Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send school a link to a bullying arsehole's facebook page?

85 replies

FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 17:52

My son has been making videos of himself and uploading them onto youtube. I warned him this would make him a target for bullying (along with everything else he does Angry but he said he didn't care.

Needless to say I've just come across a facebook page belonging to a little shit who thought it would be hillarious to link to my son's youtube channel with comments such as "this kid is such a fucking wierdo" and "what a fag". This has been followed up with comments from like-minded kids encouraging it saying DS is a freak and a tit etc.

DS says he doesn't care at all.

I did warn him this would happen.

Do I let him learn from it and rise above it or send a link to the school? They're 13 btw.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 04/11/2011 18:20

he sounds AWESOME, fivepound. i really, really like his spirit. Grin

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:22

Pictish, depends what you mean by talent.

I could well see him being one of those obscure characters that do get famous, not because they're a good actor but because they're so out of this world.

He's actually a very good drummer

He'd make a good comedy actor. Think Rowan Atkinson.

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:23

He does sound like he's got more strength than most. But I totally understand why you get exasperated as well.

thingsabeachanging · 04/11/2011 18:25

Have you considered looking into scholarships at nearby theatre schools. Maybe he would thrive, and you would feel more comfortable, around more likeminded people?

AitchTwoOh · 04/11/2011 18:25

well rowan atkinson has done pretty nicely for himself... Grin

is he generally one of those kids for whom attention, good or bad, is the thing?

i do wonder if kids these days will grow up being more immune to criticism as simply having an internet identity means you are up for being torn apart (as i know only too well... Grin). hope so.

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:25

Thanks for all the kind comments. I'm chilled - I'm ok - I've calmed down.

I just keep thinking - 3 more years then he leaves school - then he can be as odd as he likes without the hassle -

OP posts:
ColdToast · 04/11/2011 18:26

I love the sound of your ds!

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/11/2011 18:26

These are the people who end up running things. The bullies will be working in crappy jobs being horrible to each other. Seriously, do you think Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Nick Park, Terry Gilliam, the Cohen Brothers (and on and on) had a great time at school? The two that make South Park are hilarious about it. When he is a millionaire, he can pay people to slag the bullies off online Grin

In the meantime, tell FB at least

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:27

I'm not sure there are any theatre schools around here, I live in a dead end city unfortunately.

And yes Aitch, any attention is good to him, he doesn't care what type.

OP posts:
stepawayfromtheecclesCakes · 04/11/2011 18:29

he sounds amazing, as long as you don't feel he is being damaged in any way by these twat's, then just support him, BUT remind him that what goes on the internet stays on the internet and could come back and bite him on the bum later in life!

JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:29

v true MrsTerryPratchett.

On a brighter note, I have selected DS1s Secondary partly on the basis of their pioneering LGBT advocacy, and their creativity

pictish · 04/11/2011 18:30

In which case, if in your wisdom, maturity and experience, you think he's not just deluded and making a prat of himself, then I think it's a case of letting him be really.

Thos little tossbags saying nasty things on Facebook...yeah I totally get how that would sting you. I guess it's the mother thing where you feel their pain sharper than they do. If he seems genuinely unperturbed, then just be thankful for his thick skin and individuality.

troisgarcons · 04/11/2011 18:30

Honestly if you could imagine a kid walking around secondary school with a huge sign pointing to them saying "bully me" - that would be my ds.

But he's not - he's saying 'balls! I'll be who I want to be!' And to a degree I say, good for him.

Mind you - I might be barking up the wrong tree, as I have no idea of the youtube content ( and I dont really want to know either) - from a working-in-a-school perspective there is a certain genre of young man who seems to want to deliberately piss off the neanderthals alpha male types - and they tend to come out in Y11.

It's almost as if they are having an internal struggle with their sexuality and are trying to deflect the sort of attention into another talent, then when it's all sorted out in their own mind, they are happy to announce their choices.

I'm not trying to wind you up BTW

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:30

Yes cakes, when he's famous all these dodgy "I wanna be an actor!" youtube videos will find their way to "The Sun" Grin

Just found out the kid with the facebook page is in year 10 so 15 or so years old? what a sad bastard to go picking on younger kids.

OP posts:
Tryharder · 04/11/2011 18:31

I don't suppose you would consider posting the links to YT. Your son sounds so cool. I wouldn't mind if my DSs grew up like him. Seriously. I don't have half his confidence and pazzazz and I am 40!

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:32

Trois, you think he could be gay? I'd put money on it lol.

Well maybe not but it wouldn't exactly shock me.

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 04/11/2011 18:32
Nowtspecial · 04/11/2011 18:33

He will win at life !

troisgarcons · 04/11/2011 18:39

Trois, you think he could be gay? I'd put money on it lol

LOL indeed - and the other boys sense it. They cant deal with it because they feal threatened. And I'll be my bottom dollar he has a million female friends - because girls are very confortable round gays as they don't present a sexual threat. Stems from jealousy. Fragile little flowers are men wink

The drama crowd (from what I observe) are two types of boys - either VERY sexually straight and confident enought ont mind dressing up and making a fool of themselves - ane the gays who enjoy the whole 'drama' of drama! I love the drama department, coz they are all just delightfully insane! (and they let me guest spot in their plays!)Grin

stepawayfromtheecclesCakes · 04/11/2011 18:41

good on yer fivepoundnote you done a great job there, looking forward to hearing about his fame!

londonone · 04/11/2011 18:44

Your son isn't a victim, please don't turn him into one.

It is not uncommon for parents to see bullying where children themselves have developed there own strategies to deal with the "bullies"

They are not bullies because they are of no consequence to your son at the moment. Tragically they are wannabe bullies

Original poster
FivePoundNote · 04/11/2011 18:46

He actually plays the stereotype gay (walks around calling everyone "girlfriend" and "honey") so yeah I sometimes wonder if he puts it on or if that really is him iyswim? he's learnt that it gets a hell of a lot of attention, anyway.

And yes, lots of female friends. Very few male friends. lol

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 04/11/2011 18:48

Mind you - my son does that- he is very overtly feminine at times -and does like to attention seek in that manner. My gaydar goes "woo-woo-woo" but my hairdressers says not, and apparently all hairdressers know these things taps nose knowingly or so she tells me!

Hassled · 04/11/2011 18:51

He sounds amazing. He sounds like he should be on Glee :o.

There's a boy in DS2's year (Y9) who wears a cravat to school. I admire him enormously.

Growlithe · 04/11/2011 18:58

I am so proud of your son. And I don't even know him