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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send school a link to a bullying arsehole's facebook page?

85 replies

FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 17:52

My son has been making videos of himself and uploading them onto youtube. I warned him this would make him a target for bullying (along with everything else he does Angry but he said he didn't care.

Needless to say I've just come across a facebook page belonging to a little shit who thought it would be hillarious to link to my son's youtube channel with comments such as "this kid is such a fucking wierdo" and "what a fag". This has been followed up with comments from like-minded kids encouraging it saying DS is a freak and a tit etc.

DS says he doesn't care at all.

I did warn him this would happen.

Do I let him learn from it and rise above it or send a link to the school? They're 13 btw.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 04/11/2011 17:55

Is it an open page? The school might not have access to it if your DS is friends with him.

You could print it off and arrange a meeting with the head of year. This sort of behaviour online needs addressing.

Mouseface · 04/11/2011 17:55

I'm tempted to say let him learn from it but then again it's not nice is it....... I'm not sure what the school could do.

What sort of policy do they have for Internet bullying?

Sevenfold · 04/11/2011 17:56

report it to fb,
not sure what the school can do, they can't police pupils 24/7

TheFidgetySheep · 04/11/2011 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reelingintheyears · 04/11/2011 17:56

This happened to my DS.

I warned him too but a twat at school actually set up a page with a photo of DS having his head yanked back by his hair.

Report it to FB and they will delete.

We fell out big time with SIL who fucking 'liked' it!

Said she thought it was a joke.

Twat!

And yes,send it to the school...homophobic bullying online with the 'fag' comments.

JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 17:57

Very tricky. On the one hand, the other kids are being nasty and abusive - the "fag" thing is particularly nasty, and maybe the school should know about that - but if your son does not perceive himself to be being bullied, then maybe he is not being bullied?

How would your son feel about you reporting it?

worraliberty · 04/11/2011 17:58

As nasty as they're being, your son has risen above it and (as long as he's telling the truth) he really doesn't care.

Whenever anyone puts themselves out there to 'entertain' (I assume that's what the video is for?) then they invite criticism and it's not always nice or constructive.

X Factor and BGT spring to mind.

CarrieInAnotherBabi · 04/11/2011 18:00

if your ds is truely not bothered, be careful not to make to big a deal out of it.

JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:01

worral - I agree about X factor. Those programmes have made it acceptable to say horrible insensitive things to people, who are fair game because they "invited it"

JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:02

Mind you, to go against what I said above, maybe bullies only carry on because, rather than being challenged on it, they move on to someone else when someone like you son doesn't complain

FlamingoBingo · 04/11/2011 18:04

Um...should we all stop doing things that don't conform for fear of bullying? I think bravo to your son for being so brave and self-confident. You've obviously given him a heap of good self-esteem.

Don't encourage him to not do things for fear of bullying - encourage him to do what he feels comfortable doing, and support him in the aftermath.

JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:05

Flamingo - Oh I agree that no-one should be forced to change for fear of bullying.
But would you report the bullies?

FlamingoBingo · 04/11/2011 18:05

ps. Can't you report it to FB as inciting hate against an individual? Or is it just fanpages you can do that with?

I don't think you shouldn't report it, btw, just a bit disheartened by your idea to 'let him learn from it', which essentially means you're trying to teach him that he should conform - squeeze and mould himself to fit what a bunch of bullies think he should fit. Do you really want that for him? I think you should be proud of him!

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:05

Grrr I'm so angry. I'm angry at DS too though because he deliberatly goes out to make a show of himself and even if he doesn't care, I do and I have so much on my mind right now I can really be doing without it. Yes that sounds selfish but for gods sake, why go out of your way to attract bad attention????

Just been reading the thread. 3 different people laughing about what a "fucking wierdo" he is. I've just blown up a bit at DS Sad who responded with "if it wasn't the video it would be something else, I'm not going to stop doing stuff I enjoy to please a load of arseholes I don't even like".

Morally, he's right. But sweet jesus I've had this with him since he started primary school. I honestly can't wait until he leaves school completely.

OP posts:
FlamingoBingo · 04/11/2011 18:06

LOL X-post, Jamie. Yes, definitely report the bullies - just to make absolutely clear! Smile

FlamingoBingo · 04/11/2011 18:07

That's your problem, though, five pound, not his, and you shouldn't be making it his problem.

Your son is a star! I'm so pleased he's strong enough to stand up to you as well! Why are you so against him being himself? Confused

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:08

He's just sent me this on facebook.

"I don't really care what people think of me or whatver I classify as fun, other people like it and as long as people like it, I will make it.
You think people Like Atticus Shaffer, Johnny Depp Justin Bieber etc stopped doing what they loved because they got ridiculed by a minority??
Because this is my life. And I'm in fucking charge!"

He's in trouble for the f word. The rest of it I can't argue with can I.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 04/11/2011 18:09

OP I know it's difficult but I think you should be more supportive of your son Sad

He sounds very mature and it seems it's you who has the problem when other people take the piss out of him.

Out of interest, what sort of videos are they?

Sevenfold · 04/11/2011 18:09

wow your son sounds amazing

worraliberty · 04/11/2011 18:10

No you can't argue with it

Though as you say the F word is a definite no no.

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:11

I'm not against him being himself. I have always taught him to be that way = I just didn't realise how different "being himself" would make him.

I'm very proud of him but nobody likes to see their kid spoken about like this, do they.

OP posts:
Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:14

Remember the whole "fred" thing? well DS is doing something similar but without the squeaky hyper voice. He's desperate to become an actor and he's hoping to get famous through youtube (as I won't send him to London to make his fortune lol).

Yes I have come across as an unsupportive bitch I know but it was only Monday when I was in discussions with the school about him being punched in the face on the way home from school. Honestly if you could imagine a kid walking around secondary school with a huge sign pointing to them saying "bully me" - that would be my ds.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 04/11/2011 18:16

Your son is amazing. The parents of the other kids should be told about what their sons get up to online.

Do you think that they won't just move onto another target? One who isn't as strong?

If you let the school know, then perhaps they can address cyberbulling as part of their PSE programme.

Feminine · 04/11/2011 18:18

My son(12) has a very strong/popular channel also...(since he was 10)

he makes tech reviews. The vitriol spewed made me want to cry.

He (on the other hand) is not bothered.

Does your son have positive comments too? DS does, and a strong following , it makes it easier for themto ignore the nasty ones.

I really feel for you, it certainly hurts us right?

pictish · 04/11/2011 18:20

Has he got talent though?