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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

this Mum is out of order

48 replies

Belini · 22/10/2011 23:11

One of DS(6) friend came round for him today he lives five doors away and his Mum allows him to play out by himself. I said he could come in and play as my DS aready had a friend in (her mum was also here) and isn't allowed to play in the street unsupervised.
Whilst I was having coffee in the kitchen this boy proceeds to jump over my furniture and hit & push my youngest DS(4) as told to me by DS and his other friend.

I am of the opinion that if I didn't actually see hitting with my own eyes then I issue the following warning "everyone keeps their hands to themselves or X & X will go home and nobody will be playing" I shouted this from the kitchen to which my DSs said the usual yeees muuum.

A few minutes later DS friend leaves the house slamming the door then I get a phone call from his Mum wanting to know who the hell I am thinking I can shout at her son. I explained what happened and thought that would be the end of it but she is still txting me saying things like. "yes he shouldn't have jumped on the couch but he is only a bairn" and "if my youngest is going to pinch he has to expect X to hit him back" (Both my boy and other friend said youngest DS did not pinch.) I have replied saying that "in future maybe he shouldn't come along to my house unaccompanied" to which she has said "don't start getting effing smart".

AIBU to think
a) he shouldn't be out by himself at 6
b) i have every right to issue said warning
c) she is being out of order
Sorry little bit long

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 22/10/2011 23:13

I think that's a friendship I'd definitely discourage!

frumpet · 22/10/2011 23:14

'My house ,my rules ' is what i says to the bairns as i unlock the cellar door to let them go home Grin

faverolles · 22/10/2011 23:15

Don't text or ring the mother any more, let it rest, then next time he comes round to your house, tell him it's not a good time right now. Repeat the last bit until it sinks in.
YANBU, but I don't think it's worth a battle.

Childcarewoes · 22/10/2011 23:15

I agree with ajandjjmum! His mum shouldn't allow him to play out by himself ffs he's only six.

issey6cats · 22/10/2011 23:15

A no he shouldnt be out by hiself at 6 yrs old even though it is only a few doors down
B your house your rules i would have told him off aswell
C his mom obviously thinks her precious darling does no wrong she is out of order to call you names

worraliberty · 22/10/2011 23:16

There's nothing wrong with a 6yr old playing in his own street...infact if a few more kids were allowed to play out, there wouldn't be half the obesity problem there is now imo (area allowing of course)

Apart from that, YANBU at all.

I also do the 'general warning' even if I suspect exactly who's to blame. It's the best thing to do if you didn't actually see.

The Mum's not doing her DS any favours at all.

LeBOOOf · 22/10/2011 23:18

I don't think 6 is too young to play put, necessarily- it depends where you live. But those kind of text messages just scream Jeremy Kyle to me, and I would avoid the family in future.

pigletmania · 22/10/2011 23:18

YANBU, another little Prince who can do no wrong. I agree, your house your rules!

BluddyMoFo · 22/10/2011 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 22/10/2011 23:19

I would not have him round tbh, and discourage the friendship, mum sounds like trouble.

AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 23:19

She sounds to be taking it all a bit to heart.

'Just' being 6 isn't an excuse for your DC to jump on other peoples furniture without being asked/told to stop!

And 'don't start getting effing smart' sounds a bit threatening to me, what's she going to do if you don't bow down and apologise for not letting her DS jump on your couch?

You had every right to say something if she's not there.

Is she being shitty because she knows you're right but doesn't like to admit it?

squeakyfreakytoy · 22/10/2011 23:20

I dont see anything at all wrong with a 6yo being allowed to play out on their own. The mother sounds like Jeremy Kyle fodder though.

Original poster
Belini · 22/10/2011 23:20

YY to my house my rules especially when their parents aren't here to keep them in line. I am very fair and would never assume my DSs are angels but they all gave the same story.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 23:21

''My house ,my rules ' is what i says to the bairns as i unlock the cellar door to let them go home'

That's the spirit frumpet Grin

Give 'em something to complain about.

ouryve · 22/10/2011 23:23

Your house, your rules and she should respect that. 6 is not too young for a child to learn some reasonable boundaries (actually, IMHO, no age is too young). If she wants her son to grow up spoilt and undisciplined, then she can have him do it somewhere other than your house.

(And I say this as a mum of 2 very spirited boys with ASD - I still expect them to try to behave themselves, wherever they are.)

MrBloomsNursery · 22/10/2011 23:24

Her DS's concocted a lovely story about how you shouted at him and he probably got scared and ran home to his Mum.

Why is a 6 year old out and about at 6pm when it's getting darker now? Confused

Don't reply to the Mum.

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 22/10/2011 23:27

Depends on location. I could let a 6yo out to play unsupervised but my cousin grew up on a busy road where it wouldn't have been safe.

YANBU I wouldn't have him in the house again.

pigletmania · 22/10/2011 23:29

If the boy comes round again, make excuses that you are busy and send tell him to go back home, would be very reluctant to have him round

Original poster
Belini · 22/10/2011 23:29

bluddyMoFo are you my friend cause thats exactly what she said. Grin
She says she doesn't keep her DS in like a caged animal. just lets him run the streets like a hooligan with boys of 8 & 9
My boys do get out to play in our quite big garden alone or up and down pavement on their bikes whilst supervised but DS (6) is not street wise enough to be left unsupervised.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 22/10/2011 23:34

I'm a bit scared of BMF after her post.

I wouldn't bloody cross her.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 22/10/2011 23:36

Oh well, you know who not to invite in to play again don't you. Silver lining and all that.

worraliberty · 22/10/2011 23:48

But just because your own 6yr old isn't streetwise, doesn't mean you should judge all parents who allow their 6yr old's to play out in the street.

Kids have played out since time began and as long as the child in question is ok to do so, it shouldn't be up for judgement imo.

For the record, mine didn't play out alone at that age either but that's because of the area I live in.

MrBloomsNursery · 22/10/2011 23:50

But its dark outside at 6pm. Isn't that a bit dangerous? In the summer it wouldn't be a problem. Why is a mother letting her 6 year old out in the dark?

worraliberty · 22/10/2011 23:52

The dark is a different thing altogether and I agree a six year old should be in before dark but point a) in the OP doesn't mention that.

BluddyMoFo · 22/10/2011 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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