to wonder how I might cope without any antenatal classes

[dozyrosie]

I'm 28 weeks pg with dc 1. I have seen so many different community midwives because my regular midwife (who I've only seen once) is on long term sick leave. At my appointment today I asked when I would hear about my antenatal classes starting as they had not even been mentioned to me yet.
It seems that my paperwork for the classes has been lost or forgotten about. So I have not been booked in to the local NHS classes, she said that it would probably be to late to get me in to any but would see what she could do last minute. I should have probably kicked up more of a fuss there and then but her appointments were running an hour and a half late and I wasn't really sure what to say.
I've just looked in to local NCT classes and there are no spaces available for January or February due dates. Even if I could find a place on a private class I would struggle to afford it as it is not something I had budgeted for at all.
Did any of you have to go without antenatal classes? How did you manage without them if you were a first time mum? What would you do if you were me?

I'm a Mum of 3 and never went to an ante natal class in my life.

It's hard to say what I'd do if I were you

Why is it you actually want to go to them?

I had no antenatal classes with DS1. He was my first and was an easier birth than DS2 who I did all the usual prep stuff with - classes, swimming etc. Basically you can read up on all you need to know and your body will have the baby when the time comes (or you will have whatever intervention is needed). But it is nice to feel prepared and to meet other mums to be. I'm glad I did the classes 2nd time round even though the yoga positions and breathing went out the window!

I didn't go to antenatal classes either, my sons made it to adulthood ok. :)

I went to them with DS1, found them a complete and utter waste of time! But then I have friends who found them so good, they went with DC1,2,3 etc etc. Possibly not much help I know, but I personally think you will be fine without them!

I went to mine and they weren't very good and no opportunities to meet other new mums either as the midwife leading the classes talked the whole time. You'll learn more from mumsnet tbh.

I didn't learn anything in my NHS antenatal class that I hadn't read in my pregnancy book. Any questions I asked could easily have been answered during any routine appointments with the midwife. With regards to meeting people, I've met all my new mum friends through NCT coffee mornings since my DS was born - which are free!

I didn't 'have to go without' any classes, I chose not to. I simply didn't see any point. I had family to ask, books to consult, midwives I could ask questions to at my antenatal appointments (and MN to ask by the time I had second DC!) I have no idea what they do or subjects they cover at the classes - I'm sure a lot of people must find them useful or they wouldn't do them - but I coped fine without them, and I don't actually know any parents who did go to them.

If you're confident that you'll be able to work things out yourself, then you can probably skip any classes. If you really think you'll need extra help, then maybe try to find the money to do it.

just had DS (my 1st) and I went to our local NHS antenatal class (singular).

When DH and I came out the overwhelming sentiment was that it was an hour and a half of our lives we wouldn't get back!

I wouldn't bother next time, plus as we sat in a circle and were talked at there wasn't any opportunity to meet anyone.

Ive got 3 and the 1 and only class I went to I found a bit boring and patronising so that was that!

Ummm ..... personal perspective ..... women have been having babies for thousands of years ...... you dont need twattery irritants reeading from a text book at you.

Did it once, never again.

Oh and the last thing I would have wanted after I had my DS1...who never slept a bloody wink, would have been a group of new Mums telling me how their little Princes/Princesses sleep all the time!

My NCT ones were shit, woman mumbled and didn't know what she was doing half the time. The only valuable thing was the other woman in the class who was on her 5th baby and had had an EMCS, and was a gyne scrub nurse! When I had my EMCS, everything happened exactly as she'd described so I wasn't scared at all.

NHS antenatal classes didn't tell me much I hadn't already learned from books and the internet. The only valuable part was the hospital tour.

Honestly, you'll probably be fine! Just read up a lot and try to talk to some people who have recently given birth at the hospital you'll be going to.

TBH you forget about everything you learnt as soon as you go into labour . They are no more useful than a pregnancy book. I quite enjoyed meeting other pregnant mums but a lot of sure start centres run bumps and babies groups if that's your thing.

Just have a chat with your midwife about what to expect.
My first DC arrived the week before my class - we both managed fine.

I never went to any because the thought of it made me crrrringe.
My point of view was : I'm having a baby, I'll figure it out and maybe read an article on the internet.

