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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have had a go at this kid?

130 replies

Bogeymanface · 03/11/2011 19:24

I was walking into the shop earlier when a lad of about 9, still in his primary school uniform, was shouting something through the door to his sister. Then he turned and spat and it went on me.

I dont think he intended to spit at me and as soon as he did it he said sorry. It took me a second to realise what had happened but then I said "FGS!! That is absolutely disgusting! Do you realise that I need to get changed and wash these clothes now, because of YOUR digusting habit of spitting?! Do your parents allow you to spit?" "(a very shamefaced) No" "And what the hell do you think they would say if they knew you had just gobbed all over a stranger in the street?" "Dunno" "I think you do know! I think you'd be in big trouble wouldnt you?!" "mumbled Yes" "So pack it in, its revolting and you should be ashamed of yourself"

I didnt swear, I didnt shout, although I was bloody angry. And a woman in the shop said "Oh you shouldnt have had a go at him, he didnt mean to spit on you" I said that if he hadnt been spitting in the first place then it wouldnt have happened at all.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeymanface · 04/11/2011 23:32

I did tell him once. He said "oh sorry....(dont mean it....whatever)" as soon as he realised what had happened (and before I did!) and turned to go, so then I told him off. That was that. But I appreciate that you view these things differently to me so I can see why you say I was BU.

OP posts:
ItsonlymeMrsDB · 04/11/2011 23:32

Skinny

We shall have to agree to disagree.

Original poster
Bogeymanface · 04/11/2011 23:33

Oh Shit CABP!!!!! I did just heave then, a proper "OMG I am going to be sick in my mouth" heave.

Bleaurgh.......[shivers]

OP posts:
SkinnyWhiteBoy · 04/11/2011 23:37

CAPB - DD vomited into my mouth as I pretended to eat her the other day.
I laughed, but I did spit it out.
I have eaten someone else's spit for fun, but she was cute, and asked nicely.

ItsonlymeMRsDB - Can we disagree about agreeing?

ItsonlymeMrsDB · 04/11/2011 23:40

Well, I would imagine so.....it would depend on the topic !

Original poster
Bogeymanface · 04/11/2011 23:46

Skinny, thats not impressive! GEtting sick, dribble or wee in your mouth from your child is just a right of passage of being a parent!

Getting spat on by a complete stranger who could have any kind of virus or bug, is grotty.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeymanface · 04/11/2011 23:47

Oh and doing the other thing with your friend doesnt make you laid back, it makes you the guy that everyone know will do anything if he thinks there is a chance he will get laid.

OP posts:
SkinnyWhiteBoy · 05/11/2011 00:02

Not had a kid vomit in my mouth before, but deffo had dribble and snot from my mates kids many times. Will almost certainly get wee in my mouth before we're all done with the sprogging.
I'd be more worried about public transport, if I were you - people go to the toilet, don't wash their hands, and leave fecal matter everywhere. So glad I ride a bike everywhere.

AnonyMaw · 05/11/2011 00:06

YANBU, he probably won't do it again, and it's far more effective for him to have learnt his lesson this way, worth a thousand times "stop that" from his parents.

SkinnyWhiteBoy · 05/11/2011 00:10

Bogey - except the spitting only occurred once she was relaxed enough in bed with me to reveal her enjoyment of it, which was after a good few months of us laying each other. We're totally married now.
I mean, I will do just about anything in bed, but for love, not for sex. I've given a rimjob, done anal, probably loads of other stuff that's considered kinky. I dunno, choking, eating my cum off various places I've deposited it and so on.
But I've never slept with anyone I wasn't in a lasting relationship with. Well, ok, one person, and I feel terrible about that.
My being relaxed about bodily fluids doesn't indicate that I'm a slut, just that I'm relaxed about bodily fluids.

Original poster
Bogeymanface · 05/11/2011 00:11

Or grim.
Hmm

OP posts:
MrBloomsNursery · 05/11/2011 00:13

Eurgh. What a digusting little cretin. I would have got him by the scruff of his neck and taken him inside to his mother and told her what he'd done.

Spitting, burping, farting. Three things I can't stand.

