Dog off lead running at DD in park

[megcleary]

AIBU to have roared at man who said oh he won't hurt her.

My comments on his dog owning skills included the fact there is no sign on the dog to say he won't attack DD, the dog should be on a lead, sign as you enter park and the dog did not return/ respond when he called it.

His response was to tell me to shut up.

I hate dogs on the loose in the park.

Where I live now, we have a lot of beautifully-mannered dogs and very responsible owners. I've only seen a dog roaming free twice, and both times the owner as looking for it within ten minutes as it had escaped. I walk on the Downs and have met many off-leash with excellent recall and alert owners who have good control.
It can be done.
It is also completely different to the area I moved from, when my children were small. That truly had every example of poor ownership possible on a daily basis. Including aggressive staffies and mastiffs sometimes without an owner in sight. Numerous incidents reported in the local press and a general indifference to changing things.

rubyrubyruby Yeah. Dog owners never change do they.

I don't think it is an issue of liking dogs or not, it is about how to behave when people/ animals invade what we consider our personal space.

This is obviously with regard to non-threatening situations, not a dog lunging at you or a person waving a knife in you, when we are talking about survival, not social norms.

I was taught as a kid to have very little regard for my own personal space, but to be very considerate of others, especially adults. Even now, I always say sorry if someone brushes against me, even if it was the other person who drifted over, iyswim.

But I see with kids that they often just don't get that they need to be considerate. In supermarkets, I will walk around a kid and say sorry, and he/she will stand in the middle of the aisle and not move. The parents say nothing. I think we as a society, may be too focused on making sure kids understand their rights and are protected from all uncomfortable encounters, and in doing that, we are heading towards an intolerant society, where people are not willing to laugh and be gracious about others in their environment.

rubyrubyruby I hated dogs looooooong before I became a parent. But yes, my attitude did harden after my DS was attacked, bitten and had to have 20 stitches by an off the lead dog on a beach where dogs were banned when he was a toddler. That sort of thing does focus the mind.

Gosh, callmemrs. I don't have a sense of entitlement. Really! Quite the reverse. I am forever apologising to others and never push myself forward for anything. My dog has never nicked a sandwich to date, as far as I know. I am just imagining what would happen if a dog came to my picnic and I honestly don't get why it would be more than a small inconvenience. Certainly not a matter to throw a tantrum about...I don't think people should allow their dogs to go to other people's picnics, but really, is it such a major deal that we have to forever put the dog on the leash and ban it from all normal interactions?

Flatbread, while I mostly understand what you are saying, and I say this as a crazy dog lady who is very tolerant of dogs and their mistakes - if your dog nicked my sandwich I'd be apoplectic with rage and give you an earful of abuse. Keep it on a lead and no-one can argue with you.

I think I've certainly become more aware of the harm (intentional or otherwise) that dogs can do to small children - which is generally why I'm not particularly thrilled when a big dog come bounding up to them, leaping around and barking whilst the owner flaps about calling the dog who ignores them completely and trilling "he won't hurt you, he's just being friendly".

I'm happy to be tolerant and respectful of other people, as long as they behave the same way in return. Walking a dog off the lease when the signs say otherwise, letting my dog scare a child (or adult, doesn't really matter) and not having it well enough trained that it doesn't return to me immediately is not being respectful or tolerant of other people.

leash even - although you may also have it on lease

I think you're back pedalling a little flatbread.
I think most of us agree that its a GOOD thing to teach our children to be resilient and to learn to compromise and be able to cope when things aren't exactly how they want them to be etc

But I still don't see how this is relevant to EVER thinking it's 'not a big 'deal' for a dog to take food from other people who are eating it. Its just not ok!!

If I am having a quiet snack in the park, or I was picnicking with the family when they were a
Small, I would never dream of imposing myself on someone elses personal space. I also wouldn't mind in the slightest if there were unleashed dogs around which were under control and not invading my space. But a dog which runs up and grabs food is very clearly invading other peoples space, and it's not some little jokey anecdote which everyone else should be expected to laugh off.

I agree with you, callmemrs, that dogs or anyone else, for that matter, should not nick food. All I am saying is what is the appropriate reaction if that does happen? And if kids are around, what lessons are we teaching them from that encounter?

We can't control our environment, we can just control our response to it. We can either be gracious about things which seem an honest mistake, or hoist our judgey pants up and create a fuss.

I think the appropriate reaction is to not flap or shout or scream which would be counter productive and upset any children if they're there. But I think it would be highly appropriate to make it very firmly quite clear that the dog should be kept under control.

For someone who is trying to claim to be very considerate of others, even to the extent of apologising over things which aren't your fault, you seem very quick to judge those who might just want to relax and enjoy their own personal space. Your reference to 'judgey pants' shows precisely what you really think. You might apologise profusely on the surface but underneath you're actually judging those who just want to be left alone to enjoy their picnic!

"We can't control our environment"

I presume from this you are passing the responsibility for control onto the people at the receiving end, rather than refering to the person with the dog who patently can control their environment by a)keeping their dog on a lead where the signs say so, b)training their dog appropriately to ensure that it comes immediately to heel and c)keeping their dog on the lead until such time as this training as been completed.

Just so I'm clear.

If you leave it up to the people on the receiving end, then the response may be more than 'making a fuss' and you may not like it.
I have a strong memory of being jumped on and pinned down by an angry dog that came out of nowhere. But I was walking with my dad. So his response was quite decisive.

How many people on here are saying they hate all dogs? Did I miss something

I certainly don't hate dogs.
I'm wary of them.

Stewie - you used to have to have a licence to own a dog in the UK. I'm not sure when or why it was done away with, but it seems like common sense to me.