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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think £80 is more than okay as 'rent' ?

44 replies

neveraddthena · 18/10/2011 01:07

My kid sister (18) has moved in with us.

She works between 20-30hrs a week, volunteers and of her own accord does the washing, ironing, food shop, does about half the cooking for us all and does bits of cleaning and tiding, helps out with bits of childcare (we have a 3yro and a 1yro) - eg will take them out for a few hours to give us some time together, get them dressed in mourning a couple of days a fortnight so we can both get into work early as they get picked up at 9, generrally play,look after them here and there.

She is saving up to go travelling before uni.
Our parents still give her £60 a month and she has her wages coming in (minium wage - she works in a shop)

She gives us £80 a month mainly for food and with all of the house stuff she does (DH works ft and I work pt - 4 days in 3) I think this is fine esp as she is saving to go travelling ect.

Me and DH agreed on this but he said this weekend that it should go up.

Do you think that amount with all the stuff she does is fair?
Or is DH right and should it be a more?

OP posts:

Cathycomehome · 18/10/2011 01:10

Sounds fair to me - but not sure she should be dressing your children in mourning....

lurkerspeaks · 18/10/2011 01:16

Where are you in the UK - what is the going rate for rent locally.

Where I am a room in a shared flat (no bills) costs around 800 quid so 80 would be selling yourself really short.

In essence though she is 'working' as an au pair for you and in the shop and it cuts both ways....has your husband thought about it that way?

grumplestilskin · 18/10/2011 01:16

no I don't think it should go up much, she sounds like she is basically a part time au pair for you guys and if she does much more YOU should be paying HER pocket money!

FreddieMercurysBolero · 18/10/2011 01:19

Most definetly fair, considering all she does. My sister is living with us at the moment, she pays E60 per week rent, this is a third of the total cost of our rent. She pays a quarter of electricity bill, and one quarter of the heating bill, as we thought DS should account for a quarter of those bills.

However, she is in a fairly well paid job and works 50+ hours per week. She babysits DS about once a month also, but is happy to do so. She did live with us rent free for a summer before DS came along. My brother had to do unpaid work experience last year and lived with us rent free, he did a little babysitting in return. I would say it's very fair considering what she is earning and what she does in the house and with DCs etc.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/10/2011 01:19

Yes, I think all the chores she does for your family is worth a fortune.

Count them up, multiply by minimum wage, add it the 80 quid she's already giving you and you have a reasonable rent.

Unless she's eating you out of house and home

It sounds like she's doing 10-15 hours a week on your family stuff? That's a good deal for you both.

Actually if I'm honest, it sounds like you and your dh are getting a really good deal.

OogaBooga · 18/10/2011 01:33

I agree with everyone else, considering all she does it sounds fair enough.

If you consider that having an Au Pair would cost you around £100 - £150 a week and you are expected to provide food and accomadation then really it's a bargain!

It sounds like she does a lot to help as she is aware she is not paying 'market rate' which to me seems fair enough and I would be pleased with the help.

Planetofthegrapes · 18/10/2011 02:27

Yes, the set-up at the moment seems fair to me.

I think your DH is being a bit greedy, she is only 18 after all, and working part time in a min wage job.

Does he resent her being there?

izzywhizzysfritenite · 18/10/2011 03:30

Tell your dh he's a cheapskate and you shouldn't be charging your dsis a penny.

Would she like to be my au pair? I'm currently advertising for a replacement:
ensuite room, ch, hd tv & wifi, Central London - great transport links, no young children, no babysitting/school runs required, light housekeeping duties 15 hours per week, all meals/snacks provided (we eat well chez Izzy).

She'll earn £600 a month and I can arrange for her to stay a couple of nights with various of my friends in Europe, the Far East, Australasia, and the Americas to facilitate her travels.

CaptainMartinCrieff · 18/10/2011 03:59

No I don't think it should go up; she seems to be doing her fair share, she's your sister, she's saving her money and you agreed a rent and it's unfair to change it now IMO.

