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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok, my fault or his fault or just a stupid mistake?

101 replies

moonface73 · 14/11/2011 21:37

So, sat am getting kids ready for gymnastics, dh in bed (he lies in and I get dd ready and then he gets up and has ds) I come in and pick his work trousers off the chair and say 'are these for the wash?' he says 'yes' and watches me take the belt off and carry them off with a big pile of washing. I come back a couple of hours later and dh glares at me saying his iPhone was in his trousers and has gone thru the wash, he was pretty ok about it sat and sun, trying to dry it out but being normal and now tonight I've come back from the gym and said 'oh, my mum has an old phone you can borrow while we work out what to do aboutyours' to which he got really arsey saying it was 100percent my fault and that he didn't want some crappy old phone of my mums. My fault or his or just a stupid mistake?

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 15/11/2011 08:35

Doesn't matter whose 'fault' it is (although if he can't remember to check his own pockets that's his problem to work on), but he needs to grow up. Don't offer your mum's phone again and don't help him work out what to do about a new one.

SirSugar · 15/11/2011 08:54

His fault

DDs ipod went into a full cycle top loading industrial sized washing machine whilst we were on holiday. Left it to dry out for couple of weeks, works fine now

Honeydragon · 15/11/2011 08:58

Seeker she's a stay at home mum not wife. Laundry services expect you to empty your own pockets.

allhailtheaubergine · 15/11/2011 08:59

No one's fault. Just a mistake. In my house it would go like this...
"Really sorry I washed your phone"
"Don't be silly! I should have remembered it was there!"
~Fin~

whoopeecushion · 15/11/2011 09:05

Both at fault.

There should be a double checking system:

  1. Person who takes off clothing to empty the pockets
  2. Person who loads machine to re check pockets

The reason we have this double checking system is because we have previously had washing accidents.

Implement my system!

samandi · 15/11/2011 09:05

Both of your faults and a stupid mistake. I always check pockets before I put anything in the laundry bin and again before I put anything in the wash. He's certainly wrong that it's 100% your fault.

notevenamousie · 15/11/2011 09:08

Yes, just one of those things. When my mum was in the hospice, they accidentally washed her phone. Never crossed any of our minds to be annoyed about it, they apologised, we said not to worry and thank you for washing the clothes, one of those things. Same thing if it happens at home.

Original poster
moonface73 · 15/11/2011 09:10

aubergine - thats totally how i expected it to go!!

for the record, am not a sahm, my kids are at school and I work four days a week. I just figured that we both do stuff for each other all the time and sometimes there will be cock ups and they arent anyones fault really, just mistakes.

OP posts:
Shodan · 15/11/2011 09:12

LeotheLateBloomer - I know that. But the OP said that " He never ever takes his own belt off his trousers tho and shoves them in the basket with the belt on so the belt being on should not be used as evidence!" If he can't be bothered to take the belt off even when he puts the trews in the basket, then he's a lazy so-and-so, imo, and should suck it up.

Maybe he'll learn to take the belt off AND empty his pockets in future.

I just can't imagine my DH even thinking for a nano-second that this would be my fault, let alone having a little hissy fit about it. Seeker is right about it not being a favour to do the laundry if you're a SAHM, I reckon- the favour in this instance was the OP thinking ahead for her DH, taking the trousers off the chair instead of ignoring them until they were in the laundry basket and putting them in the wash.

Lizzylou · 15/11/2011 09:13

Moonface, even if you were a SAHM, I think Aubergine's scenario still applies.
Perhaps if you didn't work and the same mistake happened you could add in some curtseying and forelock tugging though?? Hmm

Shodan · 15/11/2011 09:14

Oops. x-posted. Not a SAHM.

Then he should maybe be doing his own laundry- belts, phones and all.

QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 09:21

Your fault.
The trousers were on the chair, not in the laundry basket.
You did not check his pockets.
He was asleep, so not clearheaded enough to think about pockets.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 15/11/2011 09:59

Sorry Shodan, missed that bit Blush

diddl · 15/11/2011 10:02

"The trousers were on the chair, not in the laundry basket."

I agree with that-but I wouldn´t expect anything of value to be left in pockets tbh.

I can´t be the only one with a husband who always empties pockets when he gets in?

QuintessentialShadow · 15/11/2011 10:09

Mine does, but I always check pockets before I put anything in the wash, I have learnt the hard way, too!

(I have also washed a mobile phone, my sons. Nobodys fault but mine)

HellonHeels · 15/11/2011 11:26

He sounds very selfish - putting his trousers in the laundry bin with the belt left in! Why is it your job to wash his clothes, remove the belt, check for phones when you both work and presumably have equal family responsibilities?

It won't resolve your current problem, but I'd leave him to do his own washing in future.

PigletJohn · 15/11/2011 13:26

HellonHeels Tue
"He sounds very selfish - putting his trousers in the laundry bin with the belt left in"

You've got that wrong, Hellon.

Original poster
moonface73 · 15/11/2011 21:21

unbelievable!!! dh has just taken phone out of its warm rice and its gone and switched on!! cannot believe it!! thanks for all your advice, i assure you all that from now on both the clothes wearer and clothes washer will be checking pockets...

OP posts:
peeriebear · 15/11/2011 21:26

All's well that ends well then :) The rule in our house is if you've surrendered it to the eash, you are expected to have emptied the pockets yourself. I don't check pockets (and any loose change in the drum post-cycle is mine muahaha)

peeriebear · 15/11/2011 21:26

to the WASH not the eash!!

PigletJohn · 15/11/2011 22:02

hooray hooray

hope he stops grumbling now.

Original poster
moonface73 · 16/11/2011 07:29

Yes the grumbling has stopped! He is all nice and friendly again...!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAFirework · 16/11/2011 07:52

Thank god a happy ending. I am Blush to say I can understand why your dh was so upset, I live my iPhone and this thread has made me hold it a little tighter Grin

Trills · 16/11/2011 08:29

Glad it got fixed. :)

He was BU to be so grumpy about something that was a mistake (especially since it's at least as much his mistake as yours).

I am also one of those confused by how you didn't notice the weight though.

Methe · 16/11/2011 08:38

Bit of both really. He should have taken it out himself and put his own bloody trousers in the wash but thh you should have checked the pockets before you put it in the machine.. Everyone checks pockets don't they?