AIBU to give DH a hard time about joining freemasons?

[Rachtoteach]

I think the answer is probably, yes. But I am a bit ignorant about the whole thing I suppose but all I can see at the mo is it's a bid weird, it's the first time in our relationship he has acted 'secretively' towards me, it costs money to join (and we dont have any to spare). I'm feeling really fed up but know IABU as he is a wonderful hubby and father, hardly ever goes out socially etc, and he seems really keen.

Any thoughts ladies? x

Is a female mason a maisonette?

FIL's dad said words to that effect and he was in the bloody organisation!

That was my impression of the Freemasons, but I'd never come up with such a neat description!

Well it did enable me to go to private school and paid maintencence to my mum when my dad died. Freemasons also funded me through uni too, so that was good. Yes they do look after their own. My friend asked me to join her female lodge, but I am not keen and dh would not be pleased either

I know of someone who lost his job for being a mason. He was a public servant and his work contract didn't allow him to be a member of an organisation that didn't have open membership. It all came to a head because there were problems with a contract he as overseeing, and the contractor was also a member of the same lodge. Such "friendships" are no doubt the reason why many "do well" out of being a mason.

YANBU. DP has been asked lots of times but refuses to join.

My mums ex-dp was a mason, he went to the meetings, never really said much else about it.

He was policeman, dont know how it helped him. I know when he retired he still had to take a part time job so the looking after aspect makes me wonder if they really did.

"What do they actually do?"

Put fireplaces in for nowt, I assume.

My sister's ex-husband was or is a member and she had to wear a dress to the dos as opposed to trousers.

dh is one, they mainly raise money for charities and network,nothing more sinister.

Always makes me think of men who never got over being kicked out of the cubs when they got too old. Ridiculous behaviour.. secret codes and handshakes...

Common Purpose is another creepy, culty organisation like the Masons and bizarrely its very expensive to do undertake their Scientology like training courses.

Dh has also been invited to join a few times and turned them down politely just in case

My dsd (that's step dad) is one. He loves it
I like the idea of men having something they can do as a hobby but my dp wouldn't be one and I'm about that

On the plus side if he dies they will look after you and the kids if you need financial help. However you may be invited to the most awfully boring ladies nights. My brother is a freemason and so were my father and grandfather. My husband has been asked many times and we have had a good laugh about it. I think they are generally harmless but dull

I have been on a Common Purpose training course. Nothing creepy or culty about them at all.

My ExDH was a mason, and it was the one good thing about him. I knew quite a few other masons and was allowed a bit of insight into their traditions and internal policies.

I know it's a boys only club, but the chapters I have seen are not racist nor classist, and they do an incredible amount of charity work (the one I knew about provided significant financial support for a womans crisis centre), and they do help each other out. One of my friends dad was made redundant and through his masonic connections his family was provided for, for 4 months while he found another job.

I think it's a good thing, and if you're that worried, why don't you look into joining one of the "sister mason" groups?

My Dad is a Freemason. I think it is fine, good that he has a social life out of it. I think my mum gets a bit fed up with time learning lines though. Just think of it like scouts for adults dib dib dib, pledges etc :)

Its always reminded me of the posh boys Hells Angels except without the fun

I am sorry, some members do undertake nefarious activities under the guise of belonging.

There are plenty of other ways of being educated as an orphan and being provided for as a widow without condoning things that can quite often lead to serious conflicts of interest.

When I was in the sixth form at school, two of the other girls had Saturday jobs as waitresses for Lodge meetings. Apparently, there was usually a stripper!

I would be unhappy with it. But then DP would never join in a million years and is about as likely to be asked. :)

My ExDH was a mason, and it was the one good thing about him. I knew quite a few other masons and was allowed a bit of insight into their traditions and internal policies

I know it's a boys only club, but the chapters I have seen are not racist nor classist, and they do an incredible amount of charity work (the one I knew about provided significant financial support for a womans crisis centre), and they do help each other out. One of my friends dad was made redundant and through his masonic connections his family was provided for, for 4 months while he found another job

I think it's a good thing, and if you're that worried, why don't you look into joining one of the "sister mason" groups?

Good post. We have nothing but positive experiences since dh joined, my dad was one too but different lodge. It's mainly charity work and they raise an incredible amount, iirc it's only the national lottery that raises more. Dh has never been secretive, nor has my dad, maybe it used to be but ime it's not now.

It costs £100 a year subscription and at dh's lodge the meals are about £20 and you don't have to go to many - I think he goes to about 3 a year.

It's dh's 'thing' and I am not interested at all so never go to any of the evening do's. I meet up with my friends every month or so and see dh going to his lodge as the same thing, don't think he has as much fun as I do as he sees it as an extention of work.

I think it's easy to ridicule things you know little about - do a bit more research OP and take it from there. Is your dh keen? Dh joined purely for net working and making contacts and career wise it was been very good for him.

Secret codes etc - it's only like Scouts dibbing and dobbing or whatever they do, nothing sinister! I know all the words as I had to test dh

My friends dad was looked after by them when he was orphaned, sent him to a masonic boarding school, they do look after 'their own.'

Bloody hell, that was an essay!

He will be asked if his DW knows and approves of his joining. If he says No to either he will not be admitted. If he lies and says Yes that is not the fault of the members!

The secrecy is really no more than a slightly obsessive privacy. It is also the exercise of the right of freedom of association.