to be completely shocked and disgusted at the leaflet I've just been given by my mw???

[mummylovesnancy]

This leaflet, titled 'Raised BMI in Pregnancy' was passed on to me by my midwife at my booking in appointment yesterday. Along with the words 'You can't have a home birth, you probably won't deliver naturally and you'll be given consultant led care.'
I'm 28, I have 2 PERFECTLY healthy children who both have perfect height to weight ratios, eat well, are active and are generally normal children. I weigh 13st and I'm 5'2 which puts me in the 'obese' catagory according to the good ol' BMI index of wonder. I have been roughly this weight and exactly this height for all of my adult life. I am overweight, I accept that, but what I don't accept is being told to read this sodding leaflet which tells me, among various other little pearlers, that:
*I will have raised blood pressure. (Not 'I may', 'I WILL')
*I will be prone to urinary tract infections. (never had one in my life!)
*'Bigger Ladies' (exact wordage) get more blood clots. (Dumb Fuck)
*Examinations will be difficult. (Why? Because you have to part all my layers of fat to get to my vag?! How fucking degrading)
*I will have restricted mobilisation. (Will I? Because I don't now, will it automatically come with being fat and preggers?)
*Putting in a drip will be difficult. (yeah because my hands are so freaking chubby.)
*Breastfeeding will be challenging (I've managed it with two babies, now because you've changed your guidelines I think I might struggle.)
And my favourite one yet:
*The risk of stillbirth or your baby dying in the first 28 days is increased in 'larger ladies' (Thanks for that one, nhs, I just had a misscarriage 8 weeks ago. Was it because I'm fat?)

It also mentions on about 7 occasions that I may want an epidural. Is that to keep me quiet?! It also offers to refer me to a dietician and a counsellor.

I have been overweight (or a larger or bigger lady, as the nhs prefers) and given birth naturally twice with absolutely no complications and one of them was a home birth. I can't believe I have to read all this shit. The idiot who wrote this doesn't even know how to place an apostrophe or comma ffs!

Does anyone agree with me that this is a disgusting, degrading, scare mongering piece of shit or am I being an unreasonable pregnant wreck??

at 5 ft7 and 13 stone i looked fantastic and not "bloody fat" but i guess that would be different shapes etc.
or different definitions of fantastic and bloody fat?

Were you very very muscular, then?
I have a very large frame, very muscular and I would look fat with three more stone on me. I'd be genuinely surprised if you were more muscular or larger framed than me, TBH but go on....

I agree with Look. I was also once very fit, a high-altitude mountain climber. 5ft., 3in. Still about 10.5 stone, maybe closer to 11 and full of muscle.

But 13?

I'm 13 now. I'm fat/overweight/obese. It's a medical fact.

there are 101 reasons why someone may miscarry and no one can be sure why they do, again with SID but to tell people that being over weight is the possible reason seems unreasonable to me
I agree after the event.

However it is a bit like SIDS. Should we avoid mentioning any risks for fear that parents who suffered such a tragedy might feel culpable?

again when you are discussing things that can happen to any woman during pregnancy

Well yes they can........ but they are more likely if you are overweight.

i am not really sure i understand your outrage at the fact that as woman that are over weight or obese we dont particularly want to be singled out
I'm not outraged.

the other problem i suppose is that as a person that has a high bmi my opinion will not be held as valid by anyone because it will be decided by others to be based on emotions rather than the fact that a genuinely dont agree that it is right
This is your perception. I honestly honestly believe that whatever weight you are, you are a person with feelings and emotions and personalities etc. I wouldn't change my view of you due to weight.

I would offer health advice to anyone regardless of shape, lifestyle, ethnic background, lifestyle etc etc. I also try to offer it in a supportive way and back off the minute I get the cue that it's not welcome...because as i said earlier I repect your choice. It won't stop me being a professional and offering the advice.

no not muscular at all. like i said that was at what i consider to be the healthiest part in my life i did yoga every day but not scarily had a good diet, danced 2 or 3 times a week and was 13 stone. i was toned but curvy i looked good. obviously i didnt think so at the time being 16,17 and in the oh my god i am so fat phase of my life but seeing photos of myself then i am amazed that i ever though that a size 12 was fat.
sorry tilly what am i in denial about?

