Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

999 replies

mummylovesnancy · 04/11/2011 08:32

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

OP posts:
fatlazymummy · 04/11/2011 19:55

timewasting eating low fat is healthy for some people. I am much healthier now that I eat less fat and have lost a lot of weight, which I intend not to regain.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 04/11/2011 19:55

I think the leaflet is badly written.
I am overweight. I have two children. Both times when pregnant, my weight has gone down by a couple of stones, because I am so sick when pregnant (easy, but not healthy, to lose weight when you cant even keep water down).

Personally, I think most overweight people are aware they are overweight, and generally are not happy about it / wanting to be that size (may be a massive generalisation, but nobody I know who is overweight thinks they are skinny!). They are aware of the risks of being overweight. Again, may be a general comment, but you cant say there are may overweight people who don't know it can affect their health. BUT... having another leaflet thrown at them, spelling out risks when, lets face it, they are feeling vulnerable is not going to help.

TimeWasting · 04/11/2011 20:04

hairy, losing weight doesn't mean you'll keep it off.

fatlazymum, we need fat to be healthy. Some people eat too much of course, but a diet that won't let me eat olive oil and peanut butter is not healthy.

exotic, I think RC is a bit different to when I did it (though still low fat I think?) hope you can keep it off.

hairylights · 04/11/2011 20:06

wasting I didn't say it did.

Rollon2012 · 04/11/2011 20:16

overweight can perhaps be compared with alchohol comsumption

but not smoking , no way being overweight does not expose a feotuse to toxic chemicals and polluting chemicals,

obese is bad , but lets not try and put it on par with smoking because its not up there.

Rollon2012 · 04/11/2011 20:16

or drugs for that matter.

Arachnophobic · 04/11/2011 20:21

YABU as the content is true.

NHS are duty bound to do what they can to avoid complications. Maybe the harsh wording is designed to scare people like yourself into losing weight.

ditziness · 04/11/2011 20:22

Haven't read all nineteen pages, but as another overweight pregnant lass who got the same leaflet, I was struck by the complete lack of understanding the approach had. Personally I'm overweight due to a combination of factors, one if which is definitely because I eat too much, but others are complicated and emotional and psychological, eating disorder territory.
I overeat when I'm scared, stressed, unhappy. It's a learned behaviour from childhood, and one I've tried and tried to unpick over my life and always ultimately failed. It's unfortunately not something that can be sorted out by saying, " eat less or else". No more than you can cure an anorexic by saying " eat more" .

Intact that leaflet just made me want to go straight into a denial binge eating territory. I would imagine that a reasonably high proportion of overweight people have emotional and psychological issues with food. Frightening, panicking them, pushing them further into self loathing is not going to help. Especially when your pregnant and your appetite, hormones and self esteem is all over the place anyway.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 20:27

I do a lunch club. It is evident that none of the octogenarians are fat. I don't know a single fat octogenarian and I do seem to know a lot of them.

(Op, enjoy your pregnancy, and congratulations and Envy from me and lots of Thanks to lucky you.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 20:29

'denial' is a Freudian invention, and no-one takes Freud seriously anymore.

frumpet · 04/11/2011 20:29

Oddly the only two people i know who have had very prem babies were both very very fit and not at all overweight , can i therefore suprmise that being very fit puts you at greater risk of premature birth ?

Whatmeworry · 04/11/2011 20:31

For every Baby theory there is an equal and opposite Baby theory. ignore.

ditziness · 04/11/2011 20:32

And to everyone on this thread who is of the opinion , "if you are overweight then you should eat less and excersize more", think yourself lucky that it's possible for you to be able to do that. Because for many of us it really isn't that simple.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 20:33

I am not sure if this is the case anymore, but during my pregnancies I didn't see any doctors at all. My mv told me that I could do this. I only met my GP on the day after I had whelped dd1 at home. I don't know how it works now, or whether it has changed.

ditziness · 04/11/2011 20:39

Judy, I'll tell that to the eating disorder therapist I see. I'm sure she'llbe interested.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 20:41

Ang the GP only seemed to check her testicles, which should illustrate his involvement.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 20:45

ditz, since I came to the UK I have learnt that people sometimes say the opposite of what they mean and sometimes I miss it. I am trying to keep up with the 'irony' if that is what you are practising. I do not think that anything by Freud is held in respect.

manicinsomniac · 04/11/2011 20:56

YANBU

Medically, the leaflet may well have been true but it sounds like it was worded insensitively and unhelpfully. I'm not surprised you're so upset.

