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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask someone to break into my home to scare DDs?

112 replies

ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 21:37

When DH and I went away in the summer for a week we returned (very early morning) to find one of the windows open while teenage DDs age 18 and 19 were in bed asleep. What infuriates me is that anything could have happened to them and they don't seem to care. They told me it was a one-off but I don't believe them.

We are planning to leave them again for a couple of nights over Christmas and I just KNOW they will do it again because many mornings I have come down to find the back door unlocked when one of them has stayed up late.

I said to DH that when we are next away I am going to ask someone to act as a masked intruder to enter the house through the open window to scare them into realising how serious this is. I am prepared to pay them.

DH thinks I'm stark raving bonkers to be thinking of doing this. I don't think he cares as much as I do. AIBU?

OP posts:
Georgimama · 02/11/2011 21:46

You are on the wind up aren't you. I hope so anyway. What kind of person wants to scare their children?

Pancakeflipper · 02/11/2011 21:46

This is a wind up right?

FabbyChic · 02/11/2011 21:46

I leave my back door open all day whilst I am out of the house so my dog can go in the garden. Nothings been pinched yet.

zippadeedoodaa · 02/11/2011 21:47

0/10
try harder next time

travellingwilbury · 02/11/2011 21:47

You are properly bonkers .

fastweb · 02/11/2011 21:47

Best case scenario they'd find out it was down to you and it'd create a huge breech of trust.

Worst case, they never find out it was down to you and be left trumatised longer term (I'm still not over the man who tied to break into out flat a decade ago)

How about going for an annoynace factor rather than terror factor to hammer the point home.

Hire a house sitter cos they can't be trusted with home security yet. Somebody that will impinge on their full enjoyment of the home. Like a very picky, opinionated, "grandmother on steriods" kind of person, should one be to hand. Especially of they can tut to olympic gold standard.

That might bring them around to not overlooking what needs to be done security wise.

Xmasbaby11 · 02/11/2011 21:48

YABU. Give it up.

luckyrocketshipunderpants · 02/11/2011 21:48

Really, really bad idea. Just...no.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 02/11/2011 21:48

No.

What you need to do is to tell them that since they can't be trusted to be responsible for the home in your absence, you are hiring a babysitter to stay at the house while you are away.

Grin
balia · 02/11/2011 21:49

If they can't be trusted to take care of themselves/the house then...NEWSFLASH...

Don't leave them alone in the house.

A nice, non-mental solution.

You loon.

FabbyChic · 02/11/2011 21:49

OMG what is the crime rate like where you live? I seriously think you are being a twonk.

joanofarchitrave · 02/11/2011 21:50

F*cking nora. NO. Yabu x 1,000,000. Read an article at the weekend (about something different) and the writer said she has not slept properly for 20 years since she was broken into at night. In what sense do you 'care' for your daughters?

TBH I am biased because once a month or so I come downstairs to find that I have left my housekey in the front door overnight. And I'm 42. I once had the police knock on my door because I'd unpacked the shopping and then settled down to watch telly, leaving my car with all its doors open and the headlights on. None of this is good, but two adults having the temerity to leave a window open in their own house - come on!! How are you going to cope when they move out?

zippadeedoodaa · 02/11/2011 21:50

I love the word twonk Grin

MenopausalHaze · 02/11/2011 21:50

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more barking bloody mad on here......

YABU and a total howler to boot!

shineypenny · 02/11/2011 21:51

Yes, you are bonkers. I cannot believe that you would find anyone who would be prepared to do this anyway - if you do, they are even more crazy than you.

Let's imagine that your daughters do not go as far as stabbing the intruder, but they, or one of your neighbours, call the police. So, the police turn up and the intruder is going to say 'oh, it's ok officer, the owner asked me to do it'. Confused At the very least, the intruder and you should get charged with wasting police time.

I agree with what has already been said: reiterate the dangers, lock all the downstairs windows and take the keys with you, as long as this will not compromise their escape route in the event of a real emergency. If this will not work, then do not leave them alone - find someone who is prepared to house sit.

usualsuspect · 02/11/2011 21:52

WTF

Original poster
ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 21:52

Yes I know IABU really. What can I do to shake some sense into the girls? I tell them about the intuders Dano Sonex (remember him who climbed in a window and killed the french students?) and that Vincent Tabak guy but they are like yeah yeah yeah Mum. It makes me want to cry.

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/11/2011 21:52

You are quite nuts to even contemplate this.

But - I do have a bucketload of sympathy. My DD's devil-may-care attitude to house security has stressed me out for years (although she's left home now and presumably taken her unlocked-back-door ways with her). The only time I think she really took note was when I pointed out that insurance policies would be invalidated if the house was unsecured and she would be replacing the telly, the laptops, the phones etc etc.

ouryve · 02/11/2011 21:53

YAB bloody stupid.

Original poster
ThoughtCriminal · 02/11/2011 21:54

Thanks fastweb. I like your idea. My DB is very annoying too. That would teach them a lesson!

OP posts:
Ismeyes · 02/11/2011 21:54

YABU. Do you realise what you are risking? YOU will know its not an actual break in. Your DD's will not. They could suffer anxiety, depression or even PTSD as a result. How far are you prepared to pay this 'intruder' to go? Will he break stuff? Shout at them? Actually you are beyond unreasonable.

By your logic, if one of them were walking home by herself at night through and alley, you would pay someone to 'attack' her to teach her a lesson. Would you be prepared to do that?

usualsuspect · 02/11/2011 21:55

was it an upstairs window?

Because my bedroom window is often open all night

Ephiny · 02/11/2011 21:55

I really hope this is not serious. We've had a break-in (not through an open window, they kicked the door down) and burglary while at home, and it was the most terrifying experience of my life, I don't think I'll ever fully get back to being able to feel relaxed and safe in my own home again like I used to be.

Don't think it's even something to joke about really.

Georgimama · 02/11/2011 21:55

Vincent Tabak knocked on the door you loon.

Georgimama · 02/11/2011 21:57

And if you are on the wind up talking about Vincent Tabak is in v v poor taste. V poor taste indeed.