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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think every SAHM, low hour PT worker and carer should read this?

999 replies

Peachy · 10/11/2011 19:41

Well i am not but it matters to you so you must

here

Changes to system WRT worker hours

have a thread in chat and don;t want a debate, or at least won't participate iun one as petrified as we will now certianly lose our home and not up to taking flak. But if it affects you, you need to know.

OP posts:
Voidka · 13/11/2011 11:58

So what should happen if the bastard you are married to decides he doesnt want to be married to you any more?

My BF is now on her own with 5 month old twins and a toddler because her husband left her for a woman he met at work. He hasnt seen the boys since he left 4 months ago. What is she supposed to do?

Lookattheears · 13/11/2011 11:59

Misuse of credit cards by anyone is down to a sense of entitlement sometimes. wanting what the Jones's have got regardless of the fact you can't afford it.

Voidka · 13/11/2011 11:59

And he isnt paying any support either.

Dawndonna · 13/11/2011 12:02

But sometimes it's due to necessity. I still don't see why those that are responsible with cards should suffer because some are irresponsible.

TheRealTillyMinto · 13/11/2011 12:03

I still don't see why those that are responsible with cards should suffer because some are irresponsible

i agree

littlemisssarcastic · 13/11/2011 12:03

Hmm, I also know several mature women who are in controlling relationships, yet not one of them can see that what they are experiencing is abusive. Sad

Out of all the women I know in this situation, they all without exception believe that most all men are bastards, and they focus on the good points in their relationships.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

The point is, it is far far harder to extricate yourself from an abusive relationship than it is to get into one in the first place, so my opinion is that the women who do get into these relationships in the first place do so because they do not see the warning signs, and they honestly believe their relationship isn't abusive even when they are living with the abuse on a daily basis.

Voidka · 13/11/2011 12:04

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Are you a 1990's Ricki Lake guest?

littlemisssarcastic · 13/11/2011 12:05

Ha ha ha No

Lookattheears · 13/11/2011 12:08

My BF is now on her own with 5 month old twins and a toddler because her husband left her for a woman he met at work. He hasnt seen the boys since he left 4 months ago. What is she supposed to do?

I'm not sure what you mean? Presumably she sees a solicitor to get support from him as a first move?

TheRealTillyMinto · 13/11/2011 12:09

Voidka CSA should take most of the bastard's salary whether or not he has children with the new women.

he has 3 children to support. and 2 houses. i dont see why the State should enable him to think he can afford anymore. he cannot. the State cannot either.

then we can stop cutting funding to the NHS.

Voidka · 13/11/2011 12:15

But the CSA isnt fit for purpose.

Another thing I wonder with all these cuts is what will happen to the many charities out there that provide help to many people? If everyone has to be doing paid work what will happen to all the volunteers? They wont have the funding to pay people.

Voidka · 13/11/2011 12:16

Sorry littlemisssarcastic - I couldnt resist :)

Spent many an afternoon after school watching Ricki.

TheRealTillyMinto · 13/11/2011 12:18

But the CSA isnt fit for purpose i completely agree

shagmundfreud · 13/11/2011 12:22

Tilly - problem is, how many people earn enough to support 2 households in the uk, even if the CSa do take child support from their salary?

Children, the elderly, the disabled - as a society we've decided that our first priority is to support these vulnerable groups. If we are that desperate perhaps we could cut £20k from the salary of every state employee earning over 80k a year, abolish the charitable status of private schools, introduce a 60p top rate of tax on salaries over 100k, introduce a higher rate of stamp duty for property worth over £1000000 - I could go on. It doesn't seem to me that this is a poor country. Quite the reverse in fact.

littlemisssarcastic · 13/11/2011 12:27

Voidka Grin I saw her a few times but never have time to watch anymore.

CSA and HMRC need to merge to make all NRP's pay for their DC, regardless of whether they are self employed/unemployed/working/SAHP to subsequent DC in new relationships.

HuntyCat Didn't we resolve the issues with the non compliant NRP's and the CSA on this thread? Grin

Lookattheears · 13/11/2011 12:31

You tax the " rich" more and they will bank offshore. I absolutely promise you that. I know of two companies seeking to do just that with the current 50% tax rate.

There is no moral imperative to make people give more than half of what they earn away other than the politics of envy and entitlement. Why should people work 80 hour weeks so the Govt can take 60% of it to give some of it away to people, some of whom choose not to work at all, as evidenced by this thread.

TheRealTillyMinto · 13/11/2011 12:32

it certainly would not be easy for the 'DH' in the example above. He would have to keep enough for a room in a shared house etc.

but he could only start a new family with a new women who could afford to keep him and children.

the alternative is the sutiation we as a country have now. we have run out of money.

your ideas while politically are fair, practically generate very little cash towards solving the problem.

there are v rich people but there arent many & most of those would rather leave the UK than pay more tax.

if very few people can afford to run two homes, how can we have significant numbers of people 'running' two homes?

littlemisssarcastic · 13/11/2011 12:32

Who on this thread has chosen not to work? I must have missed those posts. Confused

KalSkirata · 13/11/2011 12:32

There are thousands of bastard males out there. So don;t get shackled to them. They behave like that because they have got away with it and see no reason to change. It is 100% their fault they are like it and never women's but if you stick by them and put up with it then that is YOUR CHOICE.
Years ago, women had little choice now they have plenty. There is superb practical, emotional and financiak support.'

yup and that financial support is being eroded with the cuts leaving women stuck.

eminencegrise · 13/11/2011 12:33

First of all, this country does not go far enough to ensure non-resident parents pay to support their children, it really doesn't.

Secondly, if we have so much debt, why are we about to spend £40bn to bail out Italy and Greece and have money for wars, Libya, billions in foreign aid, etc?

Lookattheears · 13/11/2011 12:34

littlemisssarcastic you need to re read the bit where one poster won't work so she can be home at 3 for her teens.

Lookattheears · 13/11/2011 12:35

yup and that financial support is being eroded with the cuts leaving women stuck.

Can you show me evidence of this?

Voidka · 13/11/2011 12:37

So 1 person then.

The rest of us would like to work, but for different reasons its impossible.

TheRealTillyMinto · 13/11/2011 12:39

why are we about to spend £40bn to bail out Italy and Greece becuase the UK relies in trade with the Eurozone. If they go down, so do we. & the cuts will get deeper

wars, Libya politicians vanity? i dont know how we vote for a govt that doesnt do wars because Lab and Cons both do.

billions in foreign aid are you arguing we shouldnt give money to people who are starving?

Sevenfold · 13/11/2011 12:39

1 person
so that means everyone then.
omg we need a poster is as thick as shit emotion