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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that 25 isn't that young?

134 replies

wannaBe · 14/11/2011 16:50

yes, thread inspired by a thread, but I've seen it a lot on here:

"she's only 25, give her a break." "he's only 20 something, it's still very young..." etc etc as if somehow one doesn't stop being a child or being able to take responsibility for one's actions until one is at least 30..

At 25 my parents had two kids, a mortgage and had emigraded half way across the world.

At 25 most people are holding down responsible jobs/many have mortgages/are in long-term relationships, etc.

And while 25 is young in comparison to 40, really, by 25 one should be mature enough to act responsibly, and 25 certainly shouldn't be an excuse-all age - eighteen maybe, but not 25...

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 14/11/2011 17:17

When I was 25 I was finishing college and had no-one to be responsible for other than myself. Yes, sometimes paying my own way was extremely tough (as I did all through college) and I had to work hard to be able to afford my rent, but I worked hard and played hard. My only responsiblity at work was to turn up, I had no children, no partner, I had a great time. That's not to say I was stupid or silly, just that I was able to learn the consequences of my actions without that having an affect on anyone else. Loved it, wouldn't have changed a minute of it. But nor would I change a minute of my ever so slightly duller 40 yr old life now!

molly3478 · 14/11/2011 17:23

I am nearly 28 but probably look about 20/21 and have the body off about your average 17 year old. Everyone always thinks I am a lot younger. My husband looks really young to.

I have been married nearly 8 years, been a property owner for nearly 10and have 1 kid one one the way but I still feel very very young personally. I feel really really young because I look really young I think.

Minus273 · 14/11/2011 17:25

Tbh scarlett I don't think her age is any excuse for being that ditzy.

confusedpixie · 14/11/2011 17:27

I agree! I'm 22, moved out at 18 and went into seasonal work 6 hours from home and haven't lived within a three hour drive from home since then. Too many people seem to pander to young 20-somethings.

But I can understand it when I see most of my peers from school are still livign with parents and going out every weekend to get drunk with teenagers Hmm

TeWihara · 14/11/2011 17:27

Being 24 - I find it annoying and patronising. As far as I'm concerned the excuses run out at 18, you don't have to settle down and get a mortgage/have kids... party all night if you want to, why not?

But no excuse not to be 100% capable of looking after yourself and your own affairs. You're old enough, bloody well do it.

I don't think the people making excuses help the people involved either. You'll never learn to cash a cheque if everyone assumes you are incapable.

HannahHack · 14/11/2011 17:38

I'm 25 in a month (eek) and think it is a bit of a vicious circle. We have been infantilised as a generation. You can join the army, get a mortgage, rack up debt, have kids, but your eligibility for help with uni fees is dependent on your parents until you are 25.

I also think all this stuff about having a mortgage meaning you are mature is balls. It's something my gen can't possibly live up to. I don't have one because banks aren't lending and there is no way my parents could help out. Not that they should.

This and rental costs have a knock on effect on when I can have children. A two bed flat/house is not cheap to rent either. However, I have a 'proper' job as part of my career and live with my DP who i have 'long-term' plans with. We moved in together when I was 23.

But i still get patronised at work ...grrr.

molly3478 · 14/11/2011 17:43

I dont think having a mortgage means you are even in the slightest mature tbh. I had my first when I was just turned 19 with my husband who was 18, we used to have weekend long house parties every single weekend.

We were not in any way mature or responsible. By 20 we were living between 2 properties a house at our work and a flat in our home town and that still didnt make us in the slightest mature.

mumblechum1 · 14/11/2011 17:47

Me too, Molly, my twenties are a blur of parties, all of which were in our house as we were the only ones with our own place (unbelievably, a three bed end of terrace for £21k!)

JennyPiccolo · 14/11/2011 17:47

i'm 26 and feel quite young. I want my daughter to enjoy her childhood with yound parents, and hae lots of fun with her.

OTheHugeMjanatee · 14/11/2011 17:50

If 25 isn't young, then I'm fecking prehistoric already.

pigletmania · 14/11/2011 17:51

25 in years is young, but no YANBU at all, its not in terms of behaviour expectation.

