dress codes that emulate the workplace. This one obviously doesn't. I really cannot see how this T shirt could cause offence and I think you should encourage your daughter to stand up for her beliefs and support her.

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:49

teaching, healthcare, office work, legal profession, retail, service sector etc etc (in fact, the majority of professions)

Thumbwitch · 16/11/2011 21:53

The point is here, cricketballs, that it is NOT in the school rules - the teacher was lying for their own ends. So there is no real reason why the DD should take the t-shirt off UNLESS it is particularly offending someone for some valid reason.

My line of work, which was professional, had no dress code other than "clean and covered up" - because we worked in labs and wore lab coats.
I guess even the KKK robes (but not the hoods) would have been ok there - the hoods would have been a fire hazard of course. [tongue WEDGED in cheek].

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:54

also, it is not considered acceptable to discuss political views etc with people whom you are working with in terms of helping/educating therefore if the you are working in the social care sector, it is not acceptable to wear anything with a political message (even if it is just a portrait)

motherinferior · 16/11/2011 21:54

So lots of workplaces have an overall dress code. In some of them, that kind of T-shirt would be perfectly OK (like the jobs I've outlined);in others not. It's not relevant to a 17 year old, who is at the moment in the joyous position of quite explicitly not having to conform to some polyester-clad 'business attire' code of the type espoused by far too many sixth forms. At her school, the OP has made clear, 'they don't have a uniform, their rules just say that nothing lowcut or very short, beach attire etc'.

This is neither 'very short' nor 'beach attire'. It is a T-shirt, with the pic of a woman who opposed fascism. She hasn't broken school rules, and shouldn't be penalised by someone who's made it up on the spur of the moment. Quite apart from having a bit of fire in her belly about the world's injustices (and didn't we all, at 17?)

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 21:56

why would teacher lie about a t-shirt not being unacceptable within the rules for their own ends - if so, then the teacher must have felt the t-shirt to have offended them in some way; therefore the t-shirt is not acceptable within a school enviroment

cricketballs · 16/11/2011 22:02

but what about the students who support fascism? Whilst I don't agree with their views, shouldn't they be acknowledged and supported (or have we become a fascist society in that we don't allow others with a different point of view to have a voice) and thus not force one person's view on everyone else in the school?

joanofarchitrave · 16/11/2011 22:04

No I don't think you should get involved - presumably she is at least 16?

I still remember the burning resentment I felt at being told to remove a Private Eye cover from my locker in the sixth form. And the bitter passion with which I campaigned for us to be able to use the single school payphone at break without having to ask a staff member (different times Grin). If she's into politics, she's got a ready-made campaign to organise right there. What better way for her to develop numerous transferable skills in debate, organisation, people management and public speaking?