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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that I'm not putting my dd in danger

102 replies

itsallgravy · 22/10/2011 21:51

Arranged to go shopping with a newly pregnant friend today. Pregnant with her pfb.

She drove to my house so we could travel together in my car.

I am now feeling really pissed off with her comments about dd car seat position and want your opinions on if I really am 'putting her at risk' or if she is just talking out of her arse!

Dd car seat is behind my drivers seat in the back. Simply because the position that it has to be parked on the drive means the other back door on the passenger side opens right onto a brick walk and frankly it would be a pain in the arse mucking around squeezing through the gap. Never really given it any thought tbh, just naturally always fitted seat behind mine.

My friend seemed shocked that I didn't know the apparent safety risks of doing this. According to her most collisions impact on the divers side of the car and I'm putting my dd in grave danger....!

Is she right?! Do I need to put down this glass of wine right away and go outside and refit the car seat ASAP just incase we may have an emergency in the night and need to rush out in the car (!)

OP posts:
purplewerepidj · 22/10/2011 21:54

I have no idea on the safety or otherwise of where a car seat is in your car, but your friend is most likely wrapped up in that smug bubble of "I'm the first person on the planet ever to do something so spectacularly amazing as get pregnant, therefore I am the expert on every minute detail of parenting" thing and will, in a few months, be down on her knees begging you for your expert opinion Wink

MangoMonster · 22/10/2011 21:55

I thought it was supposed to be on the passenger side at the back, can't remember why now, but that's where we have it and where halfords fitted it.

badoomtish · 22/10/2011 21:57

She's right - the youngest passenger should travel in the rear on the passenger side, as it's statistically safest.

She's probably also spending every spare minute reading Bounty forums and ironing muslins, so cut her some slack Grin

OchAyeTheNooPal · 22/10/2011 21:58

what do you do if you have two DC then?

manticlimactic · 22/10/2011 21:58

But what if you have two children and two car seats?

I think Halfords fit it on the near side because that's the side nearest the path when you park.

OneDove · 22/10/2011 21:58

So what happens if you have two children? One has to go behind the drivers seat? Do you develop a rota system? Sounds a bit precious to me.
I really don't think your DD is in danger!

mousyfledermaus · 22/10/2011 21:59

ideally the seat is in the middle of the back row. wold that work for you?
next best position is behind the passenger seat.

MrsT30 · 22/10/2011 21:59

But what about when you have two children? Do you have to decide which one you want to be safest?

Beamur · 22/10/2011 22:00

The preferred spot is behind the passenger seat.
However, what if you have more than one child?
She is kind of right, but in reality many people will use some/both/all the back seats so it's just a fact of life. It doesn't make you neglectful etc.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 22/10/2011 22:00

Also would depend on what car you have ..... If it is a smart car then forget it, the outcome wont be good regardless of wher the car seat is, but if it is a range rover then chances are not so bad.

worraliberty · 22/10/2011 22:00

If you have two then there's nothing you can do about it.

If you have one, then there obviously is something you can do.

I think that's probably what the OP's friend is pointing out.

NickNacks · 22/10/2011 22:01

badoomtish Actually the safest place is rear centre which is where I have my youngest.

Andrewofgg · 22/10/2011 22:01

Good heavens purple women never do that . . . just as no man ever thinks he's the first to have achieved his part in perpetuating our species.

And pigs fly . . . :)

GreyRosesAreMyFavourite · 22/10/2011 22:01

What on earth are either of you going to do when/if you have more children? They can't all sit in the "safest" seat! Grin

Fwiw, yes the seat behind the passenger seat is supposedly slightly safer but frankly driving a nice sturdy car with good safety features and not a 10+ year old beat up old thing is probably going to make much more difference.

And when you have two or more children, you stick the littlest one where it's easiest to get them in and out of.

NickNacks · 22/10/2011 22:01

X post with mousy

4madboys · 22/10/2011 22:02

yes statistically the back behind the passenger seat is the 'safest' but yes what do you do once you have more than one child?!! do you have a rota so that they all get 'equal' turns at being in the 'safe' seat?!! Confused

if its a pita to have her in the back passenger side then its perfectly fine and logical to have her carseat where you can easily get her in and out, if you would struggle then you might even risk not doing the straps up as tight etc and then therefore it would be less safe?

def in pfb pregnant perfection mode!

badoomtish · 22/10/2011 22:02

Sorry, you're right - I was speaking as someone with two carseats Blush

CBear6 · 22/10/2011 22:03

If you are then I'm putting DS in danger as his carseat in my mam's car is behind the driver seat. This has always been a practical arrangement because he likes to see one of us when we're driving along, sitting him there means whoever is in the passenger seat can turn their head and talk to him.

It's one of those situations where there's safe and then there's safest. Having a child travel in the correct type of carseat for their age/weight is safe, having it in a certain seat of the car is safest, the best seat is the middle rear but not all cars can fit a carseat in that position (I know my mam's can't as the belt isn't long enough). So long as she's in a correctly fitted carseat in the rear of the car then she's safe.

spookshowangellovesit · 22/10/2011 22:03

apparently put the youngest on the passenger side and pray that the oldest will take the hit better. gah op some people will always delight in thinking they know best, when they are pregnant and when they have their child and beyond. nod smile and move on. let them get on with it their way and worry about what every they want to fret over in their spare time you just enjoy your life/wine worry free or at least with less worry because statistical possibilities don't bother you. you would rather live in the real world.

Original poster
itsallgravy · 22/10/2011 22:04

Ok so in that case why is this not published more?!

Is this info only available on bounty?Grin or was I lax in my research? I have never heard of this before. It doesn't seem to be very widely advertised. John Lewis certainly didn't tell us this when we walked out with the car seat.

And yes she is very much displaying smug pfb syndrome already. I bit my tongue earlier when she was telling me about the 20 quid travel dummy steriliser she brought this week should her baby ever drop it's dummy on the floor...

OP posts:
NickNacks · 22/10/2011 22:04

And I guess it depends what car you have. I have three car seats in the middle row of my Galaxy plus two boosters in the rear.

4madboys · 22/10/2011 22:04

ah is the middle seat the safest then, i was always told is was passenger back seat. hmm it tends to be rather random who gets the middle seat in our car, generally ds1 tho as he is old enough to entertain the little two either side of him, how he loves that Grin

pengymum · 22/10/2011 22:06

I thought that you put the car seat behind rear passenger seat was because you could see your child and they could see you?

4madboys · 22/10/2011 22:06

itsallgravy ha ha i have seen those dummy sterilisers, they sterilise with uv or something it looked a right bloody faff and totally pointless. i just use avent dummies that have a little cap on them and have a bunch in my bag so if one gets dirty or lost my dd can have another one, tbh tho now she is older i have it on a clip thingy and she has it attached to what she is wearing so she can put it in and out herself when in the car etc, it prob gets dragged along the floor when she is crawling... ooops Blush she seems to be surving tho, so must be doing something right Grin

Bohica · 22/10/2011 22:07

Well I have 3 children so do I just decide who has got on my nerves the most that week and then sit that one behind the driver then?

Our youngest sits in her high back booster in the middle but only to stop the older 2 complaining that one or the other is squashing them, breathing on them, humming near them, looking at them etc.