to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

[mummylovesnancy]

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

Thats great ditziness, but the research would suggest that you are the excpetion rather than the rule.

Are there different leaflets for different levels of overweight?

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant and at my booking in I had a BMI of 30. Just at the cut off point for consultant care. All the health staff have been polite and supportive. I met with the consultant who basically told me I was too healthy to be under her care and was shifted back to the midwives and my weight hasn't been mentioned again.

I do understand the generic leaflets being a bit insulting and well, generic. Surely there are vast differences in health needs and risks between a woman with a BMI of 30 and of 50? I gather that the OP was annoyed that she has had no problems with her previous two pregnancies and now all of a sudden due to changing guidelines she suddlenly WILL have all these problems.

This generation is expected to pre-decease its parents and obesity is the primary driver of that unpalatable prospect.
I don't know what it is going to take for people to wake up to this issue.
Given the reality that we are now an excessively fat nation I find it ridiculous that anyone would infer that nobody is allowed to mention the F word in case it triggers an unhealthy relationship with food.
This country already HAS an unhealthy relationship with food!

It's all very depressing - especially when you see so many kids and teenagers carrying enormous amounts of excess weight.
The fact that the NHS is having to waste money on supersize equipment to cope with an escalating number of obese patients is a damning indictment of our over-indulged society.

Apology accepted tiktok.

Just for the record though I'm pretty sure most people would be insulted if you called them greedy or said that they might have an eating disorder. So not just me who it would have that effect on.

ditziness

"To weigh you, measure your height and then just hand you a leaflet saying that you'll need a caeserian, your baby is more likely to be stillborn etc is ludricous when dealing with an issue ( obesity) that is well linked to mental illness."

If you were anorexic, they'd do the same. (If they had a leaflet.) I was severely anorexic when I was younger. I went to a clinic and they handed me a print out of all the things that might happen to me i.e. heart failure, osteoporosis.

I 'recovered' and now I am battling with being overweight. For me, it is linked to years of dealing with my emotions via food, either lack of or too much of. Some people with obesity do have MH issues but on it's own, obesity is not a mental illness.

Well given that dieting and obession with weight have gone hand in hand with more and more people becoming overweight maybe there's a question about how the obsession with weight does affect our relationship with food.

If you treat food and your own body as enemies to be controlled (self control) then you aren't really going to approach eating in a terribly rational way.

Sorry that was my confusion .

Is thunder the op?

I'm overweight (not obese - lower end of overweight) and no medical professional has mentioned it to me through three miscarriages and 29 weeks of pregnancy.

"Is anyone going to answer my question-should it just be ignored that the pregnant woman is obese? Or would it be OK if written in a more sensitive manner?"

It shouldn't be ignored. Support to manage obesity downwards in pregnancy should be given.

How ridiculous to think that anyone who elects not to overeat to the point of obesity is regarding their body as an enemy that has to be controlled!

If we were doing the same amount of physical exercise our grandmothers did whilst consuming as many calories there would be no problem. But millions of us are now desk and car bound - whilst stuffing our faces with all manner of easily available cheap crap.
Our bodies were not designed for this modern life and we have to make choices.
It has nothing to do with irrational self loathing and everything to do with well informed personal responsibility.

Why would anybody overeat to the point of obesity if they took control out of the equation in eating?

If I had to use self control because apparently if I didn't I'd overeat to the point of obesity, I'd be asking myself big questions about my relationship and attitudes to food.

I know there are conditions like Prader-willi syndrome where people don't have an off switch but most people stop eating when they are full.

"well informed personal responsibility"

What a soulless joyless way to approach food.

I agree, our ancestors would probably have been obese as well if they had non-stop food on offer and didn't need to do hard labour.

My body doesn't "crave" calories. It takes in what it needs to stay active and to be nourished.

I eat three meals a day and enjoy them. And if I wanted tiramisu I'd have it. Generally I don't want it. It's not about self control, it's about being tuned into your body and what it needs. Acting as if you have to control your body is not being tuned into it.

Also planning exercise - just walk as much as you can.

Are you saying that if you didn't stop yourself you'd binge Custard?

"You cannot come home from work and enjoy huge, hearty meals of whatever you fancy day after day"

Actually that's exactly what I do. I work in an office and I also eat large helpings at suppertime.

