To think every SAHM, low hour PT worker and carer should read this?

[Peachy]

Well i am not but it matters to you so you must

here

Changes to system WRT worker hours

have a thread in chat and don;t want a debate, or at least won't participate iun one as petrified as we will now certianly lose our home and not up to taking flak. But if it affects you, you need to know.

Dv and choice: while it is only the abuser's fault, and having seen the changes in a friend in that situation, i can see how self esteem erosion, diminishes choice.

BUt an element of choice remains? Otherwise the state should intervene.

TheRealTillyMinto you are obviously someone who already know how those shoes feel, so hope you know my post was directed at people like you who know what it is like and understand.

Lookattheears you are talking rubbish,
but then why doesn't that surprise me!
you make it sound like it is all about choices. like someone chooses to have a disabled child/partner/parent or be disabled themselves, that someone choose to have MH issues or an abusive partner.
please don't let the facts get in the way of your vile misinformed posts though, no fun in that

I beg to differ, lots of low income families used credit cards for food shopping and petrol, not swanky holidays etc

Voodoobarbie Whatever low income families use credit cards for will always leave them in a worse situation because they will owe the interest if not paid off straight away.

oh, Lordy me, do we want to ban credit cards for low income families now?

Rather like this country if the debt doesn't get paid off before we are downgraded.

There is no more money, there will be cuts.

but do you think it is right to target people like the disabled when making the cuts?

i think we need much more emphasis on schools on sexual equality.

two of my friends:

1. DV: single women in her late forties, struggling business women, when younger miscarried her only chance of a child. Overweight and thinks she should be lucky for anyone to be intrested in her. So puts up with violent, ex boxer.

1. Emotional abuse: married, 2 children £50k household income. only 'D'H spends most of it on himself (he pays the mortage & thats it!). Leaving my friend so confused she is putting the family food bill on a credit card. but thats ok coz hubby needs £200 jeans so he feels good about himself when he goes out with 'the boys'. (except he will never fell good about himself because you can tell he knows he is a loser).

When posters on benefits say the State should fund however many children they want, i find myself thinking, should both these women pay more tax?

because they are the majority in income brackets and if you want more taxes, they need to be paying more.

(& we need more financial education in schools as credit cards, pay days loans etc. increase social inequality)

oh, Lordy me, do we want to ban credit cards for low income families now?

if Labour had done that, it would have been one of the most socially responsible things they could have done.

credit cards increase social inequality

Everyone's budgets will be cut. The disabled are not being singled out for persecution, my local General hospital has been told to make several million pounds worth of savings. Until the books balance no body can rely on the government to look after them.

I'm bored of the "mile in their shoes" argument btw. Everyone has overcome difficult things in their life, no one is immune from tragedy and heartbreak. There are very few people who have a completely charmed existence.

Of course we are all going to be affected by cuts. Surely we agree that some people have to be protected against such cuts.

People like me can cope with being hit a little harder so others can still be helped

actually there is evidence that most successful people have overcome great tragedy in their lives.

Evan Davis did a program about it.

you dont get to choose what happens to you in life, but you get to choose how you deal with it.

People like me can cope with being hit a little harder so others can still be helped

what are people like you like?

Alouisee read some of the vile posts on this thread, the blatant ignorance shown by a few(and it is a few posters) who show such ignorance towards something the obviously feel will never happen to them.
and yes the disabled are being targeted by these cuts.

Alouisee - but don't you see that your General Hospital making cuts will ALSO affect people with disabilities disproportionally? My local General Hospital hasn't had a Neurologist for over 5 years. I was travelling out of area (a 60 mile train journey ) to see a Neuro for my epilepsy. For the last 5 years, my PCT has 'allowed' me to see the Neuro once a year. NOW, as my Hospital is making cuts to it's budget - I am no longer allowed to go out of area to see a Neuro AT ALL, as the PCT won't fund it. Yet we have no Neurologist in our PCT.

So everyone with Epilepsy in my PCT has NO access to a Neurologist any more. Which is quite dangerous. Epilepsy Action are currently trying to bring a case against my PCT, as relying on GP's who have no real knowledge of the side effects of epilepsy medications can cause life-threatening problems.

THIS is what the cuts mean for people with disabilities.

Well said HuntyCat.

