to think that 25 isn't that young?

[wannaBe]

yes, thread inspired by a thread, but I've seen it a lot on here:

"she's only 25, give her a break." "he's only 20 something, it's still very young..." etc etc as if somehow one doesn't stop being a child or being able to take responsibility for one's actions until one is at least 30..

At 25 my parents had two kids, a mortgage and had emigraded half way across the world.

At 25 most people are holding down responsible jobs/many have mortgages/are in long-term relationships, etc.

And while 25 is young in comparison to 40, really, by 25 one should be mature enough to act responsibly, and 25 certainly shouldn't be an excuse-all age - eighteen maybe, but not 25...

I think a lot of folk who are posting are a bit out of touch with social change.
Average age for first child - around 31
Average age to by first house - same age
High percentage of 25 year olds are still living at home

I'm old enough that I could easily be a 25 year old's mother. So yes, it does seem young.

I think it is a bit of both, and depends on the person.

I remember being livid when I had DD (I was 21) because the children's centre kept badgering me to join the young parents group. I was coping totally fine and was really annoyed that they kept making an issue of my age when I had absolutely zero of the problems say a teenage parent has to deal with.

I dont know any 25 year olds living at home but I still dont think that makes them mature and I am only 27. I think it depends on your area and definitely the kids thing depends on your area here people would see it as more commonplace having your first kid at 20 then 35/40.

25 is definitely still young. Absolutely.

There is no way I am the mother of a person who is not young

To be fair quite a lot of my academic year at school are married now, and it being a wealthy area, own their own houses off the back of the bank of mum and dad. I'm sure some of them are still immature pissants.

The only people I know that still live at home are either still doing post-grad study or can't get a job. I know very few people who haven't had to move away from their parents area in order to find a job + so most rent in flatshares.

I was young when I was 25, not naive exactly, more in the sense that my life revolved around fun. I went clubbing all weekend, every weekend, wanted to be out socialising all the time, didn't have as much of a sense of responsibility like I do now at 37. (Fyi I don?t have children - out of choice).

I had a mortgage and had been in a relationship for seven years by the time I was 25, but the way I think and behave now is so completely different. My mindset is just on another planet to my 25 year old fun obsessed self. I still like enjoying myself, very occasionally too much, but now I consider the consequences of, for example, drinking on a Thursday night and how I might feel trying to get through work on a Friday. When I was 25 I would have just have taken the day off. I would just not do that now. I was so quick to call in sick, whereas my 37 year old self hasn?t had a day off in years, even though I?ve been sick enough to (severe vertigo for one year, stupidly dragged my dizzy self into work every day).

My work ethic is just so different now. I'm way more thoughtful. My 25 yr old self would call me a ?dork?.

At 25 I had 3 children a mortgage and a rental property.

I am an old fogie though and I am only 28.

KalSkirata, my DS2 is 23 and we still have to fill in forms for his student loans! My argument that he had left home at 18 and was an adult had no effect whatsoever.

Well, YANBU, 25 isn't that young, but....

I am definitely not going to be encouraging my children to be mortgaged and relationship-settled by the age of 25.

My parents certainly didn't and it was one of the best thing they could have done for us, IMO.

I don't get it. 25 is no age in the grand scheme of things. Why do people rush to settle into the rest of their lives in their 20s? The rest of your life, all going to plan, is a loooong time. A long time to be paying off the mortgage, having and raising children and being all sensible. Why rush it?

Both of my parents travelled in their 20s and our family has a long history of marrying (relatively) late - my parents were in their 30s when they got married in the early 70s which was considered totally over the hill then. I have absolutely repeated that pattern and I will encourage my children to do the same.

Go out and live life, have fun, be responsibility-free for as long as it's fun, and then settle down.

Seriously - why should you only have your teens and some of your 20s to have fun - you then have your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and maybe even 80s and 90s to be settled and responsible....! Isn't that more than enough time? I don't get the rush at all.

Its not about age, its about life experience IYSWIM.

DH has quite a few male friends, in their late 30s, who lived with their parents until early 30s, have never lived with a partner, have no kids, either rent or own a tiny city pad, never cook, clean etc etc etc. To my mind, they have the mentality of a 'standard' 20yo!