"without ever gaining an ounce of weight"

It's still about weight isn't it. Gaining an ounce, gaining anything would be bad right?

Basically what you're saying is that everybody would eat too much if they were given the opportunity, somehow their appetites would run riot. And that the only difference between obese and non-obese people is that the latter exercise iron self control. I don't think that's true at all.

Not the only difference perhaps, but definitely one of the main differences.

OK few points as I'm catching up with 5 pages of biscuit eating habits being a way of finding out if you have an eating disorder. bewildered

I am a slim woman. I eat healthily but I also am incredibly lazy and really could do with doing exercise. I would not describe myself as fit. I'm not going to dispute any of that. That doesn't change the fact that obese people are unhealthy though nor does that change the fact they have additional health risks. I still fail to see how that is 'fattest'.

I'm also going to ask the same question again as some people seem to think there is insensitivity going on here. What do you think is a better or more sensitive way to describe women with a BMI of over 30 as? The OP had an issue with it. I personally think bigger lady or larger lady is pretty damn sensitive.

Then theres the issue of mental health. Yes I am going to agree it is a contributing factor. HOWEVER, it shouldn't be used as an excuse for not pointing out risks. The leaflet concerned offered counselling and a dietician. I'm not sure how else health professionals are supposed to confront someone as try and help them seek the help they need. There DOES need to be a confrontation point even with mental health issues, to help people take a look at themselves and realise that "hey actually, there is an issue here and maybe I do need to do something about this".

You need to recognise that you have an issue before you can look at that - coming up with denial and excuses to justify the way you are are just that - avoiding the problem and not admitting there is a problem here. Thats the point I want to make.

And whilst there is a mental health element to things there is still a lot of people who just lack education and understanding. I know a lady, who eats very well and very healthy, but its the sheer quantity thats the problem. When we've visited the portions she dished out were always the biggest I've ever seen. Even my DH has struggled with the amount she thinks is normal. And its hard as you don't want to appear rude by leaving half of it.

Then theres factors like the 'Diet Coke Problem'. Diet coke contains unnatural aspartame. Horrible evil stuff (gives me night terrors and makes me attack my DH in my sleep) should be banned. It is so sweet, it sends a message to the brain to expect X amount of food. When the body doesn't get that, the brain sends out a craving message for that food. Thus resulting in person eating more than they would naturally. Diet coke has been proven to make people put on weight. There are similar issues with some low fat food (use sugar instead). People eat them in the belief they will lose weight with them - it can often make the problem worst. Thats not a mental health issue - thats a lack of understanding and a modern day convenience culture.

On a personal level, I've had a lot of abuse thrown at me over my weight for no reason. I am in the normal range. It gets to me. Its not just 'fattism' that goes on. The reverse is also true. Somehow slimmer women are sometimes seen as the enemy no matter what they do (or just for breathing).

And yes, if I let my appetite make all the decisions I would put on weight. A week in the states earlier this year made me realise that. Without looking at the calories in things I would have put on more than the half stone I did. Your body isn't always in tune with things or can be confused by modern day additives Thats why the psychology of doing things like using a smaller plate and eating more slowly are both proven ways to help you loose weight and keep it off.

Anyway, I have never eaten a whole packet of jaffa cakes.

thunderbolts there's nothing wrong with keeping an eye on what you eat and thinking about your weight. It's healthy! It's only unhealthy if you constantly think about it and would never allow yourself a biscuit or take-away.

So is what we are seeing here the 40 per cent of women who are on diets at any one time.

I completely disagree that it's a good idea to worry about your weight. It leads to a disordered relationship with food.

You keep quoting 40%. So what? We are become an obese nation. I'm not sure of the stats. Isn't it something like 30% overweight and 30% obese?

Plus, diet doesn't necessarily mean something crazy like Lighter Life, they could be cutting down on junk.

Where's your evidence for any of this Custard. Especially the "genes made us do it" stuff? Because this is sounding like just so stories to justify some very odd attitudes to food and weight.

Once again are you saying you'd binge if you didn't exercise self control?

There is a big difference between worrying about food and being aware of your food.

Being aware might include doing stuff like looking on the back of a packet to see how many servings it is supposed to be. Rather than eating the whole packet. That's nothing to do with dieting...

To be dismissive of it as being a bad sign and always being an unhealthy relationship with food is equally unhealthy.