To expect "nut free" school to actually be

[Booper13]

DS1 (who has a nut allergy - Epi pens etc) has started in reception this year, in a lovely school which we were assured was a nut free zone.
PTA had a cake sale this week and the flyers to ask parents to bake did NOT request/remind people to avoid nuts/nut products.
I raised this with a member of the PTA, requesting that it could perhaps be included in future. She said that she would mention it at the next meeting and that they may consider asking people to clearly label anything containing nuts. I said that would be great, but technically as school is "nut free zone" maybe nuts could just be avoided. She didn't seem to like this and said cake sale is "technically not the school". IMO as it is the parents & kids making/buying the cakes and is on the school premises, it IS the school.
Obviously I am aware that people may say that I just shouldn't allow DS to get anything from the cake sale, but I feel that he shouldn't have to miss out when the school professes to be nut free.
What do you think? Is it really that big a sacrafice for people to make things without nuts? There is another child in the school who also has a nut allergy.
Am IBU to pursue this?

YABU.

We regularly use nuts in our cooking. I could cook cakes that do not contain nuts, but I couldn't 100% claim that they were nut free. I doubt that we're unusual in that.

I would also question a school that claims to be "nut free". They may have asked that all lunchboxes etc do not contain nuts, but I think that you'd be surprised how many parents are not fully aware of products that do contain nuts and so send them unknowingly in with their dc. The PTA could add a request on their flyers, but they cannot possibly assess the cake donations for their "nut free-ness".

In this case, the onus is on you to educate your son re: the reasons for not buying cakes from an unknown origin, and also to send in something that he can buy if you want him to participate.

I think YABslightlyU! I have a nut allergic child and would never in a million years expect a PTA cake sale to cater for my child. I would, however, expect any in-house school caterers to supply nut-free products if they had advertised themselves as "nut-free" (but would always have the piriton and epipen on standby). My child hasn't started school yet (she's 4 but we're in Scotland) and she already knows that the world is a place where lots of stuff has nuts in it and that she always has to check. She's well used to having a home-baked cake/biscuit (or a Fabulous Bakin Boys one more usually!) in place of a cafe-bought or shop-bought product. It's a pain but there's only so much bending the outside world can do and in the end it's better to have a child who is aware and wise to their allergy rather than a child who is completely dependent on the reliability of others.

It's not very very reasonable, because it can't be guaranteed. Even if you have shop bought cakes on the stand as well, they may have been prepared in a factory which also prepares nut products. If I make a cake, I may not include nuts but there are certainly nuts in my kitchen and we eat nuts a lot at home, which there is a small but possible potential to transfer into school.

I don't think it's reasonable to prevent nuts ever entering school property anyway, unless you also expect the same in every single public place you ever go (pub peanuts, cakes in shops, nut toffee, I can see what a nightmare it must be but is it realistic for these all to be banned?) I think it's reasonable for things to be labelled and for you to keep him away from the cake stall or provide nut-free cakes that you then eat yourself.

We were even asked to vet all the boxes used for making junk modelling, to see if they contained nuts. Obviously cereal boxes are the worst for this, I think the chance of a child making it through without encountering a nutty-traced cereal box is also quite low and it's best to prepare for it rather than assume everyone will be completely vigilant all the time as they may try but may also forget.

I think it's reasonable to have nut-free dinners and none in the lunch-boxes as you can't control that environment yourself, but you can control if your child eats off the cake-stand. My child couldn't have a cake off the cake-sale this week as they were going to after-school club and they are not allowed to all wander in. She had to lump it and I bought one later and gave it to her at home.

The concept of a nut-free school is quite problematic IMO, not because people aren't willing, but they don't see the myriad of hidden places you can have nuts. I think you are fighting a losing battle if you expect everyone to vet their cakes, bought or made, for nuts or nut oil. I would assume they do have nuts in and work from there.

Both my kids are highly nut allergic,at cake sales etc they just buy back whatever cakes I have sent in,to be absolutely safe.

Drives me mad,having to bake cakes and then pay for them,but it's the easiest way around it.

Don't let them take a risk Booper13.The vast majority of people are good about taking allergies into account,but it's quite easy for human error to cause a horrible,horrible incident.

