to think that 25 isn't that young?

[wannaBe]

yes, thread inspired by a thread, but I've seen it a lot on here:

"she's only 25, give her a break." "he's only 20 something, it's still very young..." etc etc as if somehow one doesn't stop being a child or being able to take responsibility for one's actions until one is at least 30..

At 25 my parents had two kids, a mortgage and had emigraded half way across the world.

At 25 most people are holding down responsible jobs/many have mortgages/are in long-term relationships, etc.

And while 25 is young in comparison to 40, really, by 25 one should be mature enough to act responsibly, and 25 certainly shouldn't be an excuse-all age - eighteen maybe, but not 25...

I'm 26, married, mortgaged with two kids and I feel fucking ancient. Not to mention knackered.

When I was 21 I went to Greece as an Au Pair.
At 23 I worked in a Kibbutz in Israel.
I spent 6 months in India at 25 Having earned enough money working in a bar in Amsterdam.
I don't regret having fun and travelling in my twenties, I'm 55 with a teenage son.
He's clever and want's to go to university. His choice.
Each to their own, but a mortgage would have suffocated me in my 20s.

At 25 I was enjoying my job, getting ready to study and travel abroard, had a brilliant time - sort of went on until my early 30s and I don't regret it. I would be really disappointed if my kids had a mortgage, married and kids at 25. They have plenty of time for that.

Bucaneve-trust me it's not just the young who feel stymied.I still can't get a mortgage!(34)
Maybe the difference is that at your age I never even considered whether I would own a home or even have a real career. In fact the thought of settling down was alien to me.
Agree with LadyBeagle Eyes just from a personal perspective-I have lived in many cities, a few countries, had affairs with some mad, bad and dangerous to know men, and done a million jobs. I may not be sorted financially but my twenties gave me a perspective on the world, and on where I stood in it that is seeing me thru my thirties. And I dont feel I missed out on much!

I think I grew up backwards... At 25 I was living in my own home, mortgage etc. I was single, having just ended a LTR, but living a pretty staid, grown-up life.

Now in my mid-30s: I houseshare, I go out every weekend & a couple of nights a week. When I'm not out socialising during the week, I'm in the gym. I think I only have one night a week at home, on average. It's brilliant! I think of all the quiet nights in I had in my mid-20s, and wonder who that person was!

I don't feel like I've missed out on anything even though I have a baby at 25. I've been to uni, I've travelled around the world and done a ski season. I don't feel like my life is massively different to the lives of my childless friends. I still go out occasionally and I went to for a girly weekend to Paris a few weeks ago.

Aislingora

That's rather young to act like teens. My friends and I are still teenage mentally. Our bodies try to (and can still) jive.

25 is a 'mature' young. In your minds, you will always be 25 - or even younger.

It's bodies that tell yo when to stop!

I had my first child at 25, and hope my children do the same (although their choice, obviously).

My niece is 16 and looking at careers, and SIL has said to her that she should try and have a child by 25 at the latest.

Well, it's not middle aged. So I'd say it still counts as young.

I know sensible 20-something and 40-somethings I wouldn't trust with a houseplant.

YANBU.

I left home at 16 and moved in with DH.
Married at 21.
9 year old DSD moved in when I was 23.
Had dd1 at 24.

I always felt older when I was in my 20s. Now I'm in my 30s I feel younger, and sometimes I forget how old I am. Then I realise I'm 33 and think shit where did the time go.

i am 25 and i am young, yes i have 2 children but i wouldn't class myself as a typical parent...... i am just as bad as the kids, infact having them has realised my inner child..but i am responsible iygwim.

well i wouldnt say 25 is young and most people at that age are making their way through life on their own.
but im 24 and a week ago i was made homeless and was dumped by the man i had been with for nearly 7 yrs. being a single mum to a 2 year old and homeless at 24... gutted to be in this situation so young.

havnt read whole thread but agree with you completely, dps parents still refer to us as the KIDS...really frustrates me, we are 22 have been living on our own for 5years, both had steady jobs, untill i had dd aged 3, went back working part time at night and have just finished work again as ds is due in 4weeks.
Dp is a fully qualified carpet layer, we are planing our wedding and saving to buy our first house, yet they keep referring to us as kids
! of those things that isn't a big deal but really gets under my skin lol

I am 59 and some 25 year olds seem so, well, old. Life is much too serious to be taken seriously!

Ha! 25 is nothing. My SIL (50s) is forever trying to make it seem as though I'm still wet behind the ears despite being in my late 30s. Think she has age-related insecurities...

Of course 25 is young, but it is still an adult old enough to be responsible for themselves and their lives.

Molly - DH happily does, but I'm still breastfeeding so overnights away aren't possible, yet. :)

I know what you're saying, and no, life certainly doesn't have to end when you get married, but it has been a big change for me, and feels really noticeable right now, as I'm in the thick of it with two very young toddlers and no family help.

I do maintain though, that I will never be convinced that settling down so young is desirable. You have the rest of your life to do the family thing, and only a few short years to be young and carefree. I can't relate to people who wish that away, and hurry on the domesticated years. It's the rest of your life and you only get one life.

I'm not excusing idiotic, immature 25 year olds, trying to get back to the theme of the thread; I just really don't think being mortgaged and married in your early 20s is something to be lauded.

LadyBeagleEyes and Sloobreeus - you speak my brains. Like your style.

I am 25. No mortgage and kids yet, spent the last few years working abroad. Currently a student again but training to be a solicitor, so a pretty responsible job... I do feel quite young but not in the immature, irresponsible way meant by the OP.

I hate how smug people get on threads like this.

"Oh, well I had a mortgage, seven kids, six cats and five dogs when I was 20. Responsibility makes you grow up."

boast, boast, boast.

I didn't have a mortgage and kids at that age because I didn't WANT the responsibility. You can choose, you know.

A lot of the posters here are in their twenties, and are keen to highlight the ""adult" things they are doing. It is totally normal to want to reach a fully grown up position and be acknowledged as such.

This thread hasn't been much posted on by people my age (old enough to be the mother of people in their twenties). To us, that age is very young indeed. There is still so much of life ahead.

Now I'm 40, 20 seems very young, but when I was 20 I felt ever so mature. My parents of course thought I was young and vulnerable. I think we were probably both right.

I know that your brain cells start to die once you hit 18 or so, but then there are other things you haven't learned yet, like perceptions of risk and immortality (one of the reasons why young drivers have accidents, or students take up smoking). So in some ways being young can be an explanation for behaviour. Mostly I think it's a bit bogus, as so much is down to situation, personality and experiences.

Not sure why worldy possessions of the ability to procreate are being cited as measures of maturity though. Personally I am rather enjoying being less responsible now my children are less dependent, and I am very much looking forward to living it up a bit, going on adventures etc when they leave home.