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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok, my fault or his fault or just a stupid mistake?

101 replies

moonface73 · 14/11/2011 21:37

So, sat am getting kids ready for gymnastics, dh in bed (he lies in and I get dd ready and then he gets up and has ds) I come in and pick his work trousers off the chair and say 'are these for the wash?' he says 'yes' and watches me take the belt off and carry them off with a big pile of washing. I come back a couple of hours later and dh glares at me saying his iPhone was in his trousers and has gone thru the wash, he was pretty ok about it sat and sun, trying to dry it out but being normal and now tonight I've come back from the gym and said 'oh, my mum has an old phone you can borrow while we work out what to do aboutyours' to which he got really arsey saying it was 100percent my fault and that he didn't want some crappy old phone of my mums. My fault or his or just a stupid mistake?

OP posts:
Dirtydishesmakemesad · 14/11/2011 22:08

I did the same with my dhs phone a while ago, i dont remember much hassle about it other than him googling how to dry it out (it did dry out after a while and work again), it was a mistake just one of those things. I wouldnt be livid with him and he wasnt with me. I think your dh is overreacting a tad to an accident tbh.

seeker · 14/11/2011 22:14

"Why should she check the pockets of stuff that's for the wash?"

Because that's what I would expect dp or dd to do for me before they chucked my stuff in the washing machine.

WhoremoaneeGrainger · 14/11/2011 22:16

Just asked my DH what he thought, and guess what he said?

His fault for not telling you and your fault for not checking the pockets.

My response? Fuck off was it her fault!

He is being unreasonable. He should empty his pockets!

beesknobblyknees · 14/11/2011 22:16

I washed my DH's ipod and buggered it up. I felt really bad as I usually do check the pockets unless I'm in a rush (which I was). DH felt he was partly responsible as I'd rung him that morning and he'd apparently meant to tell me to watch out for his ipod in his pockets if washing. So he knew it was there and had meant to take it out anyway. I think though it is the washer's fault predominantly, unless you have an established house rule about empty pockets for the wash. I don't however feel responsible enough to buy him a new ipod!

Reckon seeing as its only jan til contract renewal your DH is being a mite OTT and unforgiving.

mynewpassion · 14/11/2011 22:19

"Why should she check the pockets of stuff that's for the wash?"

Because what falls out of pockets could clog up the washer and cost money for repairs or to buy a new one.

Taking a few minutes to check pockets or be out of pocket for a service call and having to drag your clothes to the nearest laundromat?

Original poster
moonface73 · 14/11/2011 22:21

beesknobblyknees I thought you meant the washing mahine's fault for a minute! Maybe we should agree to blame the machine! I do feel it's both our fault but am sure I wouldnt be so stroppy if it was the other way round

OP posts:
Kayano · 14/11/2011 22:23

Your fault.

Agree you took the belt off so clearly he had not put them for the wash at that time.

Whoever puts the wash on in this house checks pockets and keeps
Any money etc lol

jasper · 14/11/2011 22:23

In our house the person loading the machine is responsible for the final once over of all pockets.

corriefan · 14/11/2011 22:24

I put my own iPhone in the wash and went to the apple store shame faced and had to wait 2 hours for them to see me. Because I was honest, embarrassed and had waited so long they waived the replacement charge (which incidentally wasn't that much anyway). It's an old model but worth a try going to see them.

upahill · 14/11/2011 22:25

Why should she check the pockets of stuff that's for the wash. I don't do that in this house. If you've left anything in there - tough!

I would have thought it would be sensible to do a final check no matter whose pockets they are so you don't knacker up the washing machine tbh.

EllenandBump · 14/11/2011 22:28

I was really stroppy when my husband got my phone stolen on a night out, but i had only had it three weeks and it was the first really nice thing i got myself in about 3 years, so for him to be so drunk he cant remember what happened to it did peep me off. Never lend your phone to your other haf, especially if they plan to get drunk. If it was a machines fault, then its a males fault because its mainly men that make the washing machines and fit them.

