Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think £80 is more than okay as 'rent' ?

44 replies

neveraddthena · 18/10/2011 01:07

My kid sister (18) has moved in with us.

She works between 20-30hrs a week, volunteers and of her own accord does the washing, ironing, food shop, does about half the cooking for us all and does bits of cleaning and tiding, helps out with bits of childcare (we have a 3yro and a 1yro) - eg will take them out for a few hours to give us some time together, get them dressed in mourning a couple of days a fortnight so we can both get into work early as they get picked up at 9, generrally play,look after them here and there.

She is saving up to go travelling before uni.
Our parents still give her £60 a month and she has her wages coming in (minium wage - she works in a shop)

She gives us £80 a month mainly for food and with all of the house stuff she does (DH works ft and I work pt - 4 days in 3) I think this is fine esp as she is saving to go travelling ect.

Me and DH agreed on this but he said this weekend that it should go up.

Do you think that amount with all the stuff she does is fair?
Or is DH right and should it be a more?

OP posts:

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/10/2011 09:29

I'm surprised you are not paying her . I think that she should be seen as paying her rent part in cash and part in kind. If you had to get childcare to cover what she is doing that would cost a fair bit before you start adding in the cooking and cleaning.

Bloodymary · 18/10/2011 09:30

You are already getting a very good deal, and your DH is being greedy.

tyler80 · 18/10/2011 09:31

I think the current amount sounds fairly reasonable.

Helping to get the kids ready for school twice a fortnight is not the same as working as an au pair imo.

ohbabybaby · 18/10/2011 09:34

What a lovely sister you have. I reckon if we had my 25 yo brother living with me I would struggle to even get him to clear up after himself!

I definately agree she should pay something - she is earning some money after all (even if not much), and older teenagers do need to get used to budgeting and paying their way. I would have thought £80pm covers her food more or less, you could say the rent itself is covered by how much she helps out.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 18/10/2011 09:38

I think considering all she does its really fair and probably really nice for all of you especially the dc's who'll have a great relationship with their Aunt.

Just a thought but how about returning some of her rent to her at the end of her stay before she goes travelling? My mum did this with me, when I was 18 I lived at home worked f/t in a shop saving to go travelling and she gave me back £100. Not a huge amount but she'd saved it from the rent I paid her.

Not sure how your DH would go for that !!

EllaDee · 18/10/2011 09:43

Just thinking about it ... why not suggest to your DH she is charged more for rent, but you also work out how much you'd pay for childcare, laundry, cooking etc. He might get a surprise! (Or maybe I am being unfair to him).

You don't have to answer this, it's none of my business, but is it possible your DH doesn't value the work your sister does because he doesn't know for himself what it's like? I just wonder, him being full-time and you part-time, if maybe he hasn't done much of the housework/childcare for a while and therefore doesn't really get how much your sister is doing? I may be barking up the wrong tree here entirely, though.

mumeeee · 18/10/2011 09:44

I think what she pays and the help she gives you is fair to both of you.

raspberryroop · 18/10/2011 11:53

Love the idea of giving her a bit of lump sum when she leaves - Get your Dh to pay !!

MrsMooo · 18/10/2011 12:31

Hmmm, I can see both sides.

You could argue that she's only giving you £20 if your parents are covering £60

I would add it up like this:
charge her a proportion of the bills say £100pcm (gas electric etc)
Work out what her food costs are for the month say £100 to give you her rent at £200

then work out how much she does for you (say 15 hours a week at minimum wage would be about £92, then the remainder is what you should be charging her £108 to "break even" and so your DH is right.

If what you should be charging her is less than £80 (I'd imagine her food bill is more than that, but I'm a greedy moo ) then it's be lovely to give her a lump sum of what you "owe" her when she goes travelling

MrsMooo · 18/10/2011 12:32

FWIW, when I lived with my sister 10 years ago, I paid her £60 a week, but I was earning over £200.. £80pcm seems like not a lot at all to me

Check what local rent is for house/flat shares and see if you're being reasonable

goinggetstough · 18/10/2011 13:12

I think charging £20 per week is very reasonable if not rather generous on your part OP. My student DD who is living in a shared house (Bristol) has rent of £90 per week plus (£40)utility bills per month plus £20 food per week. So approx £500 per month in total, so even allowing for the fact that she helps in the house and that she is family, she is on a very good deal.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 18/10/2011 13:26

I think your DH is being a tight wad and ungrateful.

She is doing a lot for you - you'd be paying an Au Pair money on top of her 'keep' for that.

However, as others have said - even if this wasn't working out too well, it's what you agreed and you should stick to it.

grovel · 18/10/2011 13:35

There's an argument for charging her nothing (the marginal cost of having a fifth householder is negligible, she is pulling her weight and is saving up for a once-in-a- lifetime experience and she's family).
There's also an argument for charging her the going rate for your area and paying her for chores you would not expect a tenant to do (it's the real world she's moving into and she needs to learn the value of money).
My sense is that you've got it about right.

kelly2000 · 18/10/2011 13:35

To be honest if she is doing all the washing, ironing, food shopping half the cooking, and some child care she should not be paying anything. An aupair does 25 hours of basic childcare and light housework (i.e not all the ironing and laundry) and in return gets room and board, and about £80 - £100 a week in pocket money.

eurochick · 18/10/2011 13:39

It sounds like she is doing loads for you. I dont think I would ask her for anything in those circumstances, maybe just a contribution to food costs.

£80 a week is a lot. Depending on where you are in the country, she could probably get a room in a shared house for that, without having to do housework for other people!

grovel · 18/10/2011 13:44

It's £80 a month

lashingsofbingeinghere · 18/10/2011 14:34

YANBU
I would tell DH he doesn't know he's well off!

nickelbabe · 18/10/2011 14:46

£80 a month is a good deal.

I don't think you should raise it, given all the stuff she does for your family.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 18/10/2011 16:03

How much would you have to pay someone to do all that she is doing?

Add that cost to the amount she is giving you in money.

What is she actually paying you?

Flip

1 2