to think you don't say to a 5 year old

[whoneedssleepanyway]

if you eat too many biscuits you will get fat and if you get fat you will get teased and you don't like being teased....

i know it is important to teach them to eat healthily but i am not convinced this is the right way to go about it.

AIBU?

what's wrong with the simple word "no"? I have never felt unable to clamp down biscuit eating without having to speak of bullying as some natural or inevitable consequence of looking different

I don't want my children to be fat (and they are not), but I can deal with that without having to imply that it is natural or normal to taunt people

if there is taunting going on at the school I would expect them to have a robust anti-bullying policy- as all dcs' schools have had; it never took them many minutes to clamp down on bullying

fwiw I was bullied and called fat (amongst other things); looking at the photos at the time I was skinny- and certainly a lot thinner than some of the other kids who did not get bullied

so there must have been some other reason- nothing that could be sorted out by less biscuit eating

I don't think it's ever too early to learn 'all things in moderation' mantra.

Biscuits are fine, crisps are fine, cake is fine - as long as it's eaten in moderation. All the above foods provide nutritional value (carbs etc) so I have no problem with my dc eating them (sweets I'm a more wary of, little or no nutritional value) as long as they are restricted.

I do explain why she mustn't eat too many. Don't get me worng I am adult and I am in charge and unmovable once I have said no. However I see little reason not to back my descion up with facts - it educates and informs so keeping my reasoning a secret (just to my prove my word is law) is pointless and actually detrimental as I would be missing a chance to teach dd1 important lessons about diet and health.

DD1 also knows that some foods help us grow and that we can eat more of these. She also knows that it's not important to eat all her dinner but to stop when her stomach tells her she is full. I feel this is a very important thing to teach small children - to follow the cues of their appetite.

These are basics. I am quite shocked some parents feel using the word 'fat' is an adequate way to teach their children about healthy eating.

No, YANBU. Putting limits on consuming food is fine in itself. Adding the getting fat and teased part teaches them that that is what happens and they will do it.

It's funny, I was thinking back to my childhood and I don't recall my mother ever talking to me about healthy eating, but we certainly ate a very healthy diet. There was plenty of 'don't spoil your appetite' and being fussy was a fairly serious crime, but I don't recall ever being told I couldn't eat any specific kinds of food mainly I suspect because what I was allowed to eat was pretty limited as everything had a specific function. So I could have a piece of toast /an apple / plain digestives /milk after school but it was pretty much three good meals and that's it.

I wonder whether children today just have too many food options, making eating much more interesting/ desirable?

Nooka I agree- food is just nicer these days and people have fridges full of non-allocated food. My childhood home was devoid of tasty snacks. I'm not sure that hummous, for example, had even been invented back then. However, I did used to hunt out those sugar crystals and eat those [weirdo]

YANBU - you can stop a child from eating too many biscuits without, effectively, telling them that if they get fat they will be less loveable. If that sort of thing is said a lot it risks setting the child up with a very unhealthy relationship with food, making weight problems more, not less, likely.

I think it would be ok to point out eating too many biscuits will make you fat if you are showing this as a negative in health terms, but it does seem wrong to couch it in image terms.

It's not healthy, you will get fat which is bad for your heart / body or something might have been ok

I don't think that you need to go into details. I would never have more than 2 biscuits myself so it never comes up, they don't think it normal to have more. I don't recall anyone ever telling me as a child that you don't eat lots of biscuits-I just never saw anyone do it.

exotic Exactly... set ideas by example.

I would not want my child to be fat, because a fat child will be bullied by others."

Let's just hope your child is not red haired, or wears glasses! Or is it Ok to bully children because of these characteristics too?

I think the getting fat bit is reasonable. They need to know some foods are unhealthy and that, if you gain weight as a result of eating too much of the wrong food, it's not good for you. DS regularly wants to know why he should/shouldn't do things and I'd say this is a pretty reasonable explanation (among others) as to why you shouldn't eat too many biscuits.

The teasing bit sort of normalises that behaviour I think, and it's rather unreasonable. I think it would be easy for any young child to assume after that comment that some children are larger than others simply because they have eaten 10 biscuits that day.

there are thin people whose insides are probably incredibly unhealthy.

Let's not pretend the getting fat part is all about health ... People are repulsed by fat and to say this to a little girl is to condone bullying.

and NO, I'm not fat