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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my 5yr old shouldn't be pushed around by teaching staff

410 replies

youcantparkthatthere · 21/10/2011 10:50

Hi First post, this has been niggling away at me for a week now. I recently attended a ceremony and my sons school which was been held in the local church. He is in a class of perhaps 16 children. As I watched the children file in I became increasingly annoyed at how one of the teaching staff was manging the children. it was clearly the childrens first time at one of these events and they were understandably unsure of what to do. Some of the children were going into the pew in front of or behind the one the teacher wanted them to go in. However the teacher/TA's response to this was to repeatedly, and IMO, too roughly take hold of the children and physically direct them into their intended seats. We're not talking here about a guiding hand on their shoulders, more like two hands firmly on their shoulders abruptly turning them in the desired direction and pushing them into their intended place.
To me this is quite clearly using physical force to get a child to comply with instruction, as distinct from a reassuring physical guidance. In my line of work, social worker, this would be considered a breach of the children's act and consequently illegal. Similiarly if any of the staff I managed conducted themselves in this way, I would at the very least be forced to issue them with a formal warning.
I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, I believe children need very clear mangement and a sense of no meaning no, (along with yes meaning yes, i.e. keeping promises etc). The main thing that is getting to me is the fact that I'm sure the school would discourage the children behaving like this to one another, so the adults should be modelling this in their own behaviour.
I feel I need to speak to the headteacher but I'm worried this will either be blown out of proportion or minimised. I also dont want my son standing out in a small school as the child whose Dad interferes/overreacts.
Any thoughts. It pisses me of that people think they can negate childrens right to respect and civility just because their small.
In the spirit of fairness I should declare that I find the woman in question very cold and somewhat abrupt with the children, in stark contrast to the rest of the school team, (wholly unsuited to her job imho!)Sorry if too long.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/10/2011 12:02
FearTricksPotter · 21/10/2011 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot · 21/10/2011 12:03
TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 12:03

(I already did the punchline, FearTricks, look ^)

LeBOOOf · 21/10/2011 12:04

Two- one to change the bulb, the other to grab your kids.

Too far?

Hullygully · 21/10/2011 12:04

I demand more appreciation for the gaddafy joke

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 12:05

Hully.

  1. You messed it up (bin, not wind)
  1. It was recycled form Mother Teresa's timely demise

I'm truly sorry.

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 12:06

Where's the drinking parents thread?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/10/2011 12:06

I liked the Gadaffi joke. Confirms my theory that all major news events follow the same trajectory... Day 1 News story. Day 2 poor-taste jokes. Day 3 conspiracy theory!

FearTricksPotter · 21/10/2011 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 21/10/2011 12:07

sandal in the bin?

That is RUBBISH.

My version is much better.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 21/10/2011 12:13

You guys are the best - I luff you all Grin

I have been thinking, seriously hard, about a break from MN. Threads like this remind me why that would be A Very Bad Idea Grin

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 21/10/2011 12:14

Hully - I laughed Grin

ShirleyKnot · 21/10/2011 12:15

oh me too Chipping. And then I was on a thread yesterday about sex dreams and I laughed and laughed and fell in love with MN all over again.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 21/10/2011 12:17

Linky Link SK?? I need all the laughs I can get, just to shore up my MN love.

ShirleyKnot · 21/10/2011 12:20

For ChippingIn

There, tis a good one!

youcantparkthatthere · 21/10/2011 12:20

Is this what people mean when they refer to "flaming".
Look, I tried to put my first post in as balanced a way as I could. Differently worded I'm sure I could have generated a different respons. I probably didn't make clear the distinction between what I observed and what I would have hoped to. The women was very roughly pulling the children by their collars, arms etc and basically shoving the children back and forth according to her wishes and without reasonable justification. To all those with advice around how to manage groups of children, I have, and conitinue to do this on a regular basis. Ditto school trips etc... I agree with all of your views and comments, ( the helpful ones that is) I would have thought it would be a very straightforward matter of makoing sure an adult was at the head of the line of children and then directing them to the their seats, moving on to the next pew when full etc.
I am clear what I witnessed was a misuse of physical intervention, having been in childrens social work for twenty years I'm able to tell the difference. I didn't put my job to in to gain credibility, there is precious little, if anything it was to flag that I may well be more sensitive to these issues than most people. To the poster who suggests it's not cool, I would agree and Social work as a proffession hasn't helped itself. for the record I work as an independent who works with children who have been traumatised by sexual abuse, I'd like to make that cool but I'll leave it to those on here to package that, with the degree of Ill will that has been spat out it should take some of you no time at all.
In terms of the legislation around physical management of children, I am aware of that too- this incident was in breach of it.
What I had hoped for was someone who had experience of seeing their child mishandled by staff and how they dealt with it. My son wasn;t scarred for life, but he was mistreated and It needs adressing, I was hoping for advice on how to do that in such a way so as not to single out a staff memeber, whatever my view of her, or my son.
Hands up to the second post, I probably did come across to some as a bit of a nutter.
I'm up for a laugh and a bit of baiting, but some of these comments are really crappy and needless.
Anyway off to knit some yoghurt and try on my new fair trade matching sandals and elbow patches combo!

OP posts:
norrisghoulafterpm · 21/10/2011 12:20

This has also had me laughing very loudly

Hullygully · 21/10/2011 12:23

youcan't - don't be hurt. These threads tend to take on a life of their own - we are all so desperate for a laugh that we start enjoying ourselves and couldn't care less what the op was...

In rl I think pore ol social workers get a really bum deal and press and I also think that if you did see that, then yes, you should raise it as children shouldn't be physically shoved about.

LeBOOOf · 21/10/2011 12:23

Thanks for the laugh though. Sorely needed.

FearTricksPotter · 21/10/2011 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 21/10/2011 12:25

No, this isn't a flaming, you'd know if you had been flamed.

Enjoy your knitting.

... and if you don't want your name up on the board, let it go.

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 21/10/2011 12:25

Don't worry OP, I sort of got what you were saying.
Now, did you nick my waistcoat? I

ShirleyKnot · 21/10/2011 12:25

DING DING DING

SoupDragon · 21/10/2011 12:26

May I suggest a blank line between paragraphs?