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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

this Mum is out of order

48 replies

Belini · 22/10/2011 23:11

One of DS(6) friend came round for him today he lives five doors away and his Mum allows him to play out by himself. I said he could come in and play as my DS aready had a friend in (her mum was also here) and isn't allowed to play in the street unsupervised.
Whilst I was having coffee in the kitchen this boy proceeds to jump over my furniture and hit & push my youngest DS(4) as told to me by DS and his other friend.

I am of the opinion that if I didn't actually see hitting with my own eyes then I issue the following warning "everyone keeps their hands to themselves or X & X will go home and nobody will be playing" I shouted this from the kitchen to which my DSs said the usual yeees muuum.

A few minutes later DS friend leaves the house slamming the door then I get a phone call from his Mum wanting to know who the hell I am thinking I can shout at her son. I explained what happened and thought that would be the end of it but she is still txting me saying things like. "yes he shouldn't have jumped on the couch but he is only a bairn" and "if my youngest is going to pinch he has to expect X to hit him back" (Both my boy and other friend said youngest DS did not pinch.) I have replied saying that "in future maybe he shouldn't come along to my house unaccompanied" to which she has said "don't start getting effing smart".

AIBU to think
a) he shouldn't be out by himself at 6
b) i have every right to issue said warning
c) she is being out of order
Sorry little bit long

OP posts:

ionysis · 23/10/2011 07:04

Agree with everyone else. Not the kind of family I'd want as "friends". Your door should be shut from now on.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 23/10/2011 07:39

She sounds rough as

philmassive · 23/10/2011 07:44

At least you know which mum and kids to avoid in future

bonkers20 · 23/10/2011 07:52

I'm afraid I would not be able to control myself. I would be round there having it out with the Mum!

Georgimama · 23/10/2011 07:56

She sounds ghastly. Texting in dialect is a big red flag to me. Don't allow her child in to play in future. Avoid her.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 23/10/2011 07:58

back away.

Seriously.

She sounds a right one. And that last one - don't get effing smart - that sounded like the sort of thing that could end in her coming round and smacking you in the gob!

I really really think you should have nothing more to do with her, carry on being involved with people like that and they turn on you in the end.

AuntiePickleBottom · 23/10/2011 08:04

what wrong with a 6 year old playing in the dark.
up my mums house is when the DC get the tourches out. we know where the dc are as the tourches give them away :)

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 23/10/2011 08:30

I would be tempted to text 'you wouldn't know what smart was if it bit you on the arse' but of course would not lower myself to her level! (Maybe)

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 23/10/2011 08:38

I forgot to add the 'hen' or 'pal' at the end

TandB · 23/10/2011 08:47

I would send a final text saying 'you don't like my rules. I'm not willing to change them. This is easily resolved - he doesn't come round again.'

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 08:52

I certainly would not let a 6 year old play out in the dark tbh, its not like it was back in the day, and even then we had to be in for tea before dark.

duckdodgers · 23/10/2011 09:34

Theres nothing in the original post that says it was after 6 or dark though!

Of course YANBU regarding her behviour and her way of dealing with her DSs behaviour, but there is nothing wrong with children being out playing alone at 6 (of course it depends on the area and street though doesn't it). I think OP is coming across as rather judgey because this boy is allowed out.

My DS is 9 and has been playing outside with friends for a few years now, hes not been ran over or kidnapped by a paedophile yet. Plus he has great experiences and memories of all the things children get up to outside, running around the local area and park etc. Im glad he is getting this chance. But of course I wouldnt let him out at 6 in the pitch dark.

pigletmania · 23/10/2011 10:41

In the dark is a different matter, even adults have to be aware and cautious.

Wooooooooooooooppity · 23/10/2011 10:44

She sounds like a yobbo.

I wouldn't communicate with her again and I wouldn't let her child into my house again. Too much like hard work.

ragged · 23/10/2011 10:47

Sadly what Wooopity said, though open to review about letting him back in the door as he gets older.

FrightNight · 23/10/2011 10:51

A) her kid, her rules
B) your house, your rules
C) re the texts, yes. Totally toxic, ditch her and the kid ASAP.

bilblio · 23/10/2011 11:05

Our neighbour's daughter comes to play a lot. I totally agree with the "my house, my rules." Neighbours daughter is 5, they aren't allowed to play in the street, too busy a road, but she comes round on her own. My neighbour knows they get told off sometimes, but equally if DD was being naughty at her house I'd be fine with her being told off.

Children need to learn to respect other peoples rules.

I'd be discouraging the friendship. telling them they can't come round to play today... until they take the hint. we had to do this a couple of summers ago with some other neighbours. It didn't take long for them to realise they weren't welcome.

diddl · 23/10/2011 11:32

She sounds horrible & unfortunately the boy might be taking after her.

I´d ignore her & wouldn´t let the children play together anymore.

No more free childcare-that´ll learn teach her.

ReindeerBollocks · 23/10/2011 11:35

She sounds just lovely, invite her round for tea and discuss how you both do so well at raising your delightful children.

No, obviously not. Just avoid her and her brat. Stop responding to here texts too, as you will never win (despite being right!). General warnings are always used when we didn't see the incident and I've never had any trouble with that.

CailinDana · 23/10/2011 11:38

Ha she's done herself a huge disservice there as she's just cut off one house that she can fob her son off to.

Slacking9to5 · 23/10/2011 11:47

Do you live in a rough area? If so then I can understand why you won;t allow your 6 year old out.

However, I don't so I do and don;t appreciate neurotic overprotective mothers telling me I'm unreasonable.

Slacking9to5 · 23/10/2011 11:48

Oh, and of course your 6 year old isn't streetwise. you don't let him out!

HalfTermHero · 23/10/2011 12:59

YANBU. Have nothing further to do with the woman, she sounds like a total chav. Avoid.

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