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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you don't say to a 5 year old

87 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 13/11/2011 19:39

if you eat too many biscuits you will get fat and if you get fat you will get teased and you don't like being teased....

i know it is important to teach them to eat healthily but i am not convinced this is the right way to go about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 19:40

But there is an element of truth in it... so no, I dont think there is anything wrong with saying that.

AgentZigzag · 13/11/2011 19:41

It does sound to be setting up problems further down the line.

'No, you've had enough' is usually all it takes.

Who said it?

reallytired · 13/11/2011 19:41

It is 100% true. If a child does eat too many biscuits they will get fat or it will rot their teeth. Being fat does put them at risk of being bullied.

Depending on the child it can be better to give them reasons than to just say no. What would you have said if you had been in the parent's position.

QuintessentialShadow · 13/11/2011 19:42

There is some truth in it, isnt it.

rocksandhardplaces · 13/11/2011 19:42

I don't think it is okay because it implies it's okay to tease fat people, surely.. as though it's a cause-and-effect thing?

Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 13/11/2011 19:43

a friend to her DD.

Yes true...it was more the bit about getting fat and being teased.

I am like you Agent, just no more biscuits.

OP posts:
fuzzypeach1750 · 13/11/2011 19:43

As someone recovering from anorexia I think it's an awful thing to say. Sone people have no idea!!

Hulababy · 13/11/2011 19:44

Not something I would ever say to a child tbh. I don't like to discuss food in this way. I would just say "you've had enough now" and leave it at that.

RomanKindle · 13/11/2011 19:44

I wouldn't but I have a friend who says that very thing to her dd of the same age!
DD is a big fan of her food and I just tend to stick to the 'having to many isn't healthy' line.

RomanKindle · 13/11/2011 19:44

'too many biscuits' that should say.

passthechocolates · 13/11/2011 19:44

It is a bit negative, it might be true, but a bit harsh for a 5 year old. Your using their fear of something to motivate them... It can be done otherways, rewarding them for eating healthy snacks for example

RightUpMyRue · 13/11/2011 19:45

I prefer to say that's enough, anymore would be greedy rather than; you're getting fat, Porky.

EricNorthmansMistress · 13/11/2011 19:47

It's an awful way to address it if it was said by an adult. It might be somewhat true but that doesn't mean a 5 year old needs to hear it.

RomanKindle · 13/11/2011 19:48

I think it should always be balanced by telling kids that not eating enough isn't healthy either as well.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 13/11/2011 19:48

If my child teased anyone for being fat I'd be down on them like a ton of bricks - not blaming the other child for inviting the teasing by eating too many biscuits Angry

There are far more positive ways of teaching them about healthy eating, and saying no, you've had enough is all it needs. If I were to say anything it would be about the sugar in the biscuits causing tooth decay.

rocksandhardplaces · 13/11/2011 19:48

I think in general the more emotional stuff happens around food, the more likely it is it will become a problem down the line (whether that's a person being obsessive about being slim or fat). Food is fuel, nothing more. People who have a healthy attitude to food eat what they want when they want it and generally make healthy choices because that's sensible and better for them, and have minor indulgences but don't eat until they feel stuffed to the gills. That's the attitude I would like to promote in my children, not fear of being teased or even rotting teeth etc.

stripeywoollenhat · 13/11/2011 19:49

i think there's loads of time for the poor kid to be overwhelmed by this discourse when s/he's older. i'm in the 'that's enough' being enough camp.

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 19:50

Supposing the "no more now" has already been said and has been ignored... then what do you say.

Telling a five year old that they may get fat is not going to damage them. Surely no child wants to be fat, and no child wants to be bullied. That isnt saying that it is ok to bully fat people, but it IS something that a child WILL be bullied about at school.

AnaisB · 13/11/2011 19:53

It seems unnecessarily harsh. I don't like the emotional tone or the threat element and I'm not comfortable with the over-focus on changing behaviour to avoid teasing.

onefatcat · 13/11/2011 19:53

I usually say, "that's enough now" or something along those lines, but when dd has asked for more and wanted to know why she can't, I have been known to say "you can't have any more because they are not healthy for you- too many sweets and biscuits make you fat and that is not good for you".

RomanKindle · 13/11/2011 19:58

If 'that's enough now' gets ignored - and it does frequently in my house - I just explain to dd that people need to eat a certain amount for energy and if they get into the habit of eating too much/too little it can make them poorly. And that it's my job as their mum to make sure they don't get poorly.

squeakytoy · 13/11/2011 20:01

shrugs... I cant see any difference really in scaring a child by saying that not eating or eating too much will make them "poorly" .. which is presumably a word they understand, and know that being poorly is not nice... (and is also a bit of a lie really), or being truthful and telling them that too much sweet sugary food will make them fat.

AgentZigzag · 13/11/2011 20:01

'Supposing the "no more now" has already been said and has been ignored... then what do you say.'

I'd then say 'No, you're not having any more' a bit more firmly, they'd tell by the twang in my voice not to mess Grin

RomanKindle · 13/11/2011 20:04

If you regularly don't eat enough and continually drop weight you will become very poorly. If you regularly eat too much you will become obese and at a higher risk of developing heart problems/diabetes etc so I can't see how it's a lie.

timidviper · 13/11/2011 20:04

There might be some truth in it but, as a mother who has watched her DD battle eating issues, that makes me feel very uncomfortable