I have a 4 year old with ASD. He has a language delay yet we have not seen a SALT for over a year. He has problems with his motor skills, yet we have been turned down for OT. He has a specialist SN teacher who comes to visit him at home. It used to be once a week for 2 hours, now its every other week for an hour.

These are how the cuts are effecting us. It took us 6 months to get the funding for nappies, 9 months to get a Maclaren Major.

The services for disabled children in schools are being cut harshly. We know that early intervention will save much more money in the long term, but its not being actioned.

HuntyCat - there is no no neurologist in my area either, Hasn't been for years. I know a registrar who worked with him. He left the NHs because he wasn't able to provide the care for his patients that they needed. This was about five years ago. The NHs hasn't suddenly stopped working, it is a creaking machine that is not equipped to deal with todays demands.

When it was set up all those years ago they thought that wiping out childhood diseases and mending a few broken bones was the sum of it. No one could have foreseen the medical advancements of the last 30 years. Also bear in mind how our population has grown since 1946, it is completely unsustainable in its present form.

If we are talking about cuts, let's talk about the pupil premium.

My kids school, 3 kids on free school meals so a pittance in pupil premium. Nearest city has 70% free school meals in some areas so plenty of cash through the pupil premium..
So my kids in their school are penalised because their parents work and the kids down the road have thousands upon thousands of extra cash because their parents don't.

So much for The Evil Tories helping the rich, eh? Why are my kids less worthy, hmm?

I'm not getting into DV but we have all, every single one of us I have no doubt, heard women break up with men because they were, " too nice" a bit " boring" or they , " liked a bit of rough".
There are thousands of red flags in a relationship way before you should be even considering marriage, kids, shacking up. Of course, some men are nice as pie and turn rotten when you are pregnant or powerless but with the vast majority, it's all there if you want to look. How many times have I known women proudly talk about how they won't, " let" her wear a short skirt or walk home at night or go out with male friends. Some women see this as proof he loves them. I know women who have been married for twenty years and are still given a tenner a week pocket money while their husband spends what the hell he likes and they just put up with it. That is THEIR choice.

There are thousands of bastard males out there. So don;t get shackled to them. They behave like that because they have got away with it and see no reason to change. It is 100% their fault they are like it and never women's but if you stick by them and put up with it then that is YOUR CHOICE.
Years ago, women had little choice now they have plenty. There is superb practical, emotional and financiak support.

BUT, Alouisee - My PCT will no longer fund me seeing a Neuro out of area either. And I have a fairly complex case of epilepsy, that even after 7 years and trying 6 different types of medication is not controlled (just like 30% of people with epilepsy). And I have had side effects from medication that range from anaphylaxis to permanent sight damage to early-stage liver failure (that luckily reversed when I was taken off that medication).

Though hearing your story - it sounds suspiciously like we are in the same area!

But my one of my relations who lives on IB, over uses the NHS with his 'conditions'.

the latest was he broke his leg (he is in his thirties, single man, owns own home due to various dodgy deals). 2 years later, he kept insisting he saw not the junior consultant but the senior one who said:

"X there is nothing wrong with your leg. its has healed really well. 2 years ago. if you come here again, i will call the psychiatric team."

if your dad and brother who work in a caring professions think you are a lazy benefits scrounger.....

i know this is not everyones story but he works the system.

giving money to people for being ill has ruined his life. failing ATOS will make his life better.

at the moment he drinks beer in the day & smokes dope. with his mates who dont work.

My brother has the same issues HuntyCat - he has been told that his GP will be managing his epilepsy, so far it's working very well. It's also more convenient for him to attend his surgery than schlep to the nearest specialist centre. There are protocols in place for poorly controlledepilepsy to be managed by GP's. He has also been told to look very seriously at a ketogenic diet, I'm in charge of sorting that out for him, it appears to be having some positive effects on him until he drinks alcohol

Not everyone is aware of what the red flags are before they get into a relationship with a bastard though. Many people who have ended up in abusive relationships had no idea what the warning signs were, and only see them when they reflect on their relationship, not when they got into it in the first place.
That's not much good if by the time you realise what an abusive relationship you are in, you are already in it!!!!!

No, I absolutely agree littlemisssarcastic but I know several mature women who are in controlling relationships, are very aware they are in controlling/abusive relationships but do nothing whatsoever to engineer change.

Re: Credit cards,
Milly, to some extent I agree with you. I don't however think they should be banned, some of us need them and use them responsibly, it's the same argument as usual, not penalising the majority because of the few.