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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let my almost 3yo sleep 10pm - 8am?

129 replies

CountingDown321 · 10/11/2011 21:44

Does anyone else have these sleeping hours for their small children?

Probably not on MN!

He has a 30 minute nap at nursery, and doesn't seem tired, but I do have to wake him up in the mornings...

OP posts:
winnybella · 10/11/2011 23:12

DD(2.10) goes to bed at 8.30 and wakes up at 8-8.30. She also has 1-2 hrs nap at the nursery. Can't imagine putting her to bed at 6- for one she's not tired and two, I wouldn't spend much time with her. Here in Paris the playground is full til at least 8pm in the summer.

MrBloomsNursery · 10/11/2011 23:12

My DD just went to sleep :(. She'll be up bright and early at 8 or 9am.

ouryve · 10/11/2011 23:15

DS1 used to keep those sort of hours. Then one day, he decided 5am was a good time to wake up.

Thankfully, it made him tired enough to go to sleep early enough for DH and I to have some alone time in the evening!

threefeethighandrising · 10/11/2011 23:15

DS is nearly 3, and like your LO he was sleeping pretty much 10-8 until very recently.

He dropped his daytime nap about a month ago (nursery give him a chance to sleep but he chooses not too) and is now going to bed at around 7:30 (sometimes as early as 7 Shock).

He seems to need this earlier bedtime now - his body clock just changed! I imagine the same might happen with your DS at some point, maybe?

I do miss him though, I liked having him around in the evenings.

Stupify64 · 10/11/2011 23:52

We moved house; first time DS was invited to a friend's I thought pick-up would be about 6.30; no, 5.30 latest as the hostess's 3 DCs (newborn to yr 4) were all in bed by 6.

On the return invite had kittens getting tea on table for 4.30, only for DS to say 'is this lunch again?'

May not be much of a change needed when OP's starts school. If you live close enough they can get up at 8 & still be there for 8.55.

Careful with having young (ish) children out after 7 tho'. You may be followed by a TV crew who assume that they're beggars & you're their 'master'.
Before you spit at me this tongue-in-cheek does not mean I belittle the plight of those who are abused in this way - being forced to beg I mean, not being filmed by a TV crew.

mumeeee · 10/11/2011 23:57

I think 10pm is to late for a 3 year old. Our DDs were in bed by 8pm at this-age and slept until 7 or 8 am. Although DD3 did wake in the night until was 3. You need sometime to yourself in the evening.

SenseofEntitlement · 11/11/2011 00:01

DD2 is nearly 2 and goes to bed somewhere between 6 and 7, and DD1, who is 4.5, goes between 7 and 8, both sometimes slightly later if we are doing something interesting. We have to nag them out of bed in the morning at 8am and then rush about like mad things to be ready for school. DD2 also naps for an hour or two in the day.

We are a very lazy family :) DD2 used to hardly sleep, we had a bit of a panic, but now she is mostly lazy like us.

When we only had DD1, we used to be very lax with bedtimes - she often slept on a bed or in a pram at friends houses, but DD2 being bad at sleeping got us out of that habit. Although when we visit my parents both girls stay up later and go to bed later, with DD1 often staying up with the grown ups. Then she sleeps in even later Grin

I do love the idea of the continental family staying up late, friends dropping in, eating olive oil and wine or whatever, but damn school gets in the way. School does that a lot :(

moonbells · 11/11/2011 00:01

8.30pm to 6.30am here, and I do have to wake him. It's not for want of trying to get bedtime to 7pm, either. He just won't, period. Awkward little so and so!

DuchessofHaphazard · 11/11/2011 01:04

DS (3.4) goes to bed around 8pm, although this has been moved back from about 9 as he has started getting very tired at nursery in the afternoons. Works for us. Both DP and I are night owls, and he'll usually sleep until 9am at weekends (but goes to bed a bit later), plus a 2/3 hour nap in the afternoon on saturday and sunday. Having said that, he'll go to bed earlier if he's particularly tired as well. And actually, when we visited family in Portugal in the summer, he was sleeping 11pm to about 11am/midday.

I personally don't understand the 7pm bedtime, but then I work long hours and if DS was in bed by 7pm I'd pretty much never see him. I like spending time with him and DP in the early evenings, and DP and I still get plenty of time together.

Methe · 11/11/2011 01:06

My ds is in bed and asleep by 1830 and sleeps straight through till 7.