I managed fine.

I actually was better off for it as I didn't have to kowtow to any 'nct politics'.

My only word of advice would be- Epidurals are a wonderful thing.

Other people will differ but aahhhh. Seriously. Pain relief = almost heaven.

I went to antenatal classes and honestly they were utter shit. The chairs were ridiculously uncomfortable so I spent the entire time shifting about trying to settle my pregnant heft into some sort of manageable position, the midwife was patronising and boring and we weren't given any opportunity to talk to the other couples so I didn't make any friends. All I remember from them is being tired, sore and pissed off. You're not missing anything. If you have any questions ask them here, you'll get great responses. Also, it's a good idea to watch One Born Every Minute to get a realistic idea of what might happen on the big day.

I have never been to an antenatal class either and have somehow managed with 3 DCs . They only offer them to first-time mums here & I was in hospital with pre-eclampsia by the time mine were due to start.

You'll be just fine .

No, I had two children, no ante natal classes. I just read loads, I dont think I found the experience of giving birth very different to those who went to classes. I lived in the middle of nowhere, with no public transport, so there was no chance of me getting to one. It was a brilliant excuse really, I think I would have hated it! You ll do fine - you only need to come onto MN if there is anything you need to know! I bet collectively we are far better than any ante natal class in the land!

The nct philosophy was originally based on the idea that fear makes pain worse and fear is worsened by ignorance. Luckily nowadays you can access so much info about the stages of birth, pain relief etc online. Maybe you cpuld also book onto a hospital tour. Personally I'd spend the money on hypnotism - see that derren brown show where the men sit in freezing water and think it's warm? That'as the kind of hypnosis that wpould work wonders!

The nct philosophy was originally based on the idea that fear makes pain worse and fear is worsened by ignorance. Luckily nowadays you can access so much info about the stages of birth, pain relief etc online. Maybe you cpuld also book onto a hospital tour. Personally I'd spend the money on hypnotism - see that derren brown show where the men sit in freezing water and think it's warm? That'as the kind of hypnosis that wpould work wonders!

I did the NCT classes and some hospital classes. I think the most useful bits of the hospital classes were the breast feeding class - how your breast works to produce milk, I had no idea! And the class about what happens if intervention is needed, when, why, tools they use e.g. Forceps, ventouse and caesarean.

The NCT classes were most useful for getting to know other people in my area who were also having babies at the same time. I knew virtually no one in the area of London that I lived in other than dh and the next door neighbours!

Read loads and then call NCT and ask if they are running any post natal coffee mornings that you can join.

worraliberty - I was just concerned that the classes would cover something that the books and MN didn't. But from the answers I've got so far that's not the case.

picnicbasketcase - even if I can find the money for a private ones there local classes with any space before my due date.

I think I just need to be brave and trust my instincts and what I have learnt so far. Failing that I can always use the various fountains of knowledge there are out there, like MN for example.

The NCT reduce / waive their fees if you're on a low income. Might be worth calling them to see if they can squeeze you in somewhere!

I found my NCT course really helpful and balanced with loads of info about lots of different ways of labouring and giving birth (including c sections!) we had a good teacher.

I was like you! I got into the set that have just started now. I've done 2 of 4 and I'm due this week but it was the best they could do.

Week 1 we did the stages of labour
Week 2 we did pain relief
Week 3 is to be breast feeding
Week 4 is a tour of one of the local maternity units, but not the one I plan to use.

I haven't learned anything new about birth but was surprised how little the other attendees knew about it, so they probably suit people who want to be told things rather than ones that want to find out. They have been helpful to me purely because the midwife running them works in the new local birthing centre which sounds ace and meets all my birthing requirements, so I've been asking a lot about that.

I think a hospital visit is worthwhile, I gave mine a ring, found out when they do tours and then just turned up one week.

If you really fancy antenatal classes your group/area admin can ring round other areas to see if there's a space anywhere.

Good luck :)

Two children, no ante natal, no parenting manuals, just a healthy dose of self reflection and common sense and we seem to be managing ok so far!

I didn't really feel the need for it, but I'm a bit squeamish and tend to faint at the drop of a hat so demonstrations of birth or talk about 'interventions' would have been lethal for me!