To think that I'm not putting my dd in danger

[itsallgravy]

Arranged to go shopping with a newly pregnant friend today. Pregnant with her pfb.

She drove to my house so we could travel together in my car.

I am now feeling really pissed off with her comments about dd car seat position and want your opinions on if I really am 'putting her at risk' or if she is just talking out of her arse!

Dd car seat is behind my drivers seat in the back. Simply because the position that it has to be parked on the drive means the other back door on the passenger side opens right onto a brick walk and frankly it would be a pain in the arse mucking around squeezing through the gap. Never really given it any thought tbh, just naturally always fitted seat behind mine.

My friend seemed shocked that I didn't know the apparent safety risks of doing this. According to her most collisions impact on the divers side of the car and I'm putting my dd in grave danger....!

Is she right?! Do I need to put down this glass of wine right away and go outside and refit the car seat ASAP just incase we may have an emergency in the night and need to rush out in the car (!)

Why is the younger child more valuable than an older one?

I suppose older children argue back more?

Isn't that dangerous, putting the youngest in the middle?

Just goes to show how different places have different advice.

I am amazed that any of us are alive today with all the 'you must do this or you are putting your child in danger' rules.

I played outside and everything as a child, alone, and in the dirt!!
My evil neglectful parents should be charged immediately clearly.

I even went on many a shop trip with a note saying 'please can my mum have 20 lambert' and was never refused.

I think OP's friend needs to get things into perspective. For example, THIS is putting a child in GRAVE danger:

click

or this:

Having a child secured in a carseat, which has side impact protection, is not putting them in grave danger!!

I was shocked when I heard what seat was considered safest here.

But, I can see why, I guess? in the middle they are not likely to get wedged behind the front seat.

Maybe statistically that has always been worse on impact?

I have 3 children, my youngest son sits behind the front passenger, my eldest rides in the front (13)

Mrbloom - You stealing pics of my profile??

Sorry sacrelao!! Had to show the world how irresponsible you are!! Putting your child in GRAAAVEE danger!

Nah, she's got a seatbelt on hasn't she?
What more do you want?

The older one is in the boot :o

"And yes she is very much displaying smug pfb syndrome already. I bit my tongue earlier when she was telling me about the 20 quid travel dummy steriliser she brought this week should her baby ever drop it's dummy on the floor..."

OMG.

I tend to try to build the immune system by encouraging picking up and sucking random things from the floor. The favourite right now is the rubber dogs bone which apparently makes the perfect teething toy for 11 month old DD.

Child is suppose to be in centre of back seat... if not able, then behind passenger. But then when you have two, one of them has to be behind the driver, so...

"dummies are recomended now to help reduce sids apparently!"

Please can I see a recent citation to support this.

She's got it the wrong way around. Most impacts happen on the passenger side, which is why it is called the 'Death Seat'. Or the 'Ladies Seat' as my DS calls it

Happy to oblige:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16339767

They found a 90% reduction in SIDS in babies that used pacifiers, though obviously it's preliminary work.

For car seats: if your child is in a good car seat which is correctly attached and you drive carefully then your child is already safe. Putting them on one side or the other might make a very small difference in an already minimal risk, but that is not "dangerous". And all these stats have to be nuaced by individual circumstances: our car seat used to be on the driver's side for safety reasons. If our daughter couldn't see me in the passenger's side she used to scream, which was a little difficult for the driver's concentration.

we have DS behind the driver, and thank god we do! as idiot 1st time parents, we didn't put the child locks on the door when we moved DS to his forward facing seat. I was driving along the motorway with him in the back one day, and heard the door open - he had not only managed to wriggle out of his car seat straps, but also open the door for the 1st time ever. In the middle lane. At 70 mph. Had he not been directly behind me, I wouldn't have been able to reach round, yank the door shut and veer wildly drive over to the hard shoulder - instead, I imagine the door would have flung open, and we'd have caused a pile up.

So although we have child locks on now, and have the car seat straps so tight he can barely breathe, he is staying behind me for now...

Also, like others on this thread, our car parking space only allows us to open one side of the car, so if he was behind the passenger, we'd never get him out. which may not be the worst thing in the world sometimes...

Interesting thought. My DD (the oldest) is on the passenger side and has no child lock so in the event of an accident she could get her and the younger two out onto the pavement. The youngest (and the only one in a car seat) is behind me, the theory being that they have the most protection from a side impact.
Would it be safer to put DD in the front and move the youngest to the passenger side?

You're all wrong. One car = one adult + one child. This is why we will be inviting a third adult in to our relationship for child number three. I am thinking Derek Morgan from criminal minds. We will travel in convoy.

I have three DC's in Car seats - DS1 on a booster, DS2 and DD still in toddler seats.

Where should I position them?

Gravy, just smile sweetl;y af her then laugh your head off later. And of course don't forget to remind her of all her PFB comments in a few years time.

I heard behind the driver's seat was best because the driver naturally swerves away from danger, clobbering the passenger in the process.

Considering we were allowed to play and sleep in the boot of my dad's estate car, I think worrying about seat positions in nice, safe modern cars with harnesses, belts, air bags etc is really splitting hairs.

Psammead, I really cannot abide that line of thinking.

My mum fondly remembers me bouncing around under the passenger seat as a baby, after she'd had to do an emergency stop when I was in a carrycot on the back seat.

Modern cars are faster, and there are more of them. That aside, we have much better means of protecting our children now, why on earth wouldn't we take information which may help them anything less than seriously?

I have DD on the passenger side mostly to be handy for the pavement when we park up but also so I can see her better.
I'm sure I read (a long time ago mind) that the opposite side of the driver is statistically more dangerous as the driver just can't help their instinct to protect themselves and swerve the driver's side away from impact as much as possible.