AIBU to think people shouldnt be getting money for having children?

[normality]

i know it is is controversal but i dont understand why some people feel the entitlement to get money for having children and aibu to think it should stop?

I think that if people want children then they should have them but they should not feel they are entitled for some kind of monetary hand out for having them

I especially feel like getting money for being pregnant like the sure start grant, maternity grant, healthy start vouchers ect should not happen because if you cant afford to have a child why should the goverment pay you to do this? what about the people who do not have any children and choose not to or can not why should they miss out on multiple grants and vouchers when they are paying more and more taxes to support the people who choose to have children and then choose not to work?

• i have a dd and although i wanted a large family i could not afford to have more than one child so stopped but never claimed any grants ect because i did not want to be paid for being pregnant as it was my choice

Nor a tax break, natation.

www.ukpublicspending.co.uk/uk_total_spending_pie_chart

Blimey Xenia you're practically perfect in every way.

your piechart is for Year 2012. it is an estimate POST cuts - when the benefits bill has been reduced.

so you think the benefit cuts are a good idea?

are you a turkey voting for Christmas?

Most mothers are in NO FIT STATE to go back to work with a 2 week old. I could barely get dressed. There is a reason that we have maternity leave you know.

And that's it isnt Zenia - it comes down to personal choice, eat rubbish food, put on loads of weight, decide not to work, have some children but how dare people critizise us!

Well all the things I have just mentioned are personal choices, they are not something that has just happened or have nothing to do with us. If you have made bad choices in men then tough - you will have to take the consequences of anything YOU decide to do with this person, if there are consequences (good and bad) on the decisions that we make maybe we might think more carefully what we CHOOSE to do. Why on earth would you feel entitled for example to have a 4th child on us!!

Pride comes before a fall Xenia. Wish I was as perfect as you - I wonder if I would have as many friends?

We have all made mistake married - but some just make the same mistakes again and again or refuse to take any personal resposibility for their decisions. My DH and I have both worked full time (I took 4 months off with each DS) and when we retire we will have good pensions and so I would bloomin well hope so - after 40 years of working I would expect to. And of course I will be paid the state pension along with people that have not funded it in any way! Is that fair??

So, actually I am not just paying into my pension I am paying for others as well.

Rocky Are you really so naive as to believe that everything comes down to personal choice? That just beggars belief.

2 weeks old! Me and the baby hadn't even made it out of the hospital by the time he was 2 weeks old.

Who exactly do you think would have these baby's? Nurserys don't take them from that age and there are no cm in this area that take them that young, you do realise that not everyone can afford a nanny don't you?

Real world please

Why the F would you have a baby only to leave it at 2 weeks old anyway?!

Why bother having a child at all?

No, not everything but I see people around me who refuse to work - they are better off on benefits, they dont see any problem in not paying in - they just want to take out. The welfare state is bloated, the sense of entitlement amongst people who live on benefits has never been higher. Unless we give some disincentives for making certain decisions then things wont change. If you live in for example in a run down part of the country - consider moving, think about what you want to do with your life. MY DH moved from a very precious part of the UK (to him!) to get a job and he is doing very well. Of course he could have stayed there and earned 1/4 of what he earns now, but he realised that moving was the only way he could achieve his ambitions.

for all the talk about human rights, real world, blah, blah, looking at this thread, I don't think people on benefits give a shit about the rest of us working to pay our own bills & theirs.

the good news is the majority of people in the UK want reform & its going to happen.

i don't like the Tories but aint democracy grand!

I am perfectly happy with my life choices. I don't care about million pound houses. I could work more, get an au pair and earn much more money if I wanted to. I don't want to. I want to spend time with my only child, not be swanning round the world on business trips.

I have been LUCKY! Despite humble beginnings, I was clever enough to pass the 11+ and go to Grammar School, lucky that I had a family who believed in the importance of education and supported me. Lucky that I managed to get a job in the right place at the right time that paid for me to do further study and encouraged me to move up. I have done OK - could have done BETTER I think but that is down to me. But most of what has happened in my life is down to genes and a supportive (if poor) family.

If I had not had the educational opportunities, if I had had to go to the local comp (which I wanted to do, as all my friends were going) my life might have been entirely different. It makes me MAD that there is this tutoring scenario going on now - the fighting for places that discriminates against poorer children.

I agree Tilly, people on benefits dont care about people that are paying for them to stay where they are, why would they? The swearing and abuse from the people who live on benefits to posters on this thread that are wondering why we dont reform the welfare state is surprising.

How can it be right that two working parents - regardless of their income are worse off then someone who has x number of children living on benefits

I agree about the 11+ tutoring. Grammar schools are private schools for the middle class who want to be smug and say they still believe in state education. Around here (Bucks) you need tutoring to pass the 11+ full stop, of course someone will come on and say their DS/DD just turned up with no preparation and passed with flying colours. Not around here they wont! And what is tutoring, is it paying someone to tutor your child, what if you did it yourself. Its almost like cheating...

You think more people should leave their babies at two weeks ?

i would be intrested when xenias children have dc if they are rushing back to work when their dc are 2 weeks old or they going to look at their child and wonder

Oh, Xenia.

To me it IS cheating. I think each school in catchment should have a quota to even take the test. Only the brightest % from each school as decided on perfomance to date,

Rockly its funny, you asked the same question earlier & didnt get answered did it?

i wrote earlier about the illnesses of my working DP who has Crohns disease....and my prolifically paralysed father who worked till he could not move.

i dont recall getting any compassion then...did i miss any kind words from the people who claim to care so much about people's welfare? compassion? no that street only goes in one way!

no none said anything because it did not fit the benefits model. successful people getting ill, may be dying, but keeping on trucking as best they can for good and right reasons.

(oh & i have written about my dad on other threads so am obviusly not making it up)

Do you mean me Rocky?

The post earlier about being perfect was the most vomit inducing big headed boasting I have ever heard in my life. I am so glad I don't know anyone like that in RL. So glad.

Because I'm not on fucking benefits

oh & he died because after his legs, his arms, his core muscles, his neck, his swallow muscles stopped working.

but i clearly know nothing about disabilty.