To send school a link to a bullying arsehole's facebook page?

[FivePoundNote]

My son has been making videos of himself and uploading them onto youtube. I warned him this would make him a target for bullying (along with everything else he does but he said he didn't care.

Needless to say I've just come across a facebook page belonging to a little shit who thought it would be hillarious to link to my son's youtube channel with comments such as "this kid is such a fucking wierdo" and "what a fag". This has been followed up with comments from like-minded kids encouraging it saying DS is a freak and a tit etc.

DS says he doesn't care at all.

I did warn him this would happen.

Do I let him learn from it and rise above it or send a link to the school? They're 13 btw.

Opinion, reaction, comment cannot - and indeed should not - artifically be restricted to mere approval or sycophancy.

Posting videos, essays, photographs or indeed almost anything on a widely-used forum such as Facebook and then setting the access to 'public' (or whatever the correct term) is accepting that comments will be made and those comments may be robust, even to the point of insults.

Such is life. The world can be a rough place sometimes. No one can be (should be) sheltered.

The positive slant on this little tale is, of course, whilst the child's actions may be have been somewhat naive (which is understandabne and even reasonable given his immature years) his response is to be commended.

Or indeed - 'Youtube' !

noblegiraffe, I am not justifying it, just saying out loud what is easily seen in YouTube, all kinds of weblogs (including reputable newspapers' ones) and online forums: anyone who publishes ANYTHING online will attract a number of hateful comments from people young and old. And I personally believe that the OP's son strategy - ignoring it - is not only the best, but the only one that works. If this young man's mother gets involved, it will only bring him more mockery and ridicule from the bullies, and the abuse will go on and on.

That's rather depressing, aurynne, because at my school the advice is 'if you are being bullied, tell, and if it continues tell again. And again.' This isn't anonymous internet abuse, this is a named student at the OP's son's school.

If this boy's mother sends the facebook page to school, I would hope that the perpetrator's parents would deal with it by banning them from using the internet and punishing them for being a bully. Then they might learn that making hurtful comments is not acceptable, it is not expected, and it is not something that the victim just needs to ignore.
And if it then spilled over into school, again that should be dealt with.

Lots of students end up enduring years of taunts and insults without telling. Not telling doesn't mean the abuse won't go on and on.

"If this boy's mother sends the facebook page to school, I would hope that the perpetrator's parents would deal with it by banning them from using the internet and punishing them for being a bully." ---> Good luck with that! Do you really know how improbable that is?

I agree. Not telling does not mean the abuse will go. But the child ignoring it and still doing what he likes actually does achieve that most times.

My school has suspended students for internet bullying. Given the prevalence of smart phones I doubt that it is restricted to out of school time. And if it definitely spills over into school time (punched in the face walking home from school counts as they are in uniform), then the school can certainly take action.

Do I know how improbable it is that the parent will deal appropriately with a child who is an internet bully? I know how improbable it is if no one tells the parent.

YANBU

"If you let the school know, then perhaps they can address cyberbulling as part of their PSE programme."

I agree with this very much, your son sounds like he has his head together and that with your support he'll be fine- but I think important to raise the issue with school in order to have the debate, raise awareness and maybe protect more vulnerable kids in other cases

(hope makes sense, teething baby chewing me)

Good for him. He sounds like he'd get on with ds1 (13) he's also not affected by idiots like that. He's got thick skin, something that sadly you need in this world.

OP... If your son is 'young', he shouldn't be on FB at all. You have control of that. If he's 'mature' and you're happy for him to be on it then leave him to it. I think it's ridiculous that schools now have to police facebook. FB is not for kids... the fact that some parents allow them on their is their own style of parenting.