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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My grandad is offended by my sons willy.

108 replies

VajazzleMyFoof · 02/11/2011 14:13

I am potty training my son at the moment. He has just turned two. I put him pants on but he likes to take them off as he 'likes to get air to his bum bum' his words not mine.

Well Grandad is 76 and comes to visit as it is on his way to get his pension. So my son is running around with his top over his head. My partner is a Stoke fan and has taught him first.
Grandad gets offended and asks if i could cover him up as he does not want to see his genitals. I explain he is potty training and likes to hop on and off his potty as he pleases. He then mutters under his breath, makes his excuses and leaves.

Am i been unreasonable to let my two year old have no pants on, in his own home.

OP posts:

seeker · 02/11/2011 14:50

Yes, it's a generational thing. People didn't actually have genitals until about 1963. Before that, babies were delivered by storks or found under gooseberry bushes. Anyone over 50 is going to be shocked by the sight of a willy, but don't worry, if you distract them with a rousing chorus of "Roll out the Barrel" or some other song from their era, they'll be fine.

blackoutthesun · 02/11/2011 15:03

yanbu, then again i got told off once by my bil for changing dd nappy in a room full of people

Original poster

VajazzleMyFoof · 02/11/2011 15:05

It's quite sad. I mean its just a little willy. Its not like my partner is running around shouting about getting air to his bum bum, is it . Now that would offend people.

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 02/11/2011 15:05

Just thinking about this don't think YABU just that some older people are a bit embarrassed by nudity. I don't think that's an ageist thing to say, it's a fact. Was just remembering that when my cousins were at my grandads house recently they went into another room to breastfeed. He didnt ask them to at all I think they all just felt more comfortable like that.

Ooopsadaisy · 02/11/2011 15:08

How can a 2 year old's willy or a breast-feeding mother's boob be classed as nudity?????

I consider myself quite a prude in many ways but this is all very natural stuff.

Small children need to be dressed, bathed and cleaned and learn to use a toilet.

Babies need to be fed, many by a woman's breast. Newsflash - they can't suckle through clothes!

Cherriesarelovely · 02/11/2011 15:13

I know that! I'm not saying it is the "right" way to behave, just it's what they did and what they all seemed comfortable with.

Ooopsadaisy · 02/11/2011 15:16

Cherries - sorry - I wasn't having a go! I was just amazed at behaviour I have never come across before.

We're all different I suppose!

grovel · 02/11/2011 15:20

Cherriesarelovely, you're right. It's a "modesty" thing for some of the older generation. My MiL was more than happy to bathe, dress my DS but I'm pretty sure that she would not have thought it appropriate for him to be running round our house naked (although she would not have said anything).

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 02/11/2011 15:23

To be honest if the old man felt a bit embarrassed or, more likely, thought it was a bit unhygienic I think you should have popped some pants on your DS. It's not really any skin off your nose.

Original poster

VajazzleMyFoof · 02/11/2011 15:29

I did pop him his favourate dinosaur pants on. He laughed ran around the room, then pulled them off. .

His pants go on and off at least 10 times a day. He likes the fresh air too much.

OP posts:

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 02/11/2011 15:30

Fair enough.

fuzzynavel · 02/11/2011 15:35

YANBU, yeah just an old fashioned thing.

I remember my mum letting the man from the prue once to me sitting on my potty straining to do number twos in all my glory [embarrassed]

Janiston · 02/11/2011 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 02/11/2011 15:42

Your grandfather feels uncomfortable. Rightly or wrongly, that is how he feels.

Given the hyped up "paedophile on every corner" attitude in the media, it is unsurprising that many men feel this way and do not wish to ever be in a situation where there may be the slightest possibility that they be accused of anything.

My own husband has a 5yo granddaughter, and whilst he was a very hands on dad with his own children, he has said to me that it is different now in comparison to 25 years ago.

TheSmallClanger · 02/11/2011 15:47

Not everyone is comfortable with naked body parts, however young their owner. It might be an age thing, or it might be that it's just the way your grandad is, for a million reasons. Some people just don't want to be confronted by willies and "bum bums" - I know I'm not a fan myself, and my 13yo DD has a special theatrical eye-aversion gesture for these occasions. I could tell her to get over herself, but if she doesn't want to look at body parts, she just doesn't, and I respect that.

helendigestives · 02/11/2011 17:16

I'm twenty five and I'm definitely not comfortable with nudity. (I'm currently sitting on the sofa in my pants, but that's irrelevant... ) When my friend was breastfeeding her baby I feigned interest in the ceiling/floor/cat because I felt more comfortable not looking, despite the fact that my friend was obviously very comfortable having her boobs out.

northernwreck · 02/11/2011 17:49

Maybe he is uncomfortable with having to watch his grandson do a poo on the potty..?
I hate it when my friends change their babies (or toddlers-urk) nappies in my living room! It smells!

pigletmania · 02/11/2011 17:52

Your grandfather is not offended by your ds willy, but by nudity, I expect it would be the same if you had a dd that was running around without any underwear. A lot of elderly as I said do not like nudity, and do get offended by it, my mum does as did my dad when he was alive.

Original poster

VajazzleMyFoof · 02/11/2011 18:06

I agree with everbodys points of view. Next time i will try and keep his pants on. If i buy him some Thomas the tank engine ones he might want to wear them for longer than 10 seconds .

OP posts:

HappyCamel · 02/11/2011 19:06

YABU a bit. I'd suggest that when anyone other than siblings and parents are at home he should be covered. He needs some dignity and he'll start to learn about acting differently with different people and in different contexts. Maybe try pull ups.

seeker · 03/11/2011 07:17

He's 2. Teaching him that there's something wrong with being naked in front of his grandparents is just ridiculous.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/11/2011 07:29

OP... It's funny and not funny at the same time. He's 2 and busily being 2, doing things that all 2 year olds do. At the same time, he's old enough to start learning that other people's feelings also get taken into account.

You joke about the delivery man seeing his willy BUT how did the delivery man feel about that, really? In this age of accusing everybody of everything? Some parents are neurotic, some not. He doesn't have the choice of whom he delivers to.

Your boy's grandad, clearly uncomfortable with your son running around with no pants on. Yes, you can say 'my house, my rules' but then you need to understand if grandad doesn't want to visit so often, maybe distances from you - not because of his grandson's willy - but becomes of his discomfiture and your complete disregard of it.

aurynne · 03/11/2011 07:51

Perhaps your grandad is offended because your DS's willy is larger than his?

(sorry couldn't help myself )

seeker · 03/11/2011 10:06

It is insane to tell a 2 year old that he can't be naked in his own house in case a delivery man sees his willy.

It is insane to tell a 2 year old that he can't be naked in his own house in case his grandad sees his willy.

Honestly.

Original poster

VajazzleMyFoof · 03/11/2011 10:24

I do put him in pull ups, but he likes to be a 'big boy' as he calls himself and wear pants if only for 10 seconds.

Grandad has been again this morning but my son was fully dressed as he has nursery today so no willys were seen and the atmosphere was a lot calmer.

and Aurynne maybe that is why Grandad is so offended

OP posts:

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