to wonder how I might cope without any antenatal classes

[dozyrosie]

I'm 28 weeks pg with dc 1. I have seen so many different community midwives because my regular midwife (who I've only seen once) is on long term sick leave. At my appointment today I asked when I would hear about my antenatal classes starting as they had not even been mentioned to me yet.
It seems that my paperwork for the classes has been lost or forgotten about. So I have not been booked in to the local NHS classes, she said that it would probably be to late to get me in to any but would see what she could do last minute. I should have probably kicked up more of a fuss there and then but her appointments were running an hour and a half late and I wasn't really sure what to say.
I've just looked in to local NCT classes and there are no spaces available for January or February due dates. Even if I could find a place on a private class I would struggle to afford it as it is not something I had budgeted for at all.
Did any of you have to go without antenatal classes? How did you manage without them if you were a first time mum? What would you do if you were me?

Depends a bit on what you're doing them for - practical advice about your local hospital policies? Help with getting thru labour/what's going to happen? Trying to make things easier for the birth? Or meeting other mummies?

I'd say actually that the NHS ones are a complete and utter waste of time for all of those reasons. Ours were 3 classes, one of which was spent explaining how you got pregnant in the first place, another on nutrition - including why booze is bad and fruit/veg is good - and finally one where they described what would happen in labour... Which told me absolutely nothing new, didn't give a tour round the actual labour ward and wasn't given by any of the midwives who worked there!!

Second time round the midwife asked me if I wanted to do them - I did catch her eye and said that yes, actually I knew how I'd got pregnant and we had a giggle.

I agree with most of the others on here: OP, you will be fine. I've found MN far more informative than anything at my antenatal class/

Ha ha - in mine the midwife passed round a bag and we each had to pick something out and talk about it i.e. a maternity pad - nice!

I am actually glad that DH and I attended the one day session - more for DH than me as I know he would never have picked up a book about childbirth etc.

It wasn't necessary though - the birth would have been the same without attending. My midwife suggested that I ask for the birth pool at my last ante-natal appointment so we would have done that anyway.

Mum of two; I went to 1 antenatal class with first PG and spent the whole time being so self conscious about being the only single parent there that I never went back. That's it for my entire antenatal story and I just read books on the subject after that.
In fact that's a lie - I had books on the subject but reading more than half of the fist page made me feel queasy and panicked so I managed without!
Btw, both births were straightforward and didn't use pain relief for DC2.

I wouldnt worry at all. They are utterly useless (the one I went to last year was anyway). Patronising, pointless and never learned a single thing. They had booked me in for 5 sessions, an hour per session, and they clearly couldnt fill the time. So they padded it out with -

Demonstrating what happens in a baby massage class you may attend when your baby is 6 weeks old (midwife rubbing a doll's foot while everyone sat and watched for half a bloody hour)

Having people pretend to be a pelvis (!) while everybody squirmed with embarrassement

Watching a midwife do an impression of someone on heroin, to demonstrate the effects of the natural endorphins that apparently kick in once you are in labour

Asking stupid questions that were so stupid and basic and insulting that I cannot turn my brain down sufficiently to give you an example.

We went to two of the 5, the second one being our of sheer fascination

I went to the NHS ante natal class that my community midwife recommended as being the "best" of the NHS ones in our big town. If that was the best then I hate to think of what the worst would be like.

It was a waste of time.

Our council ran antenatal classes for dads, it was a one-day course talking about how to help in labour, basics like nappy changing and baths, and letting the guys talk about what kind of fathers they want to be. My DH went to it and really liked it! So it might be worth seeing if something like that is around.

(They were part of a strategy to reduce high family breakdown rates in our area so I know they don't have them everywhere.)

I went to the NHS antenatal and it was rubbish, six hours on uncomfortable chairs and nothing I couldn't get from reading the leaflets at my midwives'. Plus hilariously incorrect claims like 'No woman has ever pooed in childbirth'

I went to ours, there were only three though, one where they did stages of birth, which was quite physiological, the second one was pain relief and managing your pain (i.e. pre pain relief, e.g. ways to distract yourself an handle contractions in early labour), and the third one was interventions and the hospital tour.

As other have said you can do the hospital tour yourself (I found this useful and you can see e.g. which rooms have birthing pools in, if that's something you want, and you know what to ask for), the interventions one was a bit meh because TBH if you need one of those, it's not really going to help knowing what e.g. a ventouse looks like.

The one about stages of labour you can read on the internet or in a book, and pain relief, again you can do some reading, and ask questions here. I found asking here was way more useful than asking in class, because you get 50 people's experiences and opinions rather than just what one midwife thinks.

So go to them if you can and want to, but if you can't, don't worry, you can do the planning and prep yourself.

D

I missed about half of my NHS classes because I was already in hospital. It would have been nice to have had them- they were good classes and very well run by experienced midwives, but it's not as if you can't get the information elsewhere these days.

The one about where to park was quite useful but the rest were just a complete waste of time

To be honest, at the time I thought they were useless but when dd was born, she had to be resuscitated because she had pooed, She was whisked away and it was all very dramatic but we had been told that this sometimes happens in the antenatal class, so at least we knew what was going on. So I guess they weren't totally useless.

