Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask someone to break into my home to scare DDs?

112 replies

ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 21:37

When DH and I went away in the summer for a week we returned (very early morning) to find one of the windows open while teenage DDs age 18 and 19 were in bed asleep. What infuriates me is that anything could have happened to them and they don't seem to care. They told me it was a one-off but I don't believe them.

We are planning to leave them again for a couple of nights over Christmas and I just KNOW they will do it again because many mornings I have come down to find the back door unlocked when one of them has stayed up late.

I said to DH that when we are next away I am going to ask someone to act as a masked intruder to enter the house through the open window to scare them into realising how serious this is. I am prepared to pay them.

DH thinks I'm stark raving bonkers to be thinking of doing this. I don't think he cares as much as I do. AIBU?

OP posts:
springydaffs · 02/11/2011 22:47

You've been watching too much Desperate Housewives OP. That's the sort of insane thing Lynette Scavo would do (it's funny/clever on the telly but not in real life)

brightspark2 · 02/11/2011 22:47

YABU. Why not strip their room of valuables and hide them while they are out? It's the equivalent of the Saturday bag I used with my son if he didn't tidy his room on Sunday I 'burgled' it myself on the Monday and he didn't get them back first for a week then two then a month. He puts things away now he is 14.

Your girls are now women -we all feel immortal at that age - losing mobiles and laptops would hit them hard.

Original poster
ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 23:05

I like your idea brightspark. I also think Crimewatch should be compulsory viewing. Thanks for that clare456

OP posts:
justonemorethread · 02/11/2011 23:07

Well, I bet you wish you had never posted!!!
Yes yabu
Hopefully it was a spur of the moment idea and post and you wouldn't have gone through with it anyway!

squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 23:12

top tip here for everyone..

balance a metal tin lid (like that off a tin of biscuits) on your door handle at night.. (assuming you have external door with handles on the inside).. the first thing a burglar does is try a door, the clatter of the tin lid will scare off any burglar, as well as alert anyone in the house too.

SolidGoldVampireBat · 02/11/2011 23:21

Where do you live, OP? And what are the actual crime figures for the area? Because not only is your 'plan' fuckwitted in the extreme, if you're that paranoid about open windows, unless you live in Midsomer Parva then you need to sort out your own anxieties before you pass them on to your DDs.

MrBloomsNursery · 02/11/2011 23:22

Shock...Really? No, I don't believe anyone would even think this up!!!

YourMother · 02/11/2011 23:24

My father actually did this to me as a teenager. Wearing a gas mask and waving a ruler. Not to teach me a lesson. As a JOKE. It's no wonder I have such a nervous disposition as an adult. Grin

Signet2012 · 02/11/2011 23:31

I can see your point OP but it really wouldnt be a good idea to scare the shit out of your daughters and risk an innocent person getting hurt as one of them will likely hit them with somehting.

If you really must do something then come downstairs on one of the nights they have left the door open. Remove a number of items preferably theirs from the front room. rush upstairs in urgency and ask them if they have moved anything out of the front room... no?

Dialogue along the lines of:
Seriously HAVE you moved the telly?
Well its not there now...
its not funny come on.....

Ah god the back door is wide open who was the last one to bed.
try and get in house insurance wont cover you...

when they look suitably panicked then admit what you have done.

BUT if you do choose to do this, expect back lash.

Tortington · 02/11/2011 23:42

YABU

and a little bit nuts,

if they can't be trusted to secure your home, make them stay at someone elses

PigletJohn · 02/11/2011 23:49

perhaps you could train a tomcat to come in and scent-mark their possessions?

Pandemoniaa · 03/11/2011 00:30

Christonabike but this is the most bonkers idea I can possibly imagine. The grief and carnage that could result is indescribable.

Bubbaluv · 03/11/2011 00:50

I sleep with my back door open for the dog every night.
Doesn't worry me in the slightest.
Get a dog and get a grip.

GetOrfMo1Land · 03/11/2011 01:08

YABU you bloody freakoid.

SouthStar · 03/11/2011 01:18

My god, what have you got planned for the first time they break the speed limit driving.... have you got a mate on hand to crash into the side of them....I think your being abit extreme!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/11/2011 02:07

SolidGold is making a very good point. All the people who are talking about your house your rules and insurance and things are missing what you're actually saying, which is basically that you're living in fear that your lovely, naive daughters will come to harm.

What infuriates me is that anything could have happened to them

I tell them about the intuders Dano Sonex (remember him who climbed in a window and killed the french students?) and that Vincent Tabak guy but they are like yeah yeah yeah Mum. It makes me want to cry.

I also think Crimewatch should be compulsory viewing

You can't live like that, honey. No wonder your daughters are like yeah yeah mum - you are coming across as incredibly neurotic and anxious, so they're writing off your concerns as OTT. You know, your daughters are adults. They're old enough to leave home. Expecting them to live a life ever-vigilant of masked rapists who sneak in through open windows in the middle of the night is completely unreasonable, and you need to let go of some of your anxiety before they do leave home, or you'll explode.

Bad things happen to good people, and you can't actually prevent anything ever happening to you or to your daughters, no matter how careful you are. But you know, not very often. And especially not in the dramatic, masked intruder sort of way. Your daughters are just living their lives, and they have the right to do that.

Morloth · 03/11/2011 06:00

I have to say, that is quite possibly one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard.

HauntedHengshanRoad · 03/11/2011 06:16

You sound like you have psychological problems.

JaneBirkin · 03/11/2011 06:18

If they are not reliable to stay safe on their own, don't leave them alone. Simple.

I do wonder if this is why teenagers scare themselves sometimes by watching horror films when their parents are away? It might be a subconscious way of teaching themselves to make sure everything is locked. they're as safe as possible etc.

Please don't do what you've suggested in the OP, it could be extremely damaging and could very easily go wrong. it's an awful idea.

lifechanger · 03/11/2011 06:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZonkedOut · 03/11/2011 06:40

I'm with everyone else, YABU. Pay your DB to house sit, or to check the doors (and that they aren't having a party) every night. If he finds them open, go in calling, "Hello" and give them a lecture about how anyone could walk in. They'll probably lock up for a quiet life after that.

MaryPoppinsMagic · 03/11/2011 06:42

Your idea is very unreasonable.

However I do agree that you need to take action to stop them from doing these things!

Me personally..

I would ask a family member to store all my expensive stuff and hide it round there.

Then would be telling the kids that because they left the door open all our stuff has been stolen whilst we were out!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/11/2011 06:46

I can see where you're coming from OP but your plan is full of holes.

Why not just 'employ' your brother to house-sit for the time you're away. That way he can make sure the house is secure and you don't have to rely on your daughters. No masks though.

Thumbwitch · 03/11/2011 08:16

I would suggest that you phone the police instead and ask them to go around and check whether the house is secure (if they have time) - a policeman bashing on the door to tell them they've left the windows wide open might be sufficiently scary without being dangerous or traumatic.

lovelyredwine · 03/11/2011 08:32

Very bad idea as they may actually call the police and someone (who is doing you a bizarre favour) could get arrested. You also never know how people will react in this sort of situation - what happened if they attacked the 'intruder'? In fact, you could be arrested for wasting police time when it all came out as a hoax. You would be told off by the police probably in front of your children and would be made to feel like a tit. If that wasn't bad enough, they could be extremely upset by the whole incident and never trust you again.

I think you know it's a bad idea though, don't you?!