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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think schools should know where their pupils are?

194 replies

stickeywicket · 02/11/2011 11:12

tried to drop off son's (year 8) lunch today that he had forgotten. Receptionist said she would 'do her best to get it to him - we do have 1500 pupils here.' What?? Surely they all they need to do is look at their timetable and know where he is that way. I wouldn't have minded but her manner was so passive/aggressive. She just kept repeating in a very stressed angry way 'we'll do our best'. I left it at that as my son has just started there and he'd die if he thought I was making any kind of fuss. Should I take it up with the head?

OP posts:
Maisiethemorningsidecat · 02/11/2011 11:16

My son has forgotten his packed lunch a couple of times since starting high school 3 years ago - I have dropped it in because I've been off work, able to, and feeling charitable - and it's never been a problem for the staff to get it to him.

They do provide a lunch voucher if children forget their lunch money or packed lunch, and so he would have to go to the office for one if I wasn't able to bring in his lunch. DD started high school recently, and she is so timid compared to her brother I can imagine her doing without her lunch rather than asking for a voucher, poor wee thing.

DaisySteiner · 02/11/2011 11:16

She sounds arsey, but I really don't think it's worth making a fuss about, particularly if he's new. My ds always keeps a couple of pounds in his blazer pocket in case he forgets his lunch, personally I'd do that in future and put it down to experience.

Olderyetwilder · 02/11/2011 11:18

No, don't take it up with the Head, just let DS go without next time he forgets his lunch. Year 8 is plenty old enough to take responsibility for remembering his lunch, and for taking the consequences if he forgets it. It was very accommodating of the receptionist to agree to try to get it to him. Sounds like she was stressed. Maybe more than one parent wanted her to do her best to sort something out?

worraliberty · 02/11/2011 11:21

She sounds stressed and annoyed because she probably is stressed and annoyed with people forgetting food/home work/PE kits etc...She's only human.

Yes, she'll look up his timetable when she has a minute and manages to locate it and then either she or another busy member of staff will trek across the school and deliver your DS's lunch...before trekking back to the office again.

Cut her some slack, she's busy.

Also, you might want to make a copy of your DS's timetable so you can tell them exactly where he is if it ever happens again.

soverylucky · 02/11/2011 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMumInScotland · 02/11/2011 11:25

"Knowing where he is" doesn't actually get the lunch to him though, does it? It isn't really part of her job to trek round the school looking for a specific child, to hand over sopmething which he has forgotten. She's a "receptionist" not a "go-fer" - presumably you'd also be unhappy if the reception desk was unmanned while people undertake tasks which should not be necessary!

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 02/11/2011 11:27

Our school never take the lunch to the pupils - quick look on the computer, call to the teacher and the pupil gets their lunch from the office themselves.

tabulahrasa · 02/11/2011 11:27

If 5 pupils forget their lunch - that's about am hour out of her working day to deliver lunches...

worraliberty · 02/11/2011 11:29

My DS's old Infant school has a LED display in every classroom so the receptionist can send messages calling "so and so" to the office...to cut down on all the foot work.

But that cost literally thousands of pounds out of the school budget and not all schools (especially large senior schools) can afford something like that.

LoveBeingAWitch · 02/11/2011 11:30

You mean you don't have your own copy of his timetable, laminated on your fridge Wink

Acandlelitshadow · 02/11/2011 11:31

She's probably pig sick at the thought of running round after yet another child who's more than old enough to think for themselves. The school will sort out a lunch for any pupil who hasn't got one and if it happens again, you may find having to sort it out for himself may concentrates your son's mind wonderfully.

Don't take it up with the head. You'll make yourself look like a tit.

manicbmc · 02/11/2011 11:33

He forgot his lunch. Unless there is some valid SN reason that he forgot, then I'd have left him to go hungry. It won't kill him and may be he'll remember it in future.

If my mum had turned up at school with my lunch when I was that age, I would have been mortified.

seeker · 02/11/2011 11:34

Did he know you were bringing it in? Then surely it's up to him to go to the office and collect it, not up to her to take it to him?

ZZZenAgain · 02/11/2011 11:34

I think they know where to find him as you said in the OP, she just felt annoyed about it. Don't worry too much

gettingalifenow · 02/11/2011 11:34

Why don't you text him and tell him you've left it at reception for him to pick up?

pipkins1968 · 02/11/2011 11:35

She was probably just a grumpy person and had every intention of getting him his lunch, but needed you to know that her day is very busy to justify the wage she is earning. I also bet she grumbled about it at lunch time to her co workers who all rolled their eyes at her.

Some people just huff and puff at the easiest activity.

handbagCrab · 02/11/2011 11:35

Well the school does know where the pupils are but funnily enough the receptionist does not personally know where each individual child is at any given time.

There are probably some pupils helping her out who will be able to take your son's lunch to him when they've done whatever it is they're already doing.

And no, you really shouldn't contact the head of a large secondary school about this! Save it for something important, such as a lost pencil case :)

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/11/2011 11:35

No dont take it up with the head, as candle says, you will look a right tit! ......she is probably awash with things like that, one kid (or 100 kids) forgot his lunch, Bert in year 9 has lost his jumper and his mum wants to know where it is and NOW etc etc........and like someone else said, year 8 is certainly old enough to take responsibility for taking his lunch to school. Really, he should go down to her and get it ...it's not really her job to track him down is it...imagine if all the kids forgot their lunch, would be a nightmare.

worraliberty · 02/11/2011 11:35

Most kids are not allowed to have their phones on during school hours

Well they're not here anyway...they'd have them confiscated.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 02/11/2011 11:38

Imagine if all 1500 pupils forgot something...

suzikettles · 02/11/2011 11:38

Yep, she will find him and he'll be summoned to the office to get his lunch himself.

The purpose of the "do my best" huffing was to signal to you that she was doing you a big favour and that she's very busy and you should be very grateful.

The expected response was a bit of grovelling, profusive thanks and then on your way.

cat64 · 02/11/2011 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ephiny · 02/11/2011 11:44

She could have been more polite and kept her feelings to herself! But I don't think it's worth getting offended and complaining to the Head about. After all you were inconveniencing her and expecting a favour, it's not her job really to make sure your DS has his lunch. I expect however he probably will get it one way or another!

DejaWho · 02/11/2011 11:48

Most school office staff won't have immediate recollection of the timetable of Freddie from 8BJ. They'll know where to go to look it up, and, shockingly "do her best to get it to him."

It was a figure of speech and phrased a certain way - and you're going to go run up to the school taking offence at this?!?!?! If she'd said "fuck off I'm going to eat his sandwiches myself" then yep you'd be allowed to be offended - but she's probably had to go deliver about 20 lunches that morning, digging the timetable file out each time and trekking to the arse end of the school each time.

I'd recommend going huffing and puffing up to the school - give everyone a good laugh at the utter utter overreaction.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 02/11/2011 12:00

She shouldn't have to deliver any lunches herself - a quick call or email to the teacher in question and the pupil goes and get it themselves from the office. Either that or she deals with line of pupils at lunchtime who all need emergency lunch vouchers and she has to write out an invoice slip for all the parents, which is no doubt another inconvenience for her!

Isn't this hassle part and parcel of being a school secretary?!