AngryFeet · 14/11/2011 17:54

Personally I think around 25 is when people officially grow up and become adults. It has been around this age when everyone I know seemed to grow up (not that we are massively mature now Grin). The money left to my kids in my will will be given to them at 25 (if I die of course) as I think they are generally too immature before that and I have seen so many people spunk inheritance money up the wall at 18 and regret it later.

I had DD at 25 and was definitely mature enough by then. Although I was seen as a young mum and still am at the school gate.

StrandedBear · 14/11/2011 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hardboiledpossum · 14/11/2011 18:00

I'm 25 and do feel young, I also look pretty young. I'm the only one out if my friends who has a child. Most of my friends don't have careers and are still studying or travelling so I imagine they feel even younger.
I agree with HannahHack, as a generation we are not really treated as adults.

spugglers · 14/11/2011 18:01

I had a mid-life crisis at 25.

I had a career, mortgage and husband at the age of 25 but it felt too young to be weighed down with responsibilities and we sold the house and backpacked around the world for a year.

I read somewhere that the reasoning part of your brain isn't fully developed until the age of 28. That would be about right in my case. I really settled down in my late twenties.

At 25 you are an adult and should be mature but I think we should recognise that someone of this age may be more inclined to make mistakes than someone with more life experience.

marriedinwhite · 14/11/2011 18:06

21: Bought flat with mortgage on my own
22: Got promoted
23: Got promoted
26: bought first house with mortgage on my own
27: nearly married the wrong man
28: met DH
31: married DH
34: had DS
35: gave up work
37: had DD
43: went back to work
43-51: Lots of status quo

25 is wonderfully, beautifully, energetically young. I still feel 25 on the inside but I know deep down that life at 25 was more of an adventure, more exciting, more mouldable. Then a hot dog on the cab stand on Albert Bridge at 4am in the morning and looking at the stars was exciting - now I'd be too tired and it would be an unnecessary diversion before bed.

The young people at work in their twenties all seem so earnest in comparison to 25 years ago - and they don't seem to make the same daft mistakes - they have had the need to get degrees and qualifications and buy houses ground into them.

molly3478 · 14/11/2011 18:09

I feel young as do a lot of my peers and practically all are mums. 25 is pretty old to become a mum here. 30 to become a first time mum is seen as an old first time mum.

swallowedAfly · 14/11/2011 18:10

by the time i was 25 i had ten kids, ran my own multinational company and climbed mount everest daily.

wtf is the point of this thread? who on earth do you think you are to be prescribing what other people should be/do/think by set ages?

bizarre.

KalSkirata · 14/11/2011 18:11

you have to rely on your parents income for university fees till 25? I didnt know that Thats pretty appalling. Personally I think post 18 your parents income should be irrelevant for university loans etc. You are an independant adult.
Is it under 30's arent treated like adults or is it generally they dont act like them? I know when I was 25 (so many many years ago) we were adults and expected to be so. Heck, the kids teachers were 25! It wasnt 'young' having your first kids at 22 or so. Everyone I knew did and that was considered older because many wmen had them younger.
Weird old world.

LoveInAColdClimate · 14/11/2011 18:13

I felt very young at 25 - I owned my first flat but was just a baby really, went out drinking loads, not that responsible... I do think it's young.

wornoutbutstillwonderful · 14/11/2011 18:15

I completely agree I was 18 when I bought my first house with a mortgage(with fiance) had my first ds when I was 20 and was married when I was 24.

OnlyWantsOne · 14/11/2011 18:15

I'm 24.
Have two children. Mortgage. Jobs.

Hmm although I feel like an old biddy much older and I look it too

spugglers · 14/11/2011 18:16

Swallowed a fly - the op started the thread in response to another thread where posters were saying that it is perfectly acceptable for a 25 year old to get completely off their face and act like an idiot because they are "young".

carabos · 14/11/2011 18:16

DS1 is 25 and of course is nobbut a bairn. When I was 25 I had a mortgage, a husband and him! it's just trends innit?

molly3478 · 14/11/2011 18:17

I also dot think its fair that they use your parents income until your 25. I was lucky to my degree at 21 but cause I was married they didnt use my parents inome but if Ihadnt of been it would of done. It makes a massive difference I got double the money because they didnt count my parents income than if I had. (My parents arent rich either and definitely couldnt support all my living costs for uni)

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