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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not do partybags?

131 replies

BillBrysonsHauntedRucksack · 18/10/2011 13:01

DS is having a swimming party on Saturday and I have decided not to do party bags.

It's in the evening so no party food as such, but the kids will have a drink and an ice cream at the pool, and some bday cake to take home.

I normally have the courage of my convictions, but have had a few of these >>Hmm when I've mentioned the no party bag thing to other mums.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
LiegeAndLief · 18/10/2011 13:44

Whether YABU or not about the food, I really really think you ought to make the parents aware. I have never been to a kids party without food and probably would assume there would be some sandwiches and crisps going. My kids (one of them is 5) woudl fall asleep on the way home from the pool at 7:30, so they would go to bed with empty stomachs or something from the vending machine.

I wouldn't mind at all at there being no food, but if I knew in advance, I could bring sandwiches or something for them to have in the car.

Sorry, I know that was not what you were asking about at all! YAdefNBU abotu the party bags, but be prepared for some of the kids to ask you where they are...

40 5 year olds in a pool at 6:30... rather you than me! Grin

LiegeAndLief · 18/10/2011 13:45

Sorry, x post with your latest.

cjbartlett · 18/10/2011 13:46

I think if it was me I usually feed my kids straight after school so mine would be happy with the ice cream situation

glad to hear there will be cake!

i always send dh to swimming parties as I hate the costume thing too

rookery · 18/10/2011 13:46

Party bags are a waste of time, money and resources. I don't think you have to send children home with anything, but if you want to give something with the cake the kinder egg idea is fab. One year we got a load of hot wheels cars from Woolworths (RIP) - they were £1 each I think - and gave those out as people left. They went down well. Much cheaper than when I've assembled party bags myself (but depends how many are coming). Hope the party goes brilliantly.

piprabbit · 18/10/2011 13:53

I've dropped party bags for the last couple of years, in favour of giving every child a book. It's a bit of a hobby horse of mine Blush - especially after discovering that 3 in 10 children do not own a book of their own Shock.

I stock up at places like The Book People and buy collections of books which can be split, like these:
poetry books
Joke books

Spending less than a pound on a book each costs less than a party bag (by the time I've bought the bag, sweeties, small toy etc.).

xmyboys · 18/10/2011 13:55

Can you make a snack bag to take home instead??
Small sandwich
Packet of crisps or choc bar/frog
A loose balloon
Piece of cake

Cheap and easy to do in advance, just handout as they are leaving.
I think you will find the children will be hungry, they may have had dinner before the party but by the time they have travelled to the party, had a good swim and got changed they will be ravenous!

Harecare · 18/10/2011 13:56

Is he turning 5 or 6? My DD is 4 so is going to 5 year old parties now and I wouldn't expect food for her at a 6:30 - 7:30 party in a pool. I may decide not to take her though as she is usually in bed by 7 and could be too shattered. I'm sure the excitement would get her through, but I would be getting her dressed into pyjamas for the way home and even brushing teeth if it wasn't for the ice cream. She would expect a party bag - bag with sweets and cake is plenty. I'd be happy if she went home with a cheap blow up toy or nothing.
The party must suit you and your son or you wouldn't have chosen it. So long as everyone knows there is no food that is fine. So long as you have a good answer for anyone who asks about a party bag that's fine too. I hope you've let everyone know that you don't expect a present from everyone though. 40 presents for 1 child would be silly and unnecessary - like party bags! Grin

Floggingmolly · 18/10/2011 14:04

Be prepared to explain to the kids. I dispensed a lovely hardback book and a giant tube of smarties to get away from the plastic tat, and the little gits still demanded their party bag Grin

porcamiseria · 18/10/2011 14:11

fuck the food
fuck the party bags

GET A SPRAY TAN i would rather die than have DS friends see me in my cossie! unless you are like a WAG TOWIE mum OP!!!!! in that white bikini, handing our 1 haribo per child Grin

SearchSquad · 18/10/2011 14:12

Yes the Snack Bag idea is brilliant! OP please pay heed.

No mess, the hungry kids get fed and the party bag problem is also resolved.