Toddlers need a lot of sleep. 10pm is to late!

ll31 · 11/11/2011 01:11

sounds familiar except for not waking till 10 - in my case - went to sleep at 10 woke at half five to six! but seriously whatever is good for you is the right way to go - enjoy! must admit I loved having him wake latie sh!

ll31 · 11/11/2011 01:12

late ish that would be

FreudianSlipper · 11/11/2011 02:54

ds was like this and once he went to nursery he started to go to bed earlier. he never slept 12 hours either and wind down time didn't work he was full of energy then tired and wanted to go to bed to sleep nothing in between (and still like this most of the time)

he likes to stay up at weekends we usually are out or have friends round (or he is staying with his daddy) i am one of those parents some like to get arsy and tuttut about as we go shopping late at night or he might be out shock horror after 9pm in a restaurant. he likes a lie in and will go to bed earlier if he is tired. not a believer that children need strict routines

ZonkedOut · 11/11/2011 04:11

10pm is quite late, but whatever works for you.

However, I agree with the posters who say that if you have to wake him up every morning, he probably isn't getting enough sleep. You say you'd like to move bedtime earlier, I'd suggest moving it by 10 minutes every few days until you get it where you want it.

My 2.6 year old DD1 goes to bed by 8pm, wakes up around 7 to 7.30. She has a groclock set to 7am, and it took a while for her to get the hang of it, but it works well now.

MrsSleepy · 11/11/2011 06:42

My DS 3.6 Year old goes to bed at 7.30pm and gets up at 6.30am, My DD 8.6 Year old goes to bed at 8.30pm and gets up around 7am.

It works well for us as we have to be at school for 8.45am, If they slept later we would be late.

The only downfall about it is the routine is the same at weekends,

I couldn't let them go to bed at 10pm, I'm usually in bed by then!!!

StealthPenguin · 11/11/2011 09:53

Don't ask me what I've done to deserve such an good baby, but my DS is 20 weeks and he's been sleeping through the night in his own bedroom since 7 weeks. His normal routine is to have a final feed between 7:30 and 8pm, and then by 8:30 he's fast asleep. I'll put him to bed and we won't hear a peep until 7:30 next morning.

10pm - 8am is a really good routine. YANBU

natation · 11/11/2011 10:03

10-8 is 10 hours and that's within many experts' views of a normal amount of sleep for a 3 year old - ie 10 to 12 hours. If your child wakes up seeming not tired in the mornings and the timings suit your family, then what is the problem? Our 6 year old sleeps 9 - 7, some people think 9 is far too late for a child at school, but it's the amount of sleep her body has regulated itself for. Her elder sister needs about an hours less sleep, she swims late 4 nights a week, so sometimes is in bed after 9 and gets up at 7, if she goes to bed at 8, it means, she wakes at 6, means she needs 10 hours max sleep too. There's no way I am going to force our girls to sleep longer or less.

valiumredhead · 11/11/2011 10:07

If it works for you fine but it wouldn't have been enough sleep for my ds when he was 3. It's not enough sleep for him now and he's 10!

ShowOfHands · 11/11/2011 10:13

I do so much like the 'I need my evenings'. DD would never, ever, ever sleep before 10pm. Didn't matter what time we got her up in the morning. And she gave up napping at 12 months. She never needed sleep. I eventually realised that I loved having her company in an evening, dh got to spend time with her too and when she started school in September she adjusted almost overnight to 7.30-7.30. I miss her in an evening now.

Nagoo · 11/11/2011 10:23

I think if you WOH then then time with the child is more precious so you don't mind sacrificing 'adult time' to be with them.

Since I am with mine all day I can't wait for 7pm! Grin

The only thing I would say, is think about when you will need to get them up and out for school, you might need to bring bedtime forward so that they are up and ready and not grumpy first thing.

TrinityRhino · 11/11/2011 12:50

don't you think that if she adjusted overnight at school time then you maybe could have done it before, if you had wanted to

TrinityRhino · 11/11/2011 12:51

sorry, that was directed at SOH and I'm hoping it didn't sound argumentative cause she's a scary caaah Grin

Nagoo · 11/11/2011 12:59

trin school knackers them out though, doesn't it?

MrTumblesBum · 11/11/2011 13:00

Mine are 3.3 and 16mo and both do 6-8.

They dropped naps early though - DD2 does still have one but only about 20 mins a day.

azazello · 11/11/2011 13:07

When my DD still napped she would sleep 10-8 with an hour to 1.5 hours nap.

She now sleeps 8.30-7.30 without a nap (age 4). Occasionally she won't go to sleep until 9 and is constantly getting out of bed for a wee or a glass of water even though she doesn't get extra attention for it.

We tend to watch a film in the evening before bath and getting ready for bed instead of the getting up at 6 and putting Cbeebies on in the morning so we all have some time together. I do miss having child free time in the evenings though.