AIBU to give DH a hard time about joining freemasons?

[Rachtoteach]

I think the answer is probably, yes. But I am a bit ignorant about the whole thing I suppose but all I can see at the mo is it's a bid weird, it's the first time in our relationship he has acted 'secretively' towards me, it costs money to join (and we dont have any to spare). I'm feeling really fed up but know IABU as he is a wonderful hubby and father, hardly ever goes out socially etc, and he seems really keen.

Any thoughts ladies? x

By that I mean the 'having contacts' thing would be more useful to a local businessman rather than a lawyer who works for an investment bank. DH would be in serious trouble if there was ever any speculation over 'inside knowledge' or stuff like that.

Depends which lodge I thing loving it's been the opposite in dh and df's case - it's all about the networking ( and charidee of course )

At the weekend I went to this funny ceremony where a woman dressed up in a big white dress and made all sorts of solemn promises in front of an invisible lawgiver. The week before a went to this other sort of ceremony where people stood on a stage dressed in funny clothes and recited lines they had learnt from something called a script.

The world is full of people who engage in all sorts of funny rituals and enact all sorts of odd belief in their spare time. I'm not sure why one is any more deserving of ridicule or suspicion than another!

Ah right wrt a lawyer yes, see what you mean.

That's a really good point nesbo!

I was going to say similar Nesbo

Every week I go to a club. I pay to get in. I slowly progress in a line with about 30 other woman. When I reach the front of the line I take off my shoes and stand on a platform where two woman either applaud me or tell me off. Sometimes the ring a bell and everybody applauds me. I then sit in a circle and applaud numbers read out by the leader. Any less weird than anything you think the masons do?

The Masons may do good works for charity but why do they exclude women?

Harmless traditions maybe - but it has a patrriarcha grip about it - discriminating against women for some unknown reasons - and subordinating them.

Q. Why don't you have women members ?

A. Traditionally, Freemasonry under the United Grand Lodge of England has been restricted to men. The early stonemasons were all male, and when Freemasonry was organising, the position of women in society was differant from today. If women wish to join Freemasonry, there are two separate Grand Lodges in England restricted to women only.

From the link I posted earlier.

It is no big deal. My DH was in a lodge for many years but then one day, almost out of the blue, decided he didn't want to do it any more and left.

I know all the secrets!

There are mixed lodges, not ll lodges exclude woman.

Does the WI let men in? (I genuinely do not know the answer to this)

Valium - it's not a very clear answer is it.

They don't answer the question - why are women are not allowed?

No I bloody doubt and my nan and her mates would've give short shrift to any bloke who had insisted they had a right to join in on their night out/piss up!

I answered the question. They are

And the WI does not allow men in (I googled)

Anything men are doing that women can't do I guess is sexist - whether it's harmless traditionor or not.

But they CAN do it, if they wish.

when i use to go to church the told me the freemasons were satanists. prob not at the lower lvls but higher up da da da..... you have been warned

Anything ONE GENDER can do that the OTHER can not is sexist surely.

By which definition the WI is, but Freemasonry is not, but perhaps treads a fine line in some cases (Like my DH's lodge who do not allow woman)

Are women welcome?

Deja vu

There are lodges which are mixed as well as all female lodges

My dad's Lodge isn't mixed - and I've not heard of any in our area.

I know my MIL was master of an all womans lodge. There are mixed lodges around here but I don't fancy it myself. They are moving forward, just doing it slowly and the only way it will happen is if more younger people start going who are willing to move forward

My friend is a lady Freemason in a women only lodge in London somewhere so they do exist.

It's fine. seriously don't worry, my dh is one and he is really normal lol. He doesn't go that often cos he finds some of it a bit boring but we've had some really good nights out and met some lovely people all of whom are genuine. My dh was approached by an older guy he worked with and I admit I was very dubious about the whole thing but there is nothing to worry about. When this mans wife died the lodge were so supportive and he was so glad to have so many friends. All the wives know each other and cooked for him etc etc. People think you get loads of favours and promotions etc if you are one but as long as you realise that's not really the case you'll find it won't do him any harm and he'll probably get involved with charity fundraisers as opposed to wild nights with goats and strange men!!

It tends to be for rather stupid people with too much time who want to go through ridiculous ceremonies, slightly trumped up working class policemen who think they rae better than they are and like a break from their wives and families, very sexist and pretty pointless although those into that kind of thing will talk about the charity work done etc There is much engrained sexism. Not nice.

My dad was a freemason. He told me he joined it so that, if he died, I would get my education paid for. He didn't, and so I didn't. My mother had a healthy disrespect for their rituals etc. One time, we broke into his briefcase before he went to a meeting, and replaced his apron with a frilly one of the same colour that belonged to mum :o. Apparently everyone saw the funny side.

All I can remember about them was they were a bunch of really nice old men, who would do anything for anyone. Nothing sinister or nasty went on to my knowledge, but that was just my experience of lodge.