Original poster
moonface73 · 14/11/2011 22:29

Clearly we need a pocket checking rule! He never ever takes his own belt off his trousers tho and shoves them in the basket with the belt on so the belt being on should not be used as evidence! He so stroppy, as I went upstairs he said where are you going? Off to put my iPad in the dishwasher?!

OP posts:
Eclairwaldorf · 14/11/2011 22:33

Surely it's worth a quick check in pockets for tissues if nothing else ?! I
Also think it was an accident, bit of both to blame fwiw.

Xmasbaby11 · 14/11/2011 22:35

Your fault IMO. It's normal to check pockets before doing a wash - although mostly I'd be looking for a tissue not a mobile!

CheeseandGherkins · 14/11/2011 22:40

His fault. I never check pockets, people should check their own before putting them in the wash. Why is it her responsibility if the machine gets knackered/things get put in the wash? Each person should take the time to check their own pockets rather than one person checking all of them.

Each to their own but that's the way it's done here.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 14/11/2011 22:47

His fault. He sat there and watched you gather uk his clothes for the washing. That might have been a good time to mention the phone.

beesknobblyknees · 14/11/2011 22:48

Ha...no the washer-persons fault - although maybe the washing machine should really be blamed- seeing as some phone's and ipod's survive the watery excesses and live to tell the tale - so in fact it IS my washing machine's fault for being too rough and watery. Not sure that argument is ever going to cut the mustard with my DH though.

Moodykat · 14/11/2011 22:53

His fault. I dropped my iPhone down the toilet. Put it in a tuppaware full of rice for a week then charged it up and bingo! Worth a go as others have said!

DioneTheDiabolist · 14/11/2011 22:56

His fault. He said they were for the wash. He is over the age of 12.

He's lucky you removed the belt.

PigletJohn · 14/11/2011 22:56

I'm used to checking pockets as I've had a lifetime of trousers with pockets. DP not so much. You only need to pat them. Work clothes I usually pull the pockets inside out. It's rare for anything other than tissues (which have no weight and you can't feel) to go through the washer though. I once had an expensive (waterproof) watch go through and it lived to tell the tale as it had a screw-down crown.

I don't like stuff in my pockets and usually empty them when I get in. This gives DP the opportunity to complain when I can't find my keys.

cees · 14/11/2011 22:58

His trousers, his phone, his fault. He is not a child and you are not his Mammy.

eurochick · 14/11/2011 22:59

Hmm if they were in the washing basket without being checked then I would say his fault. But as you grabbed them off the chair when they had a belt on and so clearly weren't in the wash, I'm going for 50/50.

slavetofilofax · 14/11/2011 23:02

Sorry, but I would feel very guilty if I'd done this to my DH, even though I can see how it would be partly his fault. I would apologise, and do much more than offering him an old phone of my Mums.

And if he had done that to my iphone, I would be expecting him to get me a new one pronto if it couldn't be fixed. And if that meant DH had to go without some of his little treats to pay for it, then so be it. I certainly wouldn't swop my iphone for some crappy old one until January.

But this is what phone insurance is for. Do you know if he had any? If not, you can point out that he should have done.

CardyMow · 14/11/2011 23:08

Totally his fault. If my 7yo DS2 who has SN knows he has to empty his pockets WHEN HE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF, (so that if he drops them on the floor and I shove them in the machine, nothing gets washed), my 9yo DS1 can do it, and my 13yo DD who has asd and lots of other SN can manage it - then HIBtotallyU blaming you.

Sorry, but if dc with SN know better - and know not to moan at ME if they have left something important in their pockets - then a grown adult with no SN definately knows better, and is just trying to avoid having to admit his own mistake.

Not my job to check the pockets of anyone over 5yo IMO.

trixymalixy · 14/11/2011 23:10

Mostly just a mistake IMO. If they'd been in the washing basket I'd have said 100% his fault, but as you picked them off the chair you should have checked.