To put baby in nursery?

[SacreLao]

I am currently expecting baby number 3 :o

I have 2 children that are older (9 and 7 year old) so it's been a long time since I have done the baby stage, my son is severely disabled and bloody hard work at times. This is OH's first baby.

Anyway my 2 older children visit their father for 2 days a week, including overnight, so both me and OH are used to having child free days weekly and we both enjoy it. Perfect time for bonding, catching up on housework, shopping etc.

As much as we both want this new baby and will love it very much, I must admit I will miss having my child free days.

I am considering booking the baby into a nursery for one full day a week (once over 4 months) on one of our current child free days thus giving us one day a week for our bonding / being lazy etc. time.

We can afford this so finances are not an issue but is it cruel to put a baby in nursery when I am at home? The day will be OH's day off so actually we will both be at home.

I see it as no different to having a friend / family member taking baby out for a while to give us a rest, except we have no-one able to do that close by. I really feel that we will struggle without this weekly break as my son can be exhausting at times and a new baby will add to that.

So AIBU?

Won't your husband want his time off work to bond with the baby rather than it being in nursery. Most parents don't get a childfree day a week when they decide to have children you know.

Ben10 - Thank you I will look into Home Start :)

Redhelen - I have a female partner, no husband present.
I refuse to believe that MOST parents get no child-free time at all, does granny / auntie etc. never have the baby for a while? Never use babysitters?

SacreLao I agree that most parents get child-free time. Yesterday I got 2 hours to myself by having DH look after DD while I ran some errands. It made a huge difference and I can now cope with DD on my own while DH is down in Dallas for the next 2-3 days.

I also think that it is no cooincidence that divorce rates peak in the three years following the arrival of a child. DH and I have family 3000 miles away and our next date night will be in December. I think it takes a certain confidence to make decision when it comes to childcare. It is never easy and I can't imagine how exhausted you must be after caring for 3 children, one with special needs. I am exhausted with one.

Go for it. Everyone needs a break from childcare and it's good for you as a couple to get some time together alone. I was abroad when my first child was 3 mths and had a nanny for 3 mornings a week so I could do my own thing. My daughter was asleep for 1/2 the time and it saved my sanity.

Plenty of people are back at work after 3 mths and will see far less of their children and no-one would give them a hard tome. It seems, however, if you choose to have some time to yourself, you'll get grief from some quarters. Jealousy, perhaps? A 'mother=martydom' approach to life? Who cares. Do what suits your family.

For what it's worth, my daughter was a very happy-go-lucky, sociable baby and I'm sure part of that was that she was used to other people...

Why don't people read a thread before posting on it? Even just reading the Op's posts would be a start. I find it really weird that people think 'Oh there's a hundred posts already, but my opinion, based soley on the OP - is so worthy I must post it' weird, very weird.