to think it's not so awful to ask a pregnant woman 'if she knows what she's having'?

[tryingtoleave]

I did this today and got a facetious 'well, we presume we're having a baby' reply. She went on about it a bit too, as though I had asked the stupidest question in the world. I was starting to feel a bit tempted to suggest it might be a puppy, but managed not to. Now, I don't care if this woman is having a boy or a girl; tbh, I don't really care much about the situation at all. But I was trying to make polite conversation and I thought two fairly innocuous comments to make when discussing a pregnancy were 'how is the pregnancy going?' and 'do you know what you're having?'. Most people seem happy to talk about it and if they have chosen not to find out are happy to talk about that too but if it is the wrong to ask, tell me - I can take it, and I will hold my tongue in future.

What a rude woman. I would have smiled sweetly at her, laughed and said 'well, given that reaction I think it's safe to assume that you are desperate for a girl'. But then I am a bitch and don't suffer fools

YANBU!!!

She is probably writing a hysterical post on mn complaining about people who ask "rude" questions to pg ladies.

I don't mind, as long as I like the person and want them to know and I also tell them what I'm having. If I don't like the person and don't want them to know personal things like that I say "I don't know". It's not really a question I get offended with and don't understand why some women do get offended.

'She awoke to find that The Thread Had Turned... '

OP you should have kept a completely straight face and replied 'Well they say to never assume, my cousin knew someone who thought all along it would be a baby and when it came out it was really strange - a bit like a guinea pig, but with wings and a big hat.'

Who cares? A pregnant woman (even though I am one I say this) thinks every word that drops from your lips Means Something or is a Pointed Reference. This carries on till after the 2nd birthday, which is nearly 3 years of taking a totally bonkers approach to the world. I should know, I've done it twice and am about to do it again. But I am Aware and therefore Better.

I didn't mind people asking questions when I was pg (thankfully I know how to hold a conversation), I liked it when they commented on the generosity of my tummy and didn't mind friends stroking it.

I was in a great mood.

Didn't you know you're not supposed to exchange pleasantries with a fellow member of the public without running it past a committee first? grin

haha , I dont think its a big deal shes probably quite precious and the hormones are probably adding to it.

LavenderScream did I mention how wonderful you are looking? You are positively blooming.

"a bit like a guinea pig, but with wings and a big hat"

Bloody hell, SoH, that's the funniest thing I've read all day

Witches - are you trying to say I looked like shit before I got pregant?

You get those threads on here with pregnant women saying 'Don't you just hate it when someone tells you you're looking really well and must be very excited about the baby?' and loads of other pregnant women reply 'Oh yes, and there was this bitch who asked me if I'd suffered much with morning sickness. I mean WTF! What a cow!'

I don't really get it. They don't seem to understand that most people are only asking to be polite. They couldn't really give a shit.

YANBU by the way.

No no no

You look especially fabulous.

Have reported you for bullying, Witches.

I've come to the conclusion that there isn't a single safe thing you can say to some pregnant women - not even hello.

However, this doesn't stop me

Lavender

witches that is veryfunny!! No, OP YANB at all U. She obviously has a "thing" about it. It is a perfectly normal thing to ask.

The bit you wrote about "I dont give a f......."

Some people are just fucking miserable, upduffed or not.

I had a work mate tell me I was being selfish that I didn't want to find out the sex of my baby when I was pregnant! She got really huffy with me for ages, never did figure out why! I was just happy I was pregnant after 3 miscarriages and would have loved it even if it was a monkey/guinea pig etc....:)

Cheers Norfolk

I too, don't understand finding out the gender and not telling anyone. Could someone on here perhaps enlighten me? There must be a reason, I just can't think of it right now.

"There must be a reason"

The reading of scans can be incorrect on gender.

Or maybe they just don't want to tell you? [hshock]

but look at it from another point of view, youre a total stranger, you have no interest, why DO you ask? its not necessary to make small talk, and if it is , whats wrong with the weather? i get asked all the time now if i know what im having, i dont mind people asking, but already its a very boring conversation, at least chatter about the weather changes regularly. plus, she is probably starting to feel that people just see her as an incubator...pregnancy, whilst usually having a positive outcome, can be a thoroughly miserable time for some, and you dont know how it will affect you til the vomitting/backache/headaches/thrush/irritability/constantpeeing/sleeplessness.............and so on, kicks in.

"They don't seem to understand that most people are only asking to be polite. They couldn't really give a shit."

To be fair, as a recently ex-pregnant woman, I used to get irritated by the numerous comments about me being pregnant day in day out for months on end. I was always polite and smiled and answered but I began to get the impression that I didn't exist, only my bump did. I knew most people were only being polite but I wished they'd just stop feeling obliged to talk about my pregnancy!

I far preferred it when I didn't have to give an update of how I was feeling every bloody day. I was feeling shit, no I still hadn't had the scan to find out if its a boy or a girl (I will tell you when I've had it but asking me every day will not make me find out any quicker), thanks for the scary labour stories, and yes DH is French (again, something I got asked a million times whilst pregnant in France).