I didn't bother with them when I had ds. If you really want them, then fight your corner, it is their cock up not yours.

The bit I found useful was the breastfeeding stuff but there's loads of support out there if you make sure you ask for it/ find it after the birth. The rest of it was pretty obvious, my birthplan was ignorance is bliss and it was a perfect labour in and out within 3 hours!

NCT is the expensive (and not always great) option. Look for a local yoga for pregnancy class and ring the teacher to find out what she'd recommend.

Better to be prepared than not.

I got a lot out of my NHS class, it was just one (really long!) weekend session, but it was pretty thorough and told us a lot about the details of the actual hospital we were going to and their preferences/techniques.

I would push to try and get on one of the courses they've organised already... if you can't you could probably get the same effect by asking lots of detailed questions to your MW, or ask to see the plan for the classes so you can bring it back at your next app with any questions you had.

I didn't have anything other than the NHS classes, as I couldn't afford it, and don't feel I missed anything.

For various reasons, I didn't go to any classes -
DD1 was born early and although I had booked for NCT classes, she arrived the day before the first one.
With DD2 I thought I'd do NHS classes, only to find you're not allowed to here if you aren't planning to birth in the nearest hospital.

In fact DD2 was born in the car, without the benefit of any ante-natal classes or professional assistance, and it was all fine! I'm not sure I would have remembered any of it anyway - I mostly went for the shouting very loudly school of childbirth practice!

I have just received a last minute invite to an NHS class, it's not local but I'd be able to get there if DP drives us (I don't drive and the bus service is shit at best). He is now willing and keen to go, but having seen all your posts I'm not sure I'm that bothered. DP works late shifts so would not have to book time off work and I'll be looking for something to keep me occupied at the start of my mat leave. I might just go to save me from watching Jeremy Vile.
Not that the classes will change my original birth plan; simply do what ever it takes to deliver DD as safely as possible without a c section (I'm high risk and under consultant care). I guess I could possibly come away with at least a little useful advice.
Thank you for all your very reassuring advice though. I'm sure that MN is a far greater source of sensible, varied and very honest advice than any class I'd be able to find.

i never went

i went to yoga, read up wrote up my own birth plan but kept in mind that my birth may not go to plan. i felt very relaxed and was not scared at all

i think yoga really helped me relax

I did the NHS ones, they were good but didn't really tell me anything I didn't know already or that I couldn't have found out from books or asking on Internet forums. I also did a tour of the hospital, this was separate, maybe you could ask about this? Personally if I hadn't been able to do the NHs ones, I wouldn't have wanted to pay for private classes as I think they are far too expensive and it wouldn't have been worth the money, for me.

Just saw your last post, I would go to them if you've been offered, especially if your dh is keen to go. The other thing is, they also give you advice on what to take to hospital, this seems to vary from hospital to hospital, as does the availability of different types of pain relief, e.g I had remi fentinolwhich didn't seem to be available everywhere (may be defender now, my dc are 5 and 3.)
And I was able to put my name down to hire a tens machine from the hospital for free, which I wouldn't have known about otherwise.

I didn't go to mine.

I did go to Aquanatal though which I loved.

I went one NHS class. It was pointless really. Just went on about how first time labour takes ages and ages and a bit about different types of pain relief. Nothing about breathing techniques or anything. There was supposed to be a tour of the ward but the woman who did them was always off sick. I know people who did find their classes invaluable though. Maybe you could go along to one and see what you think? If I recall correctly, we did get some quite good juice at ours (Robinsons summer fruits) so, you know, not a total waste of time.

I went to one on how to use a TENS machine, which was good. However the NHS ones were worse than useless, in 1988.

The video showed a woman with a beehive hairdo giving birth without her mascara running, her lipstick smudging or her hair getting messed up.

The plastic pelvis was from a different set to the plastic baby, so when we were having the mechanics of labour described, the teacher had to take the head off the baby before it would go through the pelvis.

Despite the fact that no-one in the class planned to use square terry nappies (I'd already bought some of the shaped ones) we all had to practise kite-folding and the other fold. There weren't enough Tiny Tears dolls, so some of us had practise putting a square nappy on a teen doll with breasts.

We were told that the first thing we had to do once we realised we were in labour was to make up sandwiches and a thermos flask for our husbands, to make sure they were ok whilst we were giving birth.

etc etc etc.

Second time round I asked if I could do the TENS one again, as a refresher, as I'd found the first one so helpful. It was good too. Needless to say, I didn't want any more of the ante-natal classes.

Our NHS classes were an utter waste of time, mainly because of the other parents to be! Completely juvenile and I really felt for the poor midwife trying to run the session.

Our NCT classes on the other hand were fabulous. DH got a lot out of them and they really helped me stay focused during my very epic (3 days from 2cm-10cm) labour. We were given a lot of info about assisted delivery which helped when DD was born via ventouse.

Still meet up with the girls every week and the Dads have a night out together every couple of months.

I coped without any classes, DS was my first and he came early - was due to start classes the following Thursday... The midwife who delivered him was lovely and explained everything including options etc