to want one, just one, coffee shop, cafe, eating place to be child free?

[NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat]

AIBU? Really?

All I ask for is that between the hours of 11 and 2 during the week my precious half hour lunch break is not interrupted by my ankles being rammed by a pushchair, or a grubby little urchin throwing food or wailing or just being within a 5 meter radius of me. It's not much. Actually, rewind, can I just ban the ineffectual mums that come with said urchins?

I love kids. I just don't love them between the hours of 8am and 6pm Monday to Friday.

AIBU to just want a small bit of child free/floppy parenting sanctuary?

Admittedly, I did twist it, but you're just being silly. Some children are, admittedly, very annoying. But then I've sat next to a lot of adults who have been complete twats in restaurants, completely ruining my enjoyment. Can't ban them!

YABU. And a fucking misery to boot. Eat your sandwich at your desk if it's that vital that you don't see kids in your lunch break. Unless you work in a nursery in which case you need to think about a career change.

cross post: too slow

ah this is taking a bad turn

any really boring tourist attractions nearby? I used to go to this little museum that was soooo dull but they had a little cafe that was usually empty

What's floppy parenting, anyway? Do you mean softy types?

I don't get it. When I am in places with kids I don't notice them. They are just patrons of that cafe like everyone else. Sure you get annoying kids and parents but you also get annoying teenagers, annoying couples, annoying people from every walk of life. That is the facts of life when you live in and engage with society. To start banning one segment is unreasonable and wrong. So you just need to suck it up.

YANBU, though I'm surprised you can't find anywhere. I live in Kiddie Centrale and even round here, there are plenty of cafes which are inaccessible to small children in many ways (steps, food etc). To the extent that when i sit in the main one that IS accessible - Starbucks - I'm always stunned by the large number of young professionals sitting there tutting over their laptops because the marauding toddlers are putting them off their social media presentation. I want to say to them, "There are so many places you can go! Why come in here?"

But I don't disagree with your sentiment. When I don't have my dc with me the very last thing in the world I want is to be around other people's dc.

YANBU. Nothing worse than a coffee shop being invaded by noisy kids and dopey parents.

helpmabob - EXACTLY! Last night, I couldn't be arsed to cook, so I went to a local restaurant with my little girl (1 year) and asked for a table for 2, admittedly with a high chair! A lot of miserable types looked well pissed off when we came in, but she was good as gold. Unlike the tosser at the next table talking in loud tones about immigation!

"floppy parenting" Oh I love it. I'm stealing that

I started feeling like this as ds got older the older he got the more irritating I found little kids in cafes! He is 17 now and I have no patience left but I just remember when ds was little and starbucks was sometimes a sanctuary for me for an hour with a coffee and a paper so I grit my teeth and accept I am just grumpy. Strangely when I look after friend's dd who is 5 I take her to all manner of cafes and her antics don't bother me at all and anyone who frowns I proclaim a miserable old bat under my breath. Its called getting old!

Olivetti Excellent point

The OP has said what she meant i.e. that pushchairs can move everywhere in the cafes because they are also wheelchair friendly.

Back to the OP, YANBU. It's not the kids so much as the massive buggy ramming entitled parents who seem to think everyone should accommodate their DC behaving like mini tyrants expressing themselves.

There, that feels better

at floppy parenting. I would sooner not share a cafe with kids who are being ineffectually looked after but am not fussed about kids generally. Would put badly behaved kids in same bracket as load teenagers or overbearing/ drunk types . Tbh though nothing beats the braying customer on next table - I have asked to move cos of that but never cos of kids.

noddyholder I am NOT getting old I'm not I'm not!!

I'm going to have to go in search of SOMEWHERE to avoid these people. Or just people in general.

Olivetti yes. The one's who do the "no dear no dear no dear no that person doesn't want hoummous on their work suit oh you've already done it dear never mind no dear don't do it again dear"

Oh yes Helen- by all means have a large pushchair (I can see why need one esp if have 2 kids) but don't expect it to assume magical shape shifting qualities in small spaces/narrow pavements and expect others to jump out way.

YANBU.

Olivetti - it is NOT the public's job to socialise others' children!

Perhaps you should do a Victoria Beckham, and demand that the restaurant closes so that you can have it all to yourself while you eat your lunch.

I know folk in wheelchairs who would gladly not have screaming small children around - especially the ones who leave their bikes/scooter in shop doorways meaning we can't get in

i have not sneakily booted them out of the way at all ever oh no not me

Move to Durham. It's pretty wheelchair/buggy/wonky ankle unfriendly all around and loads of buildings have no ramps or lifts or anything because they can't be adapted or don't have level street access in the first place. (A recent attempt to make the cobbled market place more wheel friendly without losing the character has made it lethal for the visually impaired because there are now no kerbs).

Thre's plenty of kid free places to eat, there. You'll just have students and tourists to moan about, instead.

Go to a pub? It's not fair. There is no place for a parent to go with a child in a pushchair anymore is there? Whether its on a bus or a bloody cafe, someone is always pissed off. You're a horrible person.

And why are buggies so damn huge these days? They're like fecking tanks!

[hgrin] @ floppy parenting. YANBU.

I don't have any objections to kids being in cafes so long as they're sat in their (high)chair and not throwing food around.

I did get several minutes entertainment from one little girl, a few months back, whose mum and mum's friend were trying their best, unsuccessfully, to get her into a high chair.

Oh yes, I agree with that re floppy parenting. They should know they are going to get a major bollocking if they are naughty, and be taken home.

DogsBeastFriend - we all have an effect on children. It's not society's job to discipline them. However, if we treat them as an alien species and decide they are a nuisance in public areas, we can't then expect them to integrate well at a time and place of everyone's exact ideal choosing.