Original poster
Bogeymanface · 05/11/2011 00:16

As an IBS sufferer I cant really say anything about farting :o

But thats the difference, certain things you cant help but you atleast try and make sure that no one else is affected by it. But no one needs to spit do they?

OP posts:
hmc · 05/11/2011 00:17

You sounded a bit rabid about it tbh. I dislike spitting too but a simple admonishment would have sufficed rather than banging on like a stuck record. The boys ready apology should have been taken into account.

SkinnyWhiteBoy · 05/11/2011 00:19

Hey, man, labels disable. I've not called you prude or prim or precious or anything. Nor have I conjectured that, because you think spitting is disgusting, that you feel some sort of revulsion to sex at some level. Cos that would be totally unsubstantiated by the evidence.

MrBloomsNursery · 05/11/2011 00:20

Well, burping and farting can be done discreetly without affecting another person - unless your farts are silent but violent..Hmm. As Shrek says "better out than in" :D

But agree, spitting is something you don't need to do. It's not like vomiting is it.

HidingInTheBathroom · 05/11/2011 00:52

My DD has a problem with her throat a rare condition. She is only 20 months. But she makes alot of spit. She dribbles and has now started to spit a little to get rid of the excess. She also has blocked sinus unless she spits her mucus out if can cause her to be sick.

May be the boy had a bad cold or virus or just awful flem that he needed to get rid of.

Yabu if you talked to my child in a rangy manner for a accident that he apologised for I would not be happy.

SmellslikeDEMONcatspee · 05/11/2011 01:42

But HidingInTheBathroom, i am sure that if your daughter?s condition continues in to her teens etc you would encourage her to be circumspect. (You didn?t say what it was).

But if she continues to need to spit to prevent her being sick will you allow/ encourage her to do so in the street? Or will you encourage her to use a hankie/ tissue/ go to the nearest loo?

Anyway
Even if he had a cold etc this is not acceptable behaviour, he was old enough to know that.

It?s gross and it spreads diseases

I used to work on a chest ward (ex-nurse) part of my job was inspecting sputum pots to look at colour and consistence. . every morning and evening.

If little old ladies and gentlemen (most of whom weren?t all that old just worn down by pulmonary disease) can hack and spit politely, so can an able 9/10/11 etc year old.

snailoon · 05/11/2011 06:24

I never tell off a child who is apologising, and saying he knows he's wrong. I would have thanked him for his apology, and maybe told him more mildly how disgusting it is to spit.

notevenagunpowderplot · 05/11/2011 07:02

Sorry but you did swear at him - just because it's only mild blasphemy does not make it acceptable towards someone elses child.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 05/11/2011 08:01

YANBU spitting is a vile, foul, footballer-worship induced habit and the more people who yell at kids for doing it the better.

FWIW, my cousin suffered horribly with excess saliva for 6 months of her pregnancy. She didn't gob in the street, she carried a plastic bag. Not pretty but infinitely better. There's no excuse for it, it's disgusting.

quirrelquarrel · 05/11/2011 09:44

If you're the kind of person who would have to go home that second and change your clothes for a bit of spit, then you're probably the kind of person who changes her clothes every day anyway. So you're making a fuss.

If he said sorry and he didn't mean to do it...well, I would have been scared stiff at that age if someone shouted at me for something I didn't mean to do! Fine to tell him off. But god, from your OP you came across as really cross and out of control. Just because of a bit of spit. 9 years old!

BendyBob · 05/11/2011 09:50

Yanbu.

quirrelquarrel · 05/11/2011 10:05

Ah Skinny, you speak sense :o

If everyone were a little more laidback about dirt and germs (when they are already healthy & backed up by a healthy diet etc), they wouldn't catch colds.
I'm quite dirty and when everyone else is coughing and sneezing around me I'm fine. I'm sure it's because I'm not precious about germs.

Proudnscary · 05/11/2011 10:14

Bogey - forgot I posted that, so didn't reply to you! Sorry if you weren't exaggerating - I've read so many OPs about altercations with wayward kids where I don't believe a word of it (usually from, ahem, 'new' posters).
I've just re-read your OP and no you were NBU at all. I hate spitting. Apols for any offence.