AIBU to give DH a hard time about joining freemasons?

[Rachtoteach]

I think the answer is probably, yes. But I am a bit ignorant about the whole thing I suppose but all I can see at the mo is it's a bid weird, it's the first time in our relationship he has acted 'secretively' towards me, it costs money to join (and we dont have any to spare). I'm feeling really fed up but know IABU as he is a wonderful hubby and father, hardly ever goes out socially etc, and he seems really keen.

Any thoughts ladies? x

[_[http://mastermason.com/rfire/masonry/robison.html]]

The title says it all!

I did some waitressing for them a few times when I was younger. There weren't any strippers there. However, it was quite unsettling as they all went completely silent as I walked around the massive table putting food down. Surely they could have just chatted about non-secret topics? It made me feel quite embarrassed and servile.

mastermason.com/rfire/masonry/robison.html

Sorry, am posting on mobile. Hopefully the link works now.

My DH joined it, I didn't give him a hard time but left him to find out for himself.
He hated every minute of it and ended up having to pretty much go into hiding to get away from them! They kept demanding moneys with menaces. He hated all the learning of the code, the dressing up, and found that not one of the others was under the age of about 80 so not exactly the social life he was expecting. Also none of them could understand the concept of him having a job, a family, and not being able to commit his life entirely to the FMs.... If he wasn't word perfect they went mad at him like a naughty schoolboy.

I expect your DH will discover in his own time what they are like.

Not really sure if you ABU or not. The only freemason of my own age I knew was a nice bloke but something of a stuffed shirt, so based on that rather small sample! freemasonry puts me off somewhat.
My late father was a freemason in the 1950s and even a Grand Master of one of the two lodges of which he was a member. I have a mysterious little book which belonged to him - it has lots of blanks and asterisks, so it's not properly comprehensible - it's all about the different ceremonies.
Actually I think it is probably a Just William club for middle aged, middle class men, mostly Tories, I would guess; a bit daft; probably no dafter than the Sealed Knot - but Freemasons DO do a lot of fundraising for charity, which is A Good Thing.
Another Good Thing, by which I mean, something in their favour -is that Hitler (or was it Mussolini?) was fervently opposed to them.

i would be encouraging him to join.Contacts are very important.

My friends Dad is a Mason; it sounds like an excuse to get drunk and eat well in nice places under the guise of charidee.

valium I'm curious, what do they actually do at the meetings? And what is the secret code etc supposed to be for?

Sorry Faffalina but waiters/waitresses have nothing to complain about if their guests want to keep their conversation private - whoever they are and whatever they are talking about. The guests' talk is not the servers' business. Ever.

why would you give him a hard time? presumably he is an adult with his own views and opinions?

would he give you a hard time if you joined the Womens Institute or Cross Dressers Weekly?

The most famous thing they do! - in their initiation ceremonies (you have to be sworn in; as I say, I think it is a 'Just William' club for the middle aged), is...
The chap about to be admitted to the Lodge is blindfolded and a noose is hung around his neck (yes, really, I am pretty sure that is right) and he is led around the room, passing by all the already enrolled Masons. Oh yes, and one of his trouser legs must be rolled up above one knee. This is very important, as you can imagine..
The actual swearing in I believe involves his uttering acceptance that his tongue will be cut out, should he ever release freemasonry secrets to anyone who is not initiated.

If anyone's interested, I could look out my strange little book with the cryptic descriptions of what goes on and copy out a couple of paragraphs. But you'll not be left much wiser!

Oh, and to add to the fun the chap being initiated also has to have one breast bare! I suppose all this one bare leg, one bare breast, blindfolded, noose around the neck thing IS quite good fun for the others who have gone though it, remembering their own embarrassment/apprehension. Schadenfreude.
It is an odd thing, isn't it - aren't people odd? - that such a men's club should have Lodges all around the world?! Even today the Freemasons are booming, as far as I know.

minipie All lodges are different, dh's one is pretty low key, they have a meal, discuss charidee etc,not quite as stuffed shirty as my dad's which was VERY strict dress code - I think they had to wear proper mourning (morning?) suits and it was all extremely formal.

As far as the secret code thing, all the handshakes can be found on the internet with not much googling, so not that secret at all

I agree with andrewofgg I always stop talking when a waiter/waitress brings food to my table, I think it's very rude to continue talking as if they weren't there. They were possibly doing it out of respect - not secret business!

Dh is a very straight bloke there is no way he would be involved in anything 'weird' or 'secret,' I have been with him for over 20 years so know him pretty well.

If anyone's interested, I could look out my strange little book with the cryptic descriptions of what goes on and copy out a couple of paragraphs. But you'll not be left much wiser!

Or look on the internet, google is a marvellous thing

There was another thread a while back and a mason came on and answered all the questions about what they do and what the words mean - I just leave dh to it, it's his thing not mine.

www.crayfordlodge.org.uk/becomingamason/index.html

I just google initiation ceromonies and came up with that.

dotnet, they don't just cut your tongue out. They stake you to the foreshore at the incoming of the tide,
Apart from that they're really very transparent.

When my dad died at 11 his lodge paid for me to go to the Masonic school, paid for the extras and my mum maintenance each term. They also paid for my education until I left uni. We have had good experiences. I think now they are being more open.

The Masons are very generous to charity.

Anywhere where men can form single-sex little "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine," networks, where women are either totally excluded or allowed in on special unfavourable terms, eg as guests, should be burned to the ground.

I would include Gentlemens' Clubs and a great many golf clubs in my arson, as well as the Freemasons.

Nowhere that accepts paid membership in any form, or that has more than a token number of members should be able to be single sex anyway.

What terrible bigotry and ignorance. From what I have experienced of Freemasonry from my father, uncles and grandfathers it is an honourable and truely charitable organisation. You should be delighted that your husband is considering such a path. Hitler also persecuted freemasons.

So what about Scouts, Brownies, The WI etc ?

Scouts admit girls. Brownies jolly well ought to admit any boys who want to join, and so should the WI.

None of those examples offer quite the same business opportunities, or chances to get a job through the back door as the ones I've used.

It's an anti-Catholic organisation. Or was, originally.

Most definitely is NOT anti Catholic as dh is one! They require you to have a belief/faith that is all, they do not dictate which one.

No - it admits Catholics. The Church tells them not to join the Masons.

In the end, who you mix with socially is your business. Not the business of your neighbourhood arsonist.