to think schools should know where their pupils are?

[stickeywicket]

tried to drop off son's (year 8) lunch today that he had forgotten. Receptionist said she would 'do her best to get it to him - we do have 1500 pupils here.' What?? Surely they all they need to do is look at their timetable and know where he is that way. I wouldn't have minded but her manner was so passive/aggressive. She just kept repeating in a very stressed angry way 'we'll do our best'. I left it at that as my son has just started there and he'd die if he thought I was making any kind of fuss. Should I take it up with the head?

I am intrigued by why she "kept repeating (it)" though. Is it because the OP kept on at her. I think we should be told.

giraffe no - I think having a lunch credit or whatever is preferable.

I just don't find it surprising that people (of any age) forget things now and then.

Me too.

True. Why would she keep repeating it unless she kept on at the receptionist?

Quite, Jenai

Of course people forget things now and again. However, I suspect that they are less careful with ensuring that they bring all their stuff with them if they know that Mum will sort it all out and they won't have to worry about sitting out of PE or getting in trouble over missing homework or having to ask their mates for lunch.

I don't think people forgetting things is surprising or unacceptable

Nor do I think the OPs stressed passive-aggressive receptionist is surprising or even unacceptable

As a further illustration of how some parents do not understand the scale and size of the school that their child attends - it is quite common for absence messages to be left (despite all the information requested in the absence line prompt) by parents referring to their child as "Billy" or "Jaz"

Not a surname, let alone a class or year group!

This then requires a call back to the number logged with the message - if there is one.

One parent calls the school and refers to her son by his family nickname - and cannot understand why we don't always know who she means. Perfectly lovely and well-meaning - but not a Scooby about there being an additional 1499 children to deal with.

I just wish I'd thought to ask the ex's mother this important question.

Of course people forgte things. However, teaching children how to deal with having forgotten something is a REALLY important life skill - and one that they won't learn if Mum picks up the slack and does the remembering for them...

Planning ahead...'What would you do if you ever forgot your lunch' 'Oh, I'll put a few £ in an envelope in my locker just in case / I'd ask my mate X / I'd be able to get a free lunch and pay it back the next day'

Taking the consequences...'I forgot my homework, I'm sorry, I'll bring it in tomorrow, yes I know that means a detention.'

Taking responsibility 'I'll organise my own lunch'

Honestly, it is nearly always boys.

Yes Hullygully you assume right. I was v. polite. Always am. It's made me want to keep my distance from the school (which of course is probably exactly what receptionists like this want).

OP - please can you clarify - was she arsey or stressy?

and why/how did she "keep repeating"?

well you simply can't have been polite if the receptionist had to "keep repeating"

Your child should have remembered or gone hungry or arranged to have a school lunch.

A 1500 strong school and you complained to the deputy-head I am seriously still aghast on your behalf at this - ridiculous behaviour

I bet I was that receptionist!!!

Today I have had 3 pe kits, one bunch of keys, 4 lunches, 2 lots of cookery ingredients, 2 amounts of lunch money and one packet of throat sweets with a drink and a pair of socks!! And that was between 8.15 and 1.15. My colleague probably got a whole lot more brought in.

I'm still trying to think of an urgent message that couldn't wait until lunch or just before hometime. I suppose a family needing to run away or a emergency journey to a dying relative maybe. There's not many cases where a student needs to be located immediately by parents.

At my school, (I'm admin, not on reception), there are usually at least 5 packed lunches on the counter at lunchtime which have been dropped off by various parents during the morning, (along with 10 PE kits, 3 lots of cooking ingredients, 2 library books, a pair of glasses, some trainers and several door-keys ).

If a child realises they haven't got their lunch, they come to the receptionist to see if it is there, or, if not, borrow lunch money to be paid pack the next day. Our receptionist isn't allowed to leave reception unattended, and there aren't any "spare" staff to run around dropping off lunches and PE kit to all and sundry, but she does tell parents she will "do her best". More urgent items like the door-keys will usually be sent with the teacher, but aren't passed on until the teacher is in the staff room at lunch.

The only job that is ever refused, (politely, I might add), is "Johnny forgot his homework and Miss Smith says he'll have detention if he forgets to hand it in again, can you deliver it to him so he doesn't get into trouble?"

We always say no to that one, and explain why. I would imagine those Mums post on here calling us rude and think about complaining to the Dep Head!

8yo I may be inclined to agree with you. Year 8 it's just one of those things and he needs to learn to take responsibility for himself.

Yes the receptionist was rude, the 1 in DS Infants school was horrific and thought she was a GP but ultimatly she does have a point.

Some advice OP, you do not piss off the admin staff of any school. They are the ones who keep everything running smoothly. They can make your life a misery if they choose to.

I bet she didn't give a shit about your son's lunch and nor should she.

What if your son's teacher decided to take the class to the library, computer room, combine with another lesson? There are countless places he could be.

Stop wasting school staff's time and then having the nerve to complain about it.

I'm still wondering how the 'quick call to the teacher would sort it' really imagine that happening.

Teacher is in the middle of explaining a tricky quadratic equation.
BRING BRING! Oh no! It's the Forgotten Lunch Hotline! There must be an emergency!
'What's that? Little Johnny has forgotten his pack-up? Dear God!....His mum has helicoptered in some Lunchables and a Capri Sun? Oh sweet relief!'
'Little Johnny? Get over to admin straight away. No, forget your maths, this is important'.

Pmsl @ Noblegiraffe