to think schools should know where their pupils are?

[stickeywicket]

tried to drop off son's (year 8) lunch today that he had forgotten. Receptionist said she would 'do her best to get it to him - we do have 1500 pupils here.' What?? Surely they all they need to do is look at their timetable and know where he is that way. I wouldn't have minded but her manner was so passive/aggressive. She just kept repeating in a very stressed angry way 'we'll do our best'. I left it at that as my son has just started there and he'd die if he thought I was making any kind of fuss. Should I take it up with the head?

Does your DH forget important things at work? Miss meetings? Not complete reports on time?

Don't even go there noble.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar - and absolutely you should - that would be the healthy way of working with a growing adult. DD2 still does rarely ask if we can drop things over and if we are able to, we will, but we also don't go out of our way now as she has taken the piss such a lot in the past - her teachers all know what she is like and her HOY supports

I think there is also a difference between forgetting a book, and forgetting lunch - DD2 can't forget her lunch money because if she forgot her lunch money it would also mean she'd forgotten her bus money and she wouldn't have got further than the bus stop down the road. So going hungry isn't going to happen (except for when she spends her lunch money on stuff she shouldn't, and that's her own fault).

Seriously, it is an interesting issue. I am hyper organised and efficient and had never lived with anyone like dh. It used to drive me beyond mental, I can't tell you how many times we've had to cancel all the credit cards because he's driven off with the wallet on the car roof/ dropped it etc, how many times keys have wandered off, how many appointments are missed, planes nearly, how late he always is for everything.

But I realised he doesn't do it on purpose, he is just vague. So now I keep an eye on things, send a text to say Leave Now etc and we bumble along ok. Ds isn't as bad, but it's definitely the same tendency.

I come up with all sorts of coping strategies for them, but sanctions would be cruel as it is completely unintentional, it would be like punishing someone for dyslexia (they both have that too), or dyspraxia.

GML - often in my school I would be unaware of trips - the pupils would go out of a different entrance at the other end of the school to get on a coach. We have a leisure centre attached to us (we are a sports college) so even if I saw a coach coming in/going out it could be pupils from another school doing say swimming lessons.

I am not a reception for pupils, I am a reception for visitors, contractors, deliveries etc.

Maybe I could ring the HoY to find out or the Attendance Dept but they may not be at their desk and quite often the HoY is teaching so I couldn't ask.

That's interesting. I just assumed that there would be a big wall planner or something :o Yes, we often get put through to another teacher and mostly they had no intention of turning up

It's a long time since I left school and DD isn't quite there yet but I guess I thought the office was the centre of All Knowledge!

we have no evidence that this receptionist was actually rude, rather than just a bit exasperated. Or possibly having a bad minute/half hour, which is only human.

We do have a bit of evidence that this OP possibly thinks people are there to run around for her and for her only, and will complain if they don't doff their cap. And she's rude for not coming back to this thread to talk to people who have bothered to respond to her thread.

Nope, no big wall planners in the main reception - only our mission statement and photos of what the school has done in cabinets.

Perhaps if the OP had of come in to my school this morning, I would have been the same as the "OP's receptionist". I had a lot going on. Work to get (via my helper) for those kids in internal seclusion. Parents ringing wanting to know why their little Jonny/Mary was in there because they had not misbehaved etc etc. a child walking off site and then I have to ring Attendance so they can txt home.

I also had a parent in reception with anger issues (seriously) and another set of parents who had brought their son to look around our school as they were thinking if changing schools - and all this is happening at once. It was a bloody nightmare!

You get to shoot those ones, Bella.

If only I could Hully, if only I could.

Seriously, no one is to be left alone with this parent (tis on file) as he is a really really angry man.

I was worried that ds1 would be shockingly disorganised when he went to secondary, but he just learned routines and got himself sorted.

Between them the boys have been there 4 full years now, plus 1 term.

I have never dropped anything off for them that they've forgotten. If they forget something, then they have to sort out contingency arrangements for themselves; and face the consequences.

I had a parent stopping me rudely this morning as I was in reception and being rather demanding that I sort out "little Johnny's" lunch account - parent did not know who I am or what my role is but felt it appropriate to demand this of me because I am an adult in an educational setting

The fact I had left a meeting with the police regarding a serious incident with 2 of my students to grab a file was none of her business

so yes I was polite

but the sense of entitlemet and that I must be there to help them is amazing

Ds1 was hopelessly disorganised when he started senior school, and within the first few weeks, he rang me several times asking me to drop off things he'd forgotten - he would meet me outside the office at breaktime. The last time I did this, the receptionist came out and sent ds1 off with a flea in his ear, telling him parents weren't allowed into the school willy nilly during the day. When he'd gone, she turned to me with a smile and said, 'I hope you didn't mind my saying that - it's not really a problem you being in school, but I am sure it's an extra hassle you don't need, to have to keep dropping off forgotten stuff at school - so hopefully now he will remember his things!'

Someone has asked why the receptionist in the OP 'kept on repeating that she'd do her best' - I would assume it is because the OP kept on and on at her about getting this lad's lunch to him and how important it was.

I do now usually take the view that if the dses forget something, they have to take the consequences. Ds1 is off to university next year, and I am not going to be there to fetch and carry stuff he has forgotten, so he does need to learn to take responsibility for his own stuff. If one of them forgets his lunch money or some homework, they go hungry or get a detention or punishment exercise - I am not gleeful about this, but consider it to be fair.

Perhaps the receptionist in the OP was stressed and let it spill over into her manner, which she shouldn't have done - but she is human, and I know that I have sometimes responded similarly when stressed - I suspect most people on this thread would say the same if they are being honest. I do suspect that the receptionist was polite until the OP carried on nagging her.

I have to say that I am utterly gobsmacked at the OP ringing the deputy head 'because that is what the staff are there for' - fgs the deputy head has plenty more important things on his/her plate than chastising the receptionist for not grabbing the lunch and hotfooting it round the school in search of little Johnny!

This bastard called Little Johnny is a real delinquent, isn't he?

I suspect he looks something like this

That's him Talcy

yy pore ol Little Johnny

Dd's school has a card system for school dinners - so if parents are concerned that their kids are too forgetful or don't trust them not to spend the dinner money on their dinner, they can put money on the card. Most kids just take dinner money and put it on the cards themselves but it gives parents the option and is helpful for those with SN.

If I forget my lunch on a busy day I won't have time to go out and get one. But I wouldn't expect our secretary to go chasing me either. A Yr 8 is on the way to growing up; I think it is time for them to start planning for these emergencies themselves instead of relying on mummy.

My dcs know that I can't chase after them because I don't drive and it would be an extra hour on the bus, making me late for work. It seems to concentrate their minds wonderfully.

Ds (Yr 7) is naturally very vague, but tbh I want him to start learning that there are consequences to vagueness and you choose whether to plan in advance or take those consequences.