Iteotwawki · 18/10/2011 04:06

I misread this at first as you giving her £80/month - which is too little IMHO. Then I read it properly - am amazed you are asking her to pay anything! It sounds like she does far more for you in household tasks than her food bill would cost. I would suggest to your DH that a fairer thing to do would be to work out how much you would pay her to do those jobs, take off a bit to allow for bed/board - and then pay her the difference. If he's not going to be happy with that, he should stfu :)

Step · 18/10/2011 07:56

For that amount of work she can stay eith us for nothing!

Grumpla · 18/10/2011 08:02

I think that's a lot of money for an 18yr old on minimum wage to pay, considering the amount of work she's already doing for you!

If she was sat on her arse / causing you extra work, or taking up a room that you would otherwise be renting out at full market rate, you could perhaps have negotiated a slightly higher rate before she moved in. But it doesn't sound as though that's what's going on at all!

You need to tally up the hors she's working for your DH and explain in no uncertain terms that a) you're getting a fantastic deal compared to the cost of an au pair / babysitter for those hours and b) even if you weren't getting such a good deal it would still be very unfair to change the terms of your agreement with your sister once she had moved in.

gothicangel · 18/10/2011 08:05

sounds fair to me, as she does help you alot, doing jobs ect.

CotherMuckingFuntingZombie · 18/10/2011 08:07

What station shall I meet you at izzy?

I would be paying her £80 a month for that kind of help.

HairyBeaver · 18/10/2011 08:11

I think £80 p/w is way to much considering all she does for you and she's trying to save! I would knock it down to £40 p/w but that's just me. I'm a softy

livinonaprayer · 18/10/2011 08:38

It's £80 a month, not a week if I'm reading op right. I think this is fine. Yes she is helping out a lot but apart from the childcare help this is what she would have to do if she was living alone. I paid my mum more than this once I was earning, and yes it was minimum wage. A bit of a life lesson surely? I think your arrangement is fair to you both OP

EllaDee · 18/10/2011 09:02

She sounds lovely. I think it is right she should pay you something - it's respectful to her as a 'proper adult' and she probably feels proud to contribute, besides which it's a good habit. But I don't think it should be more than 80 quid unless you actually need the money - she is helping out a lot by the sound of it.

CailinDana · 18/10/2011 09:05

Perhaps you should say to your DH that you'll put her rent up but on the agreement that she is a proper lodger who doesn't have to look after the kids. He might change his mind then. She sounds like a fab sister who is a great help to you and I think 80 a month is perfect. I'm dying for my sis to come and live with us next year and I think I'd charge her about the same as she'd be just as helpful.

Catsdontcare · 18/10/2011 09:09

I read it as £80 p/w and thought that was alot but I see it is £80 a month. Not sure if £80 a month would cover all her food costs though? If it does the I would say that along with all the help she is giving you then that is fine, she clearly appreciates what you are doing for her and she sounds lovely, not sure I'd swap all those chores for an extra £20 a month!

However if you don't think she's covering the cost of her food then maybe chat about that?

WoTmania · 18/10/2011 09:11

YANBU She sounds lovely and helpful, I bet he'll miss her help when she's off on her travels!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 18/10/2011 09:11

Blimey, you should be paying her by the sound of it !

CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza · 18/10/2011 09:17

Even if £80 doesn't cover her food, the fact that she does all the shopping, laundry, ironing, cleaning and childcare means you are onto an extremely good deal.

What did your husband's last slave die of?

slavetofilofax · 18/10/2011 09:20

I think your husband is being tight.

Would he want more money out of his own sister?

mollymole · 18/10/2011 09:23

Your DH is being very unfair - she is working as an au pair in your house and is paying you to do so.

CherylWillBounceBack · 18/10/2011 09:26

OP Your hubby sounds like he wants the moon on a stick! You are getting a fantastic deal and you clearly have a very nice sister.

izzywhizzysfritenite - that sounds like the best job in the world. All living costs covered AND £600 per month spending money for 15 hours per week??? Will you accept a 32 year old bloke? I promise to do a sterling job!

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