Since having DCs, I have met quite a few mums who are in their early 20s, who seem no different to me age-wise (I am 35). However, I have been with DH since I was 21, and we've had a mortgage together for 12 years, so was never young free and single in my mid 20s.

I think it's young, but not immature (depending on the person) IYSWIM

An acquaintance was crying at her 25th birthday as she was 25 and getting old. It made me think, 'FFS you're 25, not 80. You should be pleased to be so young.'

I suppose she can be classed as young and immature though.

Slinking I have no intention of only having my teens and 20s to have fun. I hate the attitude that if you are married you are boring and 'responsible' (used in the context of you never go anywhere or do anything and you are practically a sub species)

If my husband and I had a pound every time someone said to us 'I wouldnt of said you were a married couple', 'you dont act 'married' etc and you say what do you mean? and they say didnt think married people would do x, y,z, or go here or go out and have a laugh without each other on nights out etc. It makes you think wtf do they think married people do you dont take your vows and turn in to your nana and grandad.

slinking for my academic year (I am 24) that has graduated into a recession + student debbt... we have very little disposable income. In ten years it's questionable whether we'll have any then either, career progression in a lot of fields is totally stagnant.

You might as well get married and have babies now (if that's what you want) because the other option ISN'T going out and partying all the time because we just can't afford it regardless. There isn't a lot of fun to be had that's free!

I agree with molly too though! Why can't we still have fun (of the cheap kind, lol) because we got married?

apologies for the lol.

Damn lack of edit.

But you get notices (?for the staff) in supermarkets - "Think 25"!!! WTF - the legal age for buying fags and alcohol is 18. My friend who's 29 can't buy alcohol in the local village store because they think he looks under 18 (doesn't!) and they won't accept his Polish identity card and passport 'cos it's not on their list of acceptable ID! Is there any wonder people feel infantilised and therefore behave as such?

Years ago at 25 you were classified as nearly middle aged. I remember going to see a consultant at the hospital a few years ago at the age of 42 and him saying "Well we have to think about your medication as you are a young woman.." GRRR, no I am not. I can accept I'm not, why can't you Doc?

I am 26 now and feel 10 years older than all my friends of the same age.

Probably because we bought our first home at 19. Moved house once already, have a cat and getting married.

None of which anyone I know is doing or has done yet.

Beaver how on earth did you manage to buy a house aged 19?!!!

I am 25 and could perhaps be classed as immature. I have a professional job and am just about to embark on my first mortgage, but I have no children and still go out a fair bit (most weekends).

I think the major differences between this generation and previous ones are: the near-impossibility of getting a mortgage in your 20s and the average age of having your first child being nearly 30.

The only reason I can afford a mortgage is because my partner is significantly older and bought 15 years ago. I am also saddled with £20k student debt (likely to be nearer £50k for next year's students and beyond) and would find it incredibly difficult to save up the £25k or so necessary to pay a deposit on a flat or modest house.

None of my close friends have children, and only one couple have a mortgage (on a tiny flat). This is almost exclusively NOT down to a lack of responsibility, but a lack of money.

I did all the hangovers and stuff in my teens. And I wanted babies young while I still had energy so my 30's wouldnt be dominated by nappies. Now im 40 my kids are grown and Im free and still young. Still broke mind

essentialfattyacid - a few years ago it was easy. I got a place on my own on a 12k wage with no help from my parents at 19 in an expensive place down South. Things have changed now but a few years ago it was dead easy if thats what you wanted, however not many people do at that age.

Molly, where do you live? I only know two other mums in their 20's where i live, most are mid to late 30's. Lots of my peers have moved back in with their parents after uni as they have had to take unpaid interships, in the hope of one day getting a job in their chosen career.
I have no idea how people my age afford to have mortgages. Especially down south. I feel like I'm never going to be able to afford my own home.

Molly, I don't understand how you could have afforded a mortgage whilst earning 12k?! I thought you could only borrow 3.5 times your salary, which would give you 42k. Are there any flats down south that cheap? Even three years ago?