Incroyable · 18/10/2011 14:17

YANBU on the party bags or in not supplying food IMHO - the party is only 1hr long, I would not expect there to be time for food to be given out. Cake and lovely home made ice cream sounds good to me Grin

vess · 18/10/2011 14:17

No party bags - good, I hate party bags (even though kids love them at that age)
No food - no good, they will be hungry. Nothing fancy, two big plates of sandwiches should do. I would consider not doing cake if you have ice cream - you can still stick some candles into it and sing happy birthday, and everyone will be happy. Never quite understood the practice of taking birthday cake home anyway - surely birthday cakes are meant to be eaten at the party?

A lolly or a handfull of sweets should make up for the lack of party bag, if you think kids will be upset.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 18/10/2011 14:40

3 in 10 children do not own a book of their own

OMG!

snice · 18/10/2011 14:48

just checking here-but do all the adults know that they have to get in and swim? only DD went to a swimming party where they hadn't made this clear so not enough of the adults had cossies to make up the required ratio.

RedHotPokers · 18/10/2011 14:49

40 5yos in a pool at 6.30pm. Shock
20+ mums and dads having to go in with them. Shock
No food. Shock

Tbh, it sounds like my idea of hell, but I'm sure the children will love it. The parents will probably have to have lots of Wine afterwards!

grograg · 18/10/2011 14:49

I love it when my dd's get party bags, keeps them amused for a while.

Happymm what is wrong with a build a bear type party (not build a bear as they are to expensive)? DD wanted to do this for her birthday with 6 friends. I was going to order all the bits next week. Im wondering if parents will think it's abit naff now :(

AScatteringofPoorSardines · 18/10/2011 14:57

I made party bags out of old magazines for 45 for DD2 & DS2 joint party, didn't take long, was v easy and made me feel like a green Kirsty Allsopp

I bought stationary packs (cute notepads, rubbers etc) in the January sales and split them between them so they had two things each, a balloon, a treat size sweet and a piece of cake.

I do love the snack bag idea. I wouldn't have a problem with no food though, as long as I knew in advance.

snice · 18/10/2011 15:03
Grin
GreyRosesAreMyFavourite · 18/10/2011 15:07

sardines - wow!!! Oh I wish I'd posted 'how to make home made party bags' before I traipsed round a dozen shops last weekend and in the end found gift bags 3 for £1 in poundland and ended up buying those!! I have loads of really posh magazines as well. I'd have looked like a complete super mummy Grin

Bunbaker · 18/10/2011 15:25

Swimming always makes children hungry in my experience. IMO an ice-cream won't really fill an empty stomach. I like the idea of snack bags instead of party bags.

DD has been to a few swimming parties and there was always food afterwards. In fact she has never been to a party where was no food at all, so you will have to make it clear to every parent that there won't be food.

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 18/10/2011 15:25

Well OP you could always give them a Greggs sausage roll Wink

AScatteringofPoorSardines · 18/10/2011 15:35

Why thank you snice and Grey

You just fold one long edge over (to make the top), wrap a box the right size but leave the 'top' open, take box out and voila! If you want handles, punch holes and use ribbon.

Pandemoniaa · 18/10/2011 15:43

YANBU in not doing party bags for that many. A bit of birthday cake will do nicely.

But I'm more than a little in [hshock] about the lack of food. You are going to have to make this abundantly clear to everyone invited because I cannot imagine any sort of children's party (let alone a swimming party where they will be ravenous afterwards) which dispenses with food by offering ice cream. Ice cream, as someone has said, not actually qualifying as "food".

It's all very well assuming that the guests will have eaten beforehand but actually, you aren't supposed to swim on a full stomach are you? For sure, we never, ever, had tea before evening swimming and I'd be amazed to discover I was alone in this.

microfight · 18/10/2011 15:45

I am glad you have made everything clear to the parents OP because I would certainly have to decline!! Swim suit in front of all the other parents [shudder] No food and so late. Tis really my idea of hell too!

CocktailQueen · 18/10/2011 15:47

Hmm, I'd agree - do food! I'd not be impressed if dd went to a swimming party and had no food after. They'll be starved!

Also, I do pressies instead of party - bags - a book, for example. Cheap packs from Book People. work out cheaper than party bag tat and the kids really appreciate them. Just an idea?

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