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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that I'm not putting my dd in danger

102 replies

itsallgravy · 22/10/2011 21:51

Arranged to go shopping with a newly pregnant friend today. Pregnant with her pfb.

She drove to my house so we could travel together in my car.

I am now feeling really pissed off with her comments about dd car seat position and want your opinions on if I really am 'putting her at risk' or if she is just talking out of her arse!

Dd car seat is behind my drivers seat in the back. Simply because the position that it has to be parked on the drive means the other back door on the passenger side opens right onto a brick walk and frankly it would be a pain in the arse mucking around squeezing through the gap. Never really given it any thought tbh, just naturally always fitted seat behind mine.

My friend seemed shocked that I didn't know the apparent safety risks of doing this. According to her most collisions impact on the divers side of the car and I'm putting my dd in grave danger....!

Is she right?! Do I need to put down this glass of wine right away and go outside and refit the car seat ASAP just incase we may have an emergency in the night and need to rush out in the car (!)

OP posts:

cherrysodalover · 22/10/2011 22:09

Well we have been told behind the driver,s seat is safest ....in the states that is so we moved it from middle to behind driver seat.

Secondtimelucky · 22/10/2011 22:12

Well, my DD1 sat on the driver side. I can see that passenger side might be slightly safer, but this would be negated by having to be unloaded onto the road instead of the pavement because of where we park the car- and many a day our road is like the wacky races.

Snurk at the idea of putting the child who annoys you most that day behind the driver.

pantaloons · 22/10/2011 22:12

We also have 3 and they are arranged so I can get my hand in to do the youngests belt. However, I was told to put our eldest in the middle at the rear when she was our pfb!

Kellamity · 22/10/2011 22:12

Actually you are all wrong and statistically the safest thing to do is not to get in the car at all! What were you thinking?

What do you do when you have 3 DCs (as I have) - I think I will choose their seats in order of preference, might change day by day depending on their behaviour

Drink your wine and then.......refill it and have another one!

herbietea · 22/10/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Andrewofgg · 22/10/2011 22:14

itsallgravy That's priceless. I hope you are there when the little darling begins crawling and gets thoroughly and happily filthy somewhere!

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 22/10/2011 22:16

i have 3 dc.cant decide who to put in the 'safe seat'?put one in the boot.

SweatTart · 22/10/2011 22:18

where child seat should be installed

Thanks for this question, I've been putting mine in the wrong seat!

LikeABlackFlameCandleBNQ · 22/10/2011 22:20

Gosh, she'd implode getting in my car, car seat in front passenger seat (no airbag) as it just doesnt fit the belt in the back!

bonkers20 · 22/10/2011 22:22

Oh piffle. You should have told her that statistically it was safer for her to get the bus than get in a car, then given her the bus fare!

Oh and statistically it's better for her pfb not to have a dummy.

If she's going to carry on like this you'll need to find a way to tell her that we all find what works for us, that we have to make informed decisions.

jennypenney · 22/10/2011 22:24

You are a grown-up. It is your car, your child, your car seat, you can put them in whichever seat you like.

("These are your gowns, Maria, and your trunk! You can pack them any way you like - Lady Catherine will never know!")

4madboys · 22/10/2011 22:29

dummies are recomended now to help reduce sids apparently!

i never used one for the first four, but no 5, well she is being dragged up, standards or parenting slipping

frumpet · 22/10/2011 22:47

Right im not getting in the car again unless i can drive from the rear passenger seat ,who bloody designs a car with a safest seat ,tut !

TartyMcFarty · 22/10/2011 22:49

I read Bounty forums and ironed muslins (really!) before DD was born!

Maryz · 22/10/2011 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenBlueRed · 22/10/2011 22:55

Mine are allocated their seats because the oldest drives me nuts as he has the longest legs that can kick my seat while I'm driving, so he goes behind the passenger seat. I also have long legs so need my seat quite far back, and ds2 doesn't need much legroom, so goes behind me. Dc3 is due, not sure what'll happen then, new car perhaps?

SacreLao · 22/10/2011 23:07

It is 'slightly' safer to put the car seat on the passenger side but stats mean nothing really.

You could move the car seat and then get hit on the passenger side, there is no way of knowing that.

And unless you are letting your child roll around in the back of the car or in the case of a recent news story, let your child drive whilst you are drunk, then you ARE NOT putting your child in grave danger!

What happens if you have twins? Do you pick the one you like the most to go on the passenger side?

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 22/10/2011 23:14

Oh dear - it's going to be a looooooooooooooooong few years months isn't it :( I think you might have to be very busy, very busy indeed...

MrBloomsNursery · 22/10/2011 23:18

We've ALWAYS had DD behind the passenger seat because it just made sense...I can always look back and see what she is doing when I'm driving aswell. I've never heard that one side is riskier than others.

I remember when there was no such thing as car seats, or seat belt rules...Man those were the days!!

SacreLao · 22/10/2011 23:22

Mrbloom - I remember being a child and made to squash down on the floor of the front passenger seat as my parents had more children then seats in the car.

And I remember riding in the back of my dad's work van where we DID roll around un-suported as there wasn't even seats.

Yet we all managed to survive.

MrBloomsNursery · 22/10/2011 23:28

Sacre - That's what we used to do too!!! Hahaha! I was the unlucky one being passed around the car during a journey!

I also remember sitting in the boot of my Mum's friends red volvo estate...I can't even imagine doing these things now...our parent's obviously didn't care about our well-being in a car back then!!

Maryz · 22/10/2011 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debs75 · 22/10/2011 23:31

Well I had dd next to me in the front as that was the only place her seat would go. She has then been behind me and recently behind the passenger seat. DD3 is now behind me until she outgrows her 0stage seat, she wuill then go behind the passenger seat as the stage 1 seat will only fit there. DD2 will go in the middle. Unless she reaches forward and takes my handbrake off again almost killing dd3, she'll be in the boot then.

I was once told that the safest seat is the drivers as th\t is the seat which always has a person in it so they make it safer, no good for child seats

SacreLao · 22/10/2011 23:34

That's the solution then Debs - teach the child to drive and sit them in the driver's seat! After all it's the safest so anything else would be neglect surely?

Feminine · 22/10/2011 23:34

My Dad used to sit me in the front seat ...on his brief -case

because (of course) I needed to see out!

Here , we are all advised to put the youngest in the middle, thats where my 2 year old sits.

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