to want one, just one, coffee shop, cafe, eating place to be child free?

[NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat]

AIBU? Really?

All I ask for is that between the hours of 11 and 2 during the week my precious half hour lunch break is not interrupted by my ankles being rammed by a pushchair, or a grubby little urchin throwing food or wailing or just being within a 5 meter radius of me. It's not much. Actually, rewind, can I just ban the ineffectual mums that come with said urchins?

I love kids. I just don't love them between the hours of 8am and 6pm Monday to Friday.

AIBU to just want a small bit of child free/floppy parenting sanctuary?

"I am a floppy parent after a few stiff drinks"

Love the (fully intended) irony of that!

OP, YANBthatU - much though I like the fact that most places will accommodate DS, it is also nice to (as you say) go out and be able to swear and be verbally inappropriate with friends, without worrying about little ears around.

YABU - lunchtime is lunchtime whatever age you are.

What a grump.

BTW - my DD has never thrown food when we've been out eating :)

Exactly Pagwatch.

It's not so much the marauding children than the parents doing absolutely nothing to correct their behaviour, thems the floppy ones.

OP YANBU

I don't mind the children at all-I mind the parents who won't correct their behaviour. People would be much more childfriendly if parents bothered to contain and amuse their own DCs.

Yes. I have been out when a parent has been struggling with a child having a bad day. I have nothing but sympathy. But the slightly pleading 'oh darling, that isn't a good idea, look that lady will come and tell you off..' just ruins everyones experience

But where are parents to go when they want to ignore their children?

Stay home?

YANBU, although it never bothers me, but that's because I've always loved children, and find them amusing, (except when they have epic tantrums but then I think thank the lord they're not with me ha ha). I totally accept that everyone is different though and some people do want child- free time and as some parents seem completely unable to keep control of their children, then kid-free cafes and restaurants seem to be the only solution!

I sometimes take DS out for lunch, dinner etc, and if he was to mis- behave we wouldn't be staying because I would feel bad to be upsetting other diners. However I think the problem is, some parents just want to have their time in the restaurant/cafe whatever, and no matter how annoying their dc's are, they care not because the parent is staying and enjoying their meal/wine/coffee! I actually quite admire their ability to completely ignore their children running wild. However I do think when these children are running under the feet of waiting on staff carrying hot food it is the time these ignorant parents need to wake up and start parenting!

we have a lovely health club nearby with a child free lounge. you don't have to be a member to use it but not many people know about it. i go there when i want to escape my kids for a bit!

surely there must be a few child unfriendly places near you? there are a few in our local town with several impossible steps to get into, never been in any of them with my double buggy but am betting there aren't many kids in there.

"But where are parents to go when they want to ignore their children?"

FFS! If you want to ignore your children you'd be best off leaving them at childcare! Why the fuckety fuck should everyone else have to put up with your children doing what the hell they want because you've had enough of dealing with them? [hhmm]

But sometimes you just need a change of scene...

Obviously it's terrible that parents and their children are uniquely badly behaved in a world of good manners, considerate behaviour and forebearance from everyone else.

But all we can do is tut and disapprove and make people with toddlers ashamed to leave the house to meet their friends.

I mean really, wasn't the world better when women knew their place was in the home ignoring their children while they did the housework?

It is awful that there are now establishments that actively seek these lazy bitches and their horrible children as customers.

Just because a parent wants to ignore their child doesn't mean that every other person who is out and about doing their own thing should have to be bothered by it.

Its not my child so therefore I should not have to sit there being bothered by small people coming up to me and asking me inane questions or touching my food or screaming their heads off running around the room whilst hot food / drink is being carried.

I am expecting any day and love going out with my friends and their little ones, but if the little ones play up my friends disipline them and don't sit there ignoring them to the detriment of everyone else in the room who also has as much right to be there are my friends little ones.

As someone said if people want a quiet time they shouldn't ignore their children but should pay for childcare or in the case of my friends I will entertain their little one so they can enjoy their drink / meal. It is not societies responsibility to deal with others children for them, if that makes life difficult again I am sorry for the parent but it's not my fault and I shouldn't be penalised for it by having my time ruined by their parenting choices.

I am genuinely confused by your posts SheCutOff

When you said "But where are parents to go when they want to ignore their children?" I assumed you were joking.

We have talked here about floppy parenting and what is meant by this is the parents who do nothing to correct their child's behaviour in public therefore inflicting badly behaved children on strangers.

As Pag said we all have sympathy for the parent who is clearly struggling with a child, - but who is obviously trying to correct them, no-one has said that these mothers are 'lazy bitches with horrible children' is that what you are suggesting?

SCOTT - I know you are being facetious but still...

You could set up a new chain of coffee shops for intolerant people, there is obviously a gap in the market.

'CFC' for child free coffee....

Children in coffee shops don't bother me. I was in a cafe with my SIL the other day, we were chatting, and she suddenly said 'don't you want to throttle that family?' I looked round and there was a dc playing the mouth organ and others banging their cutlery as an accompaniment... I honestly hadn't noticed, too busy stuffing my face with waffles.

Oh , but if they have a TV or shit music on, I want to leave immediately...

YANBU. MY friend invited me to a party at her house (didn't invite my DCs). I presumed it was childfree, got there and her daughter/daughter's friend was there. Friend got out twister and expected everyone to join in with the children. NO,no,no - my children were at home.

Of course I was joking. I still am. But the thing I'm laughing at is the thread of women tutting at and disapproving of mothers because their children are badly behaved in public.

That was the OP's mistake - instead of making this about space just for adults, she introduced the "sneering at ineffectual mothers" clause, and you just knew where this was going -

"oh, my children are wonderful and must be allowed everywhere, but other people's children are just awful. Awful! Do you know, they make noise, speak to people, have fun? Appalling!

I second ^^ 'I don't know where you all get your confidence that your parenting is amazing. I'm just doing my best'.

Plus having thought about this a bit further, I'll take the houmous-wielding children of liberal parents (who wants to be an illiberal parent/person anyway ffs) over the totally unsocialised kids you will never ever see in cafes.

oh honestly. one minute the op wants a child free 1/2hr, the next we are all being insulted for being lazy mothers with badly behaved kids. doesn't take much for some people to get offended does it?

Agreed, SCOTT - but there should also be a place available for people like the OP. It appears that wherever she works, it has swung too far in the other direction so that everywhere is open to children, however well or badly behaved - and that's almost as bad as nowhere being available for families with small children to go (but not quite)

YABU

AIBU to want to go for a cup of tea without being surrounded by boring office workers playing on their iphones and tutting at the sight of a buggy?

Probably

I am disapproving of mothers who do nothing to correct their child's behaviour in public.

You are saying you do try to correct yours so you don't fall into that category anyway so why all the uppity?

It's already been said dealing with a toddler meltdown is one thing, and I do have sympathy when I see a parent dealing with this. Ignoring your children when out in public and letting them wander around to bother other people is another.

So we're all agreed? If you have kids, go to chains or if you go to an independent leave avoid between 1230 and 1430.

Can we extend this to retirees too please? Bugged the he'll out of me the way old dears would be mooching about M&S food when I was trying to get a box for sushi/other poncy treat food when I was on my work lunch hour!