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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how I might cope without any antenatal classes

101 replies

dozyrosie · 08/11/2011 22:56

I'm 28 weeks pg with dc 1. I have seen so many different community midwives because my regular midwife (who I've only seen once) is on long term sick leave. At my appointment today I asked when I would hear about my antenatal classes starting as they had not even been mentioned to me yet.
It seems that my paperwork for the classes has been lost or forgotten about. So I have not been booked in to the local NHS classes, she said that it would probably be to late to get me in to any but would see what she could do last minute. I should have probably kicked up more of a fuss there and then but her appointments were running an hour and a half late and I wasn't really sure what to say.
I've just looked in to local NCT classes and there are no spaces available for January or February due dates. Even if I could find a place on a private class I would struggle to afford it as it is not something I had budgeted for at all.
Did any of you have to go without antenatal classes? How did you manage without them if you were a first time mum? What would you do if you were me?

OP posts:
teacoupons · 08/11/2011 23:47

I am a mother of two and didn't go. I learned everything I felt I needed to and had lovely natural labours and births on both. Yes, things went awry but were dealt with and I had a positive experience without antenatal.

ArlingtonStringham · 09/11/2011 00:11

Didn't bother with any either here... Pretty pointless if you are like me, I researched everything extensively myself. Don't have any burning desire to 'meet other mums' either particularly as a load of my existing friends are either pregnant or planning on kids very soon. My son is 9 weeks and we are doing fine so far after a great (if rather long!) natural labour and birth. Don't worry if you can't go, women have been having babies without classes for thousands of years..

wherearemysocks · 09/11/2011 00:15

I agree, my ante natal classes were pretty much a waste of time, especially when these days there is so much information out there for you to research anyway.

But do try and get a tour of the maternity ward where you are booked in.

NatashaBee · 09/11/2011 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sayithowitis · 09/11/2011 00:56

Due to a multitude of problems with my pregnancies, I spent around four months out of nine, in hospital each time. and when I was at home, I was not allowed to leave the house without another adult to accompany me! So, I didn't attend any ante-natal classes at all. When DC1 was born, I had an amazing midwife who held my hand as she gave DH and me a crash course in 'breathing'. I had not read any books etc and had also deliberately avoided 'helpful' comments from friends about how bad they had it when in labour. And guess what? My DCs were born just the same as most people's, both labours were reasonable straightforward, both babies born safe and healthy ( good sizes too - 9lb and in excess of 10lb). Both DCs were fine and don't appear to have suffered any bad effects because their mother didn't attend any ante-natal classes.

Both DCs now adults so I suspect the time for bad side effects has now passed. Grin

Don't know what I would suggest you do - it sounds as though you would like to attend a session or two and given that it seems to be the fault of the hospital, I might be tempted to take it further. But honestly, neither me nor my Dcs suffered at all. The labour and birth will happen regardless. Millions of women around the world don't have the luxury of classes, yet they manage to give birth!

Good luck, whatever you decide. Smile

ZonkedOut · 09/11/2011 01:25

I went to the NHS one at the hospital I was booked into for DD1. It was mostly common sense and basic stuff. We didn't learn a lot and didn't make friends there - we never saw anyone there again. We didn't even get a hospital tour, as the maternity wing was closed to all but immediate family due to the winter vomiting bug.

With DD2, I didn't go to any class, and don't feel like I missed anything. In both cases, my birth wasn't straightforward, and wasn't really covered by the class anyway, probably under the category of not wanting to scare us....

So, don't fret the class, but maybe call the hospital yourself and ask if you can have a tour.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and labour.

NotnOtter · 09/11/2011 01:35

I never had any
during first delivery midwife asked me if id had them - i said no
she said 'when i say - pant' I did - job done!!

NotnOtter · 09/11/2011 01:36

i read nothing either - was early 90's -no mumsnet- no internet - had one book

ComradeJing · 09/11/2011 02:48

I missed mine. I read books, MN, Gurgle (which is a first time mums website but a bit huns), and spoke to Dr and friends.

My only advice is to treat your birth plan as a loose guide and not the 10 commandments and make sure your birth partner (DP or who ever) will bat for you if there is something you're not willing to budge on.

catgirl1976 · 09/11/2011 06:05

Miner were a total waste of time. They followed the same "curriculum" as handbagcrabs above and I agree the only thing of any real use was the hospital tour as you can see waht to expect, but again this can be organised off your own bat - my local hospital does the tours every Sunday for example.

I couldn't really see the point of them otherwise. No one spoke to each other so it wasn't useful from a "meeting" people POV and the woman running it was so wet it wasnt true. We spent AN HOUR listing things we might or might not need for a new baby whilst she wrote them on a board (nappies? any one not thought of nappies?). We also watched a video that suggested you might want to talk to your baby. Perhaps in the language you are most comfortable with? Hmm

I don't think you will miss much based on mine :)

ChrissasMissis · 09/11/2011 06:23

I did the NCT ante-natal classes. In terms of birth preparation, well, not much can really prepare you for that! That said, if you're like me and like to KNOW as much about a subject as you possibly can, then they'd be helpful. What I have found them most useful for was meeting six of the loveliest girls who have become great friends and a terrific source of support. Worth the fee alone.

Barbeasty · 09/11/2011 06:30

If you can't get on any, it might be worth finding your local breastfeeding group and going along before you're due and asking for any advice they have. Actually I think that's worth doing anyway, so you know where it is etc.