I had the exact opposite experience to you in terms of weight - with my first pregnancy I was severely anorexic and I was still very underweight during the second.

Certainly I had specialist medical care during both pregnancies, especially the first, and I was definitely made aware of the risks I was putting myself and my children through. I KNOW that I am incredibly lucky that they are more or less unaffected by what I put them through (oldest is physically far smaller than the norm and was premature. I am aware that's my fault and can only thank God it's not something worse). However, the information and (gentle) recrimination I was given was done
personally
sensitively
supportively

At no point was I made to feel guilty or useless.

I can't imagine how awful it would have been to have been handed a leaflet saying,
"Due to your low weight you will be unable to give birth natually and are putting your bones and joints under intolerable pressure. Your blood pressure will be very low and you will not be able to move around. Your baby will not get sufficient nutrients, will be born early and will be very likely to suffer physical deformities and mental disability."

But the NHS wouldn't do that to me because anorexia is somehow seen as more 'sympathisable with' than obesity. It isn't. Neither extreme is okay when it comes to risking the health of a child. Yet for some reason it's okay to victimise and patronise the overweight.

I think you should make your views known.

frumpet · 04/11/2011 20:59

Sorry that last post was supposed to be a bit tongue in cheek , but when i actually think about it , i know of four super fit woman with very prem babies . When i say super fit ,im not talking about your average joe fit ,but people who can run 10k without breaking a sweat .

FabbyChic · 04/11/2011 21:00

Sorry but I don't think it is disgusting, obese people cost the NHS millions because they are overweight, people do die because they are overweight and obese.

Studies would have prove that what the leaflet said could happen have happened to more obese women than average sized women.

So they have written it down as a warning because it occurs more in obese people than normal sized people.

Whats the problem really?

ditziness · 04/11/2011 21:02

Judy, I've not studied Freud, but I don't really need to to know that denial is very real whether you respect it or not. It's pretty much my natrual state, to continue overeating to cope with the stress and worry of being overweight. To stay conscious takes a huge scarey effort. One that I've managed a couple of times in my life, but not one I've managed to maintain forever yet. I keep trying. It took my eating disorder therapist to educate me to recognise this in myself. I'm not sure if the lack of respect for the idea of denial has reached the psychology of eating disorders in my area yet.

worraliberty · 04/11/2011 21:06

but not smoking , no way being overweight does not expose a feotuse to toxic chemicals and polluting chemicals

obese is bad , but lets not try and put it on par with smoking because its not up there

Obesity in pregnancy can put both mother and baby at serious risk...just as smoking can.

That's where the similarities lie

Women who are obese during early pregnancy have a significantly increased risk of their baby dying before, during or up to one year after birth

According to the research in the link posted up thread.

judyjudyjones · 04/11/2011 21:11

Thank you, Ditz, I think I 'get it'. I appears to me that it is a vicious circle. The badly written leaflet was a cause of stress. Yes? Which is dealt with by comfort eating. If one is obese it must be stressful to hear the blinking obvious. And the ditto if one is underweight.

fatlazymummy · 04/11/2011 21:12

timewasting yes we need some fat to be healthy, but not lots of fat. So a low fat diet can still be healthy.

chicletteeth · 04/11/2011 21:15

This thread still going then...

I came back on to see someone refer to themselves as santa and a liar!

WTF Grin

I've obviously missed a lot.

Oh well, as you were, some people just won't be educated.

Thunder I genuinely don't know if you're being obtuse or are generally ignorant in this area. Either way I'm astounded at your comments based on your obvious lack of knowledge in the area and concerned that someone would take them as fact!