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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my 5yr old shouldn't be pushed around by teaching staff

410 replies

youcantparkthatthere · 21/10/2011 10:50

Hi First post, this has been niggling away at me for a week now. I recently attended a ceremony and my sons school which was been held in the local church. He is in a class of perhaps 16 children. As I watched the children file in I became increasingly annoyed at how one of the teaching staff was manging the children. it was clearly the childrens first time at one of these events and they were understandably unsure of what to do. Some of the children were going into the pew in front of or behind the one the teacher wanted them to go in. However the teacher/TA's response to this was to repeatedly, and IMO, too roughly take hold of the children and physically direct them into their intended seats. We're not talking here about a guiding hand on their shoulders, more like two hands firmly on their shoulders abruptly turning them in the desired direction and pushing them into their intended place.
To me this is quite clearly using physical force to get a child to comply with instruction, as distinct from a reassuring physical guidance. In my line of work, social worker, this would be considered a breach of the children's act and consequently illegal. Similiarly if any of the staff I managed conducted themselves in this way, I would at the very least be forced to issue them with a formal warning.
I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, I believe children need very clear mangement and a sense of no meaning no, (along with yes meaning yes, i.e. keeping promises etc). The main thing that is getting to me is the fact that I'm sure the school would discourage the children behaving like this to one another, so the adults should be modelling this in their own behaviour.
I feel I need to speak to the headteacher but I'm worried this will either be blown out of proportion or minimised. I also dont want my son standing out in a small school as the child whose Dad interferes/overreacts.
Any thoughts. It pisses me of that people think they can negate childrens right to respect and civility just because their small.
In the spirit of fairness I should declare that I find the woman in question very cold and somewhat abrupt with the children, in stark contrast to the rest of the school team, (wholly unsuited to her job imho!)Sorry if too long.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 12:26

Op you're so earnest and worthy it hurts.do unclench.go buff your elbow patches and don't take yourself so seriously.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 21/10/2011 12:28

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses I think yours is my favourite Halloween name.

scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 12:29

I come onto mn for mirth not worthy rumination.bit of escapism and all that. And the sw jokes were old skool funny

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 21/10/2011 12:31

Thanks you muchly darlink

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 12:31

"I am clear what I witnessed was a misuse of physical intervention"

Even though what you witnessed may have been poor practice, it was not illegal.

BTW, I am a teacher who works for Social Services, so I am all kinds of scum Grin

CamperFan · 21/10/2011 12:35

Wow, thetenant, this is second post of yours today that I have liked (and it was potentially helpful to the OP, so you get a gold star).

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 21/10/2011 12:39

Wow, CamperFan thank you! I shall accept my gold star and wear it with pride, whilst sucking on my severed finger from Sue.

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy now Smile

scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 12:42

Right then you know the drill op
Factual account what you saw,dates,times,protagonists
Write to Ht,retain a copy
Link with named safeguarding lead at school

But really something in your posts does come across bit pompous,and assured.maybe not what you intended.but...

GalaxyWeaver · 21/10/2011 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StoneSoup · 21/10/2011 12:51

PFB gawn maaaaaaad

fedupofnamechanging · 21/10/2011 12:52

I was in church recently, watching my DC harvest festival. The teachers/TA's managed to get them in and out in an orderly fashion without grabbing at them. They had plenty of staff and helpers, had planned where everyone was going to sit and everything was very smooth in terms of getting dc where they needed to be. I saw staff holding children's hands, helping them with their coats and gently guiding them. If you saw something other than that, OP, then I think you need to raise it with the head.

I think that sometimes you can see something and it doesn't sit right with you, but it's hard to get it across to someone else without looking as if you are over reacting. I think that's what's happening here.

Some adults are nasty bullies who don't like children very much. Unfortunately some of these people work in schools. It's up to other adults to protect children from things that don't seem quite right.

OP, I have phoned my DC school when I have come across a member of staff who didn't behave 'kindly' for want of a better word towards my child. You don't need to quote legislation, but a gentle word will make the headteacher look discreetly and assess something that they might not have been aware of previously. If you are not happy with what you saw, then it is right to raise that as a concern. You don't give up parental responsibility the moment your kids cross the school threshold. It is always up to you to look out for them.

MissMunsterMogwi · 21/10/2011 12:58

I'm reading this thread on a packed thread and can't help laughing out loud Grin.

You're all nuts.Grin

And now the people on this train think I am too.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/10/2011 12:59

Did any children cry out in pain? Appear distressed? Yelp with indignation? Leave the floor bodily at any point? .... If not then 'roughly' is probably in the eye of the beholder.

TheGhostOfMrsWembley · 21/10/2011 13:14

Marking place. GrinGrin

Anymore jokes or hysterical lunacy? I've a poorly belly Sad and this thread is taking my mind off it.

Sorry OP, but I agree with those who've suggested that maybe you're a little too finely tuned for this sort of thing. Wait until he gets to secondary, you'll have a shock if you think adults are the problem!Biscuit

TheGhostOfMrsWembley · 21/10/2011 13:16

Oh god... 'Any more'

youcantparkthatthere · 21/10/2011 13:22

Stonesoup, he's my third. no doubt you'll come back with something equally witty if totally ignorant.
karmabeliever What you described in church is what i would have hoped for
At last some considered views for and against. Might think of a way forward over the weekend.

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 21/10/2011 13:27

This is clearly a case of serious child abuse and you need to call the police immediately Hmm

SpringHeeledJack · 21/10/2011 13:40

stop being mean about social workers

I like Tenant's description of 5 yo thought processes

and the Gadaffi joke

scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 13:49

Are you reading same thread no one mean about sw
It's the most affirmative I've seen in ages
Like the sw jokes btw

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 13:56

My sw jokes from my dad; a sw.

MrsVoltar · 21/10/2011 14:03

Great description TheTenant, and hilarious by snice about sheepdogs & tazer, nearly made me weep with laughter Grin

SpringHeeledJack · 21/10/2011 14:03

my dad humourless social worker

no sw jokes from him, hoh no

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 14:05

a humourless sw?

I don't believe it!

Wink
SpringHeeledJack · 21/10/2011 14:08

iirc he was always too busy guzzling codeine and rocking gently to and fro

scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 14:09

Ime,doctors,gp,sw,police,hcp have dark self depricating soh.nature of the job