I'm on the same part of the BMI chart that spooks would have been with her BMI when fit. I also think I look ok tbh.

To get a BMI of 33 I'd have to put on 3 stone.

I noticed today that 'quit smoking' advert is back on TV, the one where a little boy faces the camera and says words to the effect of......

"Mum, Dad I see you smoking and it scares me. I'm scared of that smoke going round your body and your lungs. I'm afraid you're going to die. Please stop smoking, do it for me?"

Can you imagine the sheer uproar if that little boy was saying....

"Mum, Dad I see you're obese and it scares me. I'm scared of all that fat on your body clinging to your vital organs, weakening your joints and I'm scared you're going to get diabetes and die. Please lose weight, do it for me?"

I imagine there would be complaints and petitions left, right and center but it somehow seems ok to use a little child to pile the pressure and emotional blackmail on when it comes to tobacco doesn't it?

I had a huge slice of chocolate cake and a glass of red because it's been a long week.

I'm now going to walk the dog for about 5 miles to counter that.

I know I'm overweight. I acknowledge that. I am also fit and happy. I mitigate weight with being fit

but that is what i am suggesting about the one size fits all bmi culture. i exercised everday then had a good diet and would still not have been able to make it to my "ideal" weight without some serious unhealthy dieting so what should i have done it that position?

Sppoks, why can't you follow a healthy diet in order to lose weight? Why would it require an unhealthy diet? Of course BMI is not exact, and there are various factors to be taken into account, but it really is implausible that doing yoga every day is going to build up the muscle required to make BMI that inaccurate. You were not training for the olympics!

For all those who keep asking what is and is not obese, the NHS calculator is here:

www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

milly what are you talking about?

I'm responding to your last two posts. I can't think of a more straightforward way of saying that somebody who weighed 13 stone and was a 5 foot 7 tall would need to go on a diet to lose weight because a bit of yoga is not going to lead to sufficient weight loss. It is hardly controversial.

you obviously were not reading my posts properly, i was saying that i was doing yoga everyday + 2 or 3 other forms of high cardio work outs a week + a good diet (by this i mean a diet think it was the rosemary Connolly one) and was still 13 stone. i was suggesting that i would not have been able to get to my ideal bmi weight of 9 and a half stone with out unhealthy measures and was asking people what i should have done in that instance.

spooks you are saying that through healthy diet and exercise you can't reach a healthy weight? That's simply not true.

Overweight and fit do not belong in the same sentence. Neither does "I eat healthy and exercise but am obese".

well i can not put my experience in any plainer terms, i am sorry if you dont like the way my life was, but what i am saying is that for me 13 stone was a health weight.

Maybe Spooks is actually Santa, who is both obese and yet fit enough to deliver all of those presents.

i am not saying by the way that if i choose to now that if i exercised and ate less i would not lose weight now i lost two stone before i became pregnant with out a massive scary effort. i am talking about when i was putting in significant effort.

Rosemary Conley isn't healthy btw. Low fat isn't good for you. It makes you lose weight though, but that isn't the only thing by which to measure health.
(I lost 5 stone on RC! Put 7 on)

thats why i say that dieting isnt healthy and agree that healthy eating is the way forward.. but that isnt the point i am trying to make.

I have lost track with the argument! I think that people have misunderstood my posts. I lost over 2 stone with Rosemary Conley and have kept it off for nearly 3 yrs-I have no intention of ever going back. Basically eat less and exercise more.

apparently i am santa and lying.

Yes, just clarifying that in light of hairy's subsequent post.

Erm dieting is a whole lit healthier than remaining obese, I'd you do it healthily, actually. Starvation dieting isn't healthy, but dieting is. For example, slimming world if done right is a very healthy way to eat. And you are guaranteed to lose weight if you follow it to the letter.

By definition dieting would mean intaking less calories than your daily allowance. This is not unhealthy. You can "eat healthy" all you want, but if you are taking in more calories than you are burning you are still going to gain weight. It's common sense.