Get on a tour of where you plan to give birth.

Ask if they can make an extra midwife appointment to run through what pain relief is on offer (it can differ depending on where you give birth) and what interventions are possible. Our most useful class was the cheerfully titled "what can go wrong"

Check out your local NCT bumps and babies coffee mornings. Our local one happened to be run by an NCT teacher (who worked on the local maternity unit) and a trainee teacher. They were generous with their info, and then you tend to get new mums who can give you pointers about the local hospital/ maternity unit etc.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/11/2011 06:49

Owing to a mix-up similar to yours and owing to being admitted to hospital for a few weeks I managed to attend one solitary class. However, it was the class on 'problem births' which turned out to be very relevant when the time came and meant that what happened to me was far less concerning than it might have been. I think for all the nice stuff like relaxation techniques, bathing your baby, birth plans etc., you can pick information up from friends and elsewhere. But I would recommend asking your midwife to run through with you a few 'what happens if it doesn't all go swimmingly well' scenarios. Be as well-informed as you can be.

storminabuttercup · 09/11/2011 07:08

I went as my midwife point blank refused to answer birth related questions as 'all this is covered in the classes so go to them' Hmm

I had already read enough on here to know what I needed to, and reading on here meant I could avoid certain things I didn't want to know

I found the classes patronising, there was one session where they took us on a tour of the hospital and did a session on breast feeding. They showed us the ML unit, where 'all the normal women' give birth, I was the only one not able to go there as I was under consultant care, but it was ok the midwife made sure everyone knew I couldn't! Hmm

The breast feeding session made me angry as it wasn't factual at all, as someone who completely agrees that breast is best and all that I couldn't help but feel Angry when the midwife claimed that it is CLINICALLY PROVEN that bf babies are loved more by their mothers! I had to get her to repeat this to make sure I hadn't misheard! I'm still Confused and Sad to this day for any mums who were told that then couldn't bf! I personally couldn't but I'm quite aware that her 'fact' was bollocks!

Stay on mn for any questions you have, you'll get a varied response because every mother, every birth and every baby is different! That's something they can't teach you! Smile

JambalayaCodfishPie · 09/11/2011 07:08

I never attended. I was 19 and felt like I was being patronised enough by midwives already.

I had a 3 hour labour with no problems.

Agree with watching One born every minute if youve no experience of birth at all, just to understand how noisy the whole situation can be! :)

diddl · 09/11/2011 07:55

My first was born pre 30 weeks, so before any classes would have begun and I never heard about any for my second.

NinkyNonker · 09/11/2011 07:57

I went to NHS ones, and to be honest there was nothing I hadn't read on the internet or talked to the midwife about.

Iscreamtea · 09/11/2011 07:59

I went to NHS classes with my first and they were such a waste of time. I didn't learn anything. I learnt a lot more from the parenting forum that I used at the time. There wasn't anything about breathing or positions in them. They pretty much just handed out pain relief leaflets telling you about epidurals etc. I didn't bother at all with DC2 and 3. I'd just make use of the internet to find out what you need to know and ask on here.

NoobyNoob · 09/11/2011 08:10

I didn't go to any and I managed just fine. Women coped before without then so I'm sure you'll be fine!

OatcakeCravings · 09/11/2011 08:12

I didn't get to mine as my DS was premature so was born the week I was due to start them. My DS is now 3.5 and I've managed!!

Fuzzywood · 09/11/2011 08:17

The most useful thing about ours was the hospital tour, nice to know where you need to go and not to be in a completely strange place. But our local MLU will let you have a look around if you give them a call so you could just do that. Good luck!

MenopausalHaze · 09/11/2011 08:26

YY to everyone who never went to one! I was more Hmm at the idea of ante-natal classes than at the idea of giving birth! Even now, many years later, I am still puzzled at the concept and I can still think of nothing worse!

AChickenCalledKorma · 09/11/2011 08:31

If I was you, I would ask your midwife if it's possible to book a tour of the maternity unit at the hospital (assuming you're giving birth in hospital). It's well worth doing that, so that you (a) are in slightly familiar surroundings and (b) know how to get there quickly!!!

Personally, I'd also book a special appt with the midwife, so that she can talk you through options for pain relief etc in your area. Most of the other information you can get on here, but there might be local things you should know. And if she doesn't want to spend the time, remind her that it's her fault you aren't going to any classes Grin.

jenduck · 09/11/2011 08:32

Haven't read the whole thread so don't know if anybody has suggested this, but if your local swimming pool does aquanatal classes, these are usually run by a sports instructor with pretty good knowledge of pregnancy/childbirth & they teach you breathing exercises & other ways to relax & troubleshoot certain problems eg exercise to do if baby needs to turn etc. The instructor also knew lots of midwives & other healthcare professionals dealing with birth so would probably be able to put you in touch with anybody if needed.

The ones I went to cost around £5 per week & you could attend from 14 weeks up to your due date (or later in my case as I was 10 days over)! I also found them a fantastic way to make friends.

If you want to tour local maternity units/hospitals, they may well be able to arrange something if you or your midwife rings up & explains your situation.

Good luck!

diddl · 09/11/2011 08:47

As I put earlier, I didn´t go to any-but would have been interested in a look around the hospital before having 2nd.
(1st was a home birth)