Ok, my fault or his fault or just a stupid mistake?

[moonface73]

So, sat am getting kids ready for gymnastics, dh in bed (he lies in and I get dd ready and then he gets up and has ds) I come in and pick his work trousers off the chair and say 'are these for the wash?' he says 'yes' and watches me take the belt off and carry them off with a big pile of washing. I come back a couple of hours later and dh glares at me saying his iPhone was in his trousers and has gone thru the wash, he was pretty ok about it sat and sun, trying to dry it out but being normal and now tonight I've come back from the gym and said 'oh, my mum has an old phone you can borrow while we work out what to do aboutyours' to which he got really arsey saying it was 100percent my fault and that he didn't want some crappy old phone of my mums. My fault or his or just a stupid mistake?

On the plus side - my attitude to this will hopefully mean that my DIL's will never have to put up with huffiness from my DS's if my DS's leave something in their pockets and it gets washed - it will be ingrained into them that it is THEIR responsibility to check theirn pockets when they remove their clothing!

I suppose it probably is his fault. But who wants to live like that?

I don't want to live like that at all! I thought we had both agreed it was a stupid mistake on both parts and that he would get a cheap phone to manage til January, its just to tonight that he has been so stroppy and said it is 100% my fault.

"fault"

If dh did this to me I'd be really pissed off with him for at least a couple of days. It's definitely your fault. Firstly for bugging him when he's having a lie in, and secondly for not checking pockets when he quite clearly had not put the trousers to be washed and was not yet going to have checked them himself.

ech. In your position I'd want to say it's not my fault but truth is I know my husband always checks the pockets of trousers - his and mine - before he puts things in the wash, and I never do. I've killed my own phone that way before.

His fault for leaving his trousers lying about. They should either have been in the cupboard or in the laundry basket. Completely unacceptable.

This should be covered by insurance.

If he'd put the trousers in the laundry basket, he should have checked them himself. But they weren't in the laundry basket, they were on the chair, so no reason to have emptied them already.

The OP should have checked the pockets. He might not have remembered it was in there.

I do all the laundry at home. My rule is I don't check the pockets of things people have placed in the laundry basket. On that basis I reckon it's your fault. He answered your question. BUT Ffs it's an accident. One of those things. If you're the only one who ever loads the damn machine are you always going to get grief as this will always happen from time to time. He's naturally upset. Give him time to get over it.

His fault. He shouldn't have left them on the floor and shouldn't have left his phone in the pocket.

Can't stand this "not my job" attitude. If we live together as a family we're nice to each other and help each other and do each other favours. Of course you check the pockets before you chuck stuff in the machine- yes the other person should have but they mightnhave forgotten. Cut each other some slack, people!

Well, given they weren't actually in the laundry basket, that does throw a spanner in the works...

Washing laundry is one of THE most mundane tasks when you take into account sorting colours, spraying stains, doing the actual load, taking it out, hanging it out to dry, bringing it in, folding it up and distributing it. No way am I going through every bloody pocket before I put it in the wash. No way.

But - as his trousers weren't actually in the basket, this does throw a certain amount of ambiguity into it. It's definitely not your fault, but it's probably not his either, under these specific circumstances. So - stupid mistake and he now needs to get over himself and stop blaming you. Or forever more do his own laundry.

Sorry seeker, no. Doing the whole laundry shiz is the favour - no need to mollycoddle with pocket-checking as well. I'd top myself if I had to add that into the whole malarky, but then I do all the laundry as I'm a SAHM...

Well he hadn´t put the trousers in the wash, so not his fault in that way.

But I´m surprised that he leaves everything in his pockets when he takes his trousers off tbh.

My husbands phone is never in his trouser pocket & he takes his wallet out of his pocket as soon as he gets in.

If you put something in the wash, the pockets need checking.
Who usually does the laundry, and does that person check the pockets before putting stuff in the machine?
If it's normally you and you check pockets, then he was NBU to expect you to do it this time. If you always assume that dirty clothes have been checked by the owner, then he IBU.

It's just one of those stupid things isn't it?

If I was in your DH's position I would be furious. Mostly with myself for not remembering that the phone was in my pocket but also mildy annoyed with you for not checking. Having been gutted when I left my iphone in a cab recently I can feel your DH's pain.

I would also always check the pockets of anything I just scooped off the floor.

He lay in bed and watched you gather the trousers (and phone) in the wash. Yes, with hindsight you should have checked the pockets but did he not notice what you were doing either?

Does your DH check pockets when he does the washing?

Do you get a lie in?

He is being childish over an accident which will be soon sorted anyway if his contract is up in January.

Oh and I agree seeker this "not my job" attitude seems so unecessarily aggressive.

Both at fault. At the end of the day this sort of thing comes out of family funds on the whole, so getting all huffy about "why should I check pockets" just seems childish to me. We both do our own before putting in the wash basket, but whoever puts the wash on does a really quick check for weight etc as shoving in the machine. It takes two tics and avoids costly mistakes.

He usually shoves the trousers in the laundry bin without taking the belt off first? Cheeky bugger.

On that basis, I'd say you were doing him a favour by taking them from the chair (thereby saving him the onerous task of putting them in the laundry bin), and since he watched you remove the belt he should have mentioned the phone then. Add that to him being narky yesterday and I'd say definitely his fault.

Institute a new rule forthwith. Clothes must be put in the laundry bin ready for washing- that means no belts on and no stuff in pockets. And get him to start emptying his pockets onto the chest of drawers or something at the end of each day.

It was a stupid mistake on both parts. It could just have easily been one of you tripping over the trousers on the floor and treading on it.

I think keeping. £400 piece of equipment in your trousers when you take them off is pretty irresponsible - why didnt he feel the weight when he took them off and remove it?

My friends son's phone got full of water (it was a brand new htc) it was in the screen and everywhere we put it in rice in a bowl for about a week and it was fine, then he lost it!

Stupid mistake

Actually, if you're a SAHM- doing the laundry isn't doing a favour.

Unless you also consider that whoever works outside the home is doing you a favour by paying the mortgage!

Shodan the trousers weren't in the laundry basket which is, in this case, a fairly key point.