I have a severe allergy to nuts and have been blue lighted twice due to going into anaphylactic shock (not due to PTA home baking stalls). That being said I agree with the posters who have stated that you should educate your child on avoiding home baking or other foods where you can not guarantee the contents. It is an important life lesson for him, if in any doubt DON'T eat! Has served me well, as I'm still here to post this.

Even if parents were asked not to use nuts in the cakes, would you really consider them safe for your son to eat? I do think the PTA events are separate from the school and thus not covered by the "nut free school" label.

IIRC though, our PTA does request no nuts in cakes.

YABU

Surely you can't trust home-made cakes at a cake sale anyway, and it's silly to become complacent because the school is a "nut free zone". Even if parents are asked to make the cakes nut free, how do you know everyone will be as careful reading packets as you would need to be?

At best, a nut free school is just reducing the risk - it doesn't mean you can relax and assume it is nut free!

Everything has the caveat of "may contain traces of nuts/prepared in a factory which contains nuts" and I agree wholeheartedly that individuals baking cakes can't ensure total "nut freeness" or the PTA vet all cakes for this. I'm just a little disappointed that the school professed to be nut free and on the first occassion I have asked this to be upheld, I have met resistance.
Personally we don't have a problem with "traces", DS1 is thankfully not so severely allergic as that.
I did make cakes which I knew were safe for him, but the cake sale itself was something off a scrum and there were none left.
On reflection, he was probably more at risk of being crushed to death than suffering any ill as a result of the allergy.

kaumana - it is an important life lesson for him, if in any doubt DON'T eat! Has served me well, as I'm still here to post this.
Agree.

Your DC should say no thank you. That's it.
It's sad that he can't have everything others can have but that's the nature of his condition.

Booper - even if the PTA did ask for the cakes to be nut free, would you have let your son eat one?

YABU. Even if they sent a letter to parents saying no nuts, how could you possibly trust that they wouldn't include nuts. The parents may not be able to read properly, may not speak English, may misunderstand, may have accidental cross-contamination, or may simply not care. There is no way to guarantee that home baking from many different homes is absolutely nut free.

You have to send one cake seperate in a bag for him to buy back, or if the sale is for parents too, save the money and stress and take one along for him.

Otherwise you will find he is eating a cake made with marzipan or something as the baker had no idea was a nut product.

There is absolutely no way you could ensure that all cakes contributed to a pta cake sale are nut free. Therefore yabu.

YABU - but you cannot expect 'mainstream society' to bend to the needs of the few. It's unfortunate. But "thats's life"

I did make cakes which I knew were safe for him, but the cake sale itself was something off a scrum and there were none left.

You should have held one caked back knowing he could eat that. Or indeed, suggest to the PA that there is a nut-free stall. And someone else can have a diary free stall, and someone else can have an egg free stand. Then there can be a vegan stall. And a Kosher stall, and a halal stall. Quute possibly a fruitarian stall ....and eventually ther might be something mainstream people can eat.

YABU. I wouldn't trust a load of randoms to read the pta letter properly, remember to check all the labels and avoid any cross contamination in their kitchens. YABU to think that the school labeling itself nut free actually makes it so.

"Dairy allergy, albeit unpleasant, isn't life threatening. It's not a sensible comparison."

That would be funny if it wasn't so worrying.

:o @ troisgarcons

!

YABU imo, the outside world is not going to be nut free and you cannot expect it to, your ds has to adapt to this, by when he is older reading lables, asking whether food is nut free. The school cannot be entirely nut free, a child might have had peanut butter for breakfast or touched peanuts, what if a child is sick and has eaten nuts?

I think the thing is though, some of the other 'minority' groups you list are lifestyle choices, not life threatening allergies, I agree with your sentiment though troisgarcons

That is why he carries an epi pen as you cannot predict when or if he will be in contact with nuts.

troisgarcons - I will in future package a couple of our cakes separately and request that these be retained for him to buy.
There is also a child in the school with a gluten intolerance and a few people bake gluten free cakes to accommodate this. I will request henceforth that this practice stops as;
"you cannot expect 'mainstream society' to bend to the needs of the few. It's unfortunate. But "thats's life"
We wouldn't want these cakes to take up room that cakes "mainstream people" can eat could have!
You sound like you're no stranger to The Daily Mail.

Yes the school should have cakes without any nuts in, why don't you do some for the sale? Also there will be cakes which though are nut free might have been prepared in a place which has been in contact with nuts. If that is so, then it should be labled as such